AB C D E F G the New Alphabet song for the next generation

As I think about my grandson who is just approaching one and will be being read to and who will in the next few years be starting to learn his ABC's I dedicate this post.

For those of you who have kids, this is your homework. You will be tested tomorrow.
Looks like we have to learn our ABCs all over again.

The Latest from Nursery Schools' Syllabus:

 A:  APPLE

B:  BLUETOOTH

C:  CHAT

D:  DOWNLOAD

E:  E MAIL

F:  FACEBOOK

G:  GOOGLE

H:  HEWLETT PACKARD

I:     iPHONE

J:  JAVA

K:   KINGSTON

L:   LAPTOP

M:  MESSENGER

N:  NERO

O:  ORKUT

P:  PICASSA

Q:  QUICK HEAL

R:  RAM

 S:  SERVER

T:  TWITTER

U:  USB

V:   VISTA

W:  WiFi

X:   Xp

Y:  YOU TUBE

Z:  ZORPIA

Thank God .... A is still Apple

Gotta fix those brakes

One dark night in the township of Kaitaia, New Zealand, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.  The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

 When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off.  Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.  As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files.  But still the fire companies could not get through.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.  It was the nearby Taneatua Maori rural township volunteer fire company, composed mainly of Maoris over the age of 65.

 To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.   Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.  Outside, the other firemen watched as the Maori old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.  It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

 The local TV station caught the thank you on film and asked their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Well," said Hohepa, the 70-year-old fire chief, "The first thing we gonna do is fix the brakes on that truck.

Now do you understand (A guide to world Economics)

Helga is the proprietor of a bar.

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers' loans).

Word gets around about Helga's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helga's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in town.

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Helga gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Helga's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Helga's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!!!

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.  These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AA" "Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb!!!, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helga's bar. He so informs Helga. Helga then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Helga cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Helga's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Helga's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers. Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government..

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who’ve never been in Helga’s bar.

Now do you understand

If my body was a car

If my body was a car, I would be in trouble, and this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed today?

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes.

As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."

The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."

But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.

A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years.

She greeted them with "Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you the wisdom for our students today."

"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you and may God be with you."

But again after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant.

Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was Rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face before greeting Sister Mary.

"Good morning, Sister Mary, I'm so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a wonderful day."

"Ah, good morning, Mother Superior. I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong?" I have tried to be pleasant but three times already today people have said that about me."

Sister Mary stopped her walker and looked Mother Superior in the face.

"Oh, don't take it personally, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."

Common Sense

Thanks to Geri for this post Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; ... - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing....:~)))

Harry & Bess

Harry Truman was a different kind of President.  He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding the history of the USA as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him.  However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

　

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri .  His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

　

When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year.  Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

　

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated,  Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves.  There was no Secret Service following them.

　

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me.  You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me.  It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

　

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

　

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

　

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth.  Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale (cf. Illinois ).

　

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician.  And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!"

I say dig him up and clone him!

WE can find very good use of his clone here in BC !!!

 

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS

Thanks to Patti for these punny sayings

1.  The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.
10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13.  Two hats were hanging on a rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehabilitation centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet'.
 17.  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 19.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
 20.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
 21.  A backward poet writes inverse.
 22.  In democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
 23.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
 24.  Don't join dangerous cults:  Practice safe sects!

Why I Am now Divorced

Ladies a word of warning if you are feeling you are being ignored, do not do what this lady friend of mine did. Here is her story.

 Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,  'Happy Birthday!',  and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, he barely said good morning,  et alone 'Happy Birthday.' 

I thought....   Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember.  
My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. 

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. 

 As I walked into my office, my handsome boss Rick said, 'Good morning, lady, and by the way... Happy Birthday!'  

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.  

I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it IS your birthday.  What do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me?'  

 I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.  Let's go!'  

 We went to lunch.  But we didn't go where we normally would go.  He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.  We had two martinis each   and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.  

On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day...  We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?'  

I responded, 'I guess not.  What do you have in mind?' 

He said, 'Let's drop by my place.  It's just around the corner.'  

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, 'If you don't mind,  

I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.  I'll be right back.' 

'Ok,' I nervously replied. 

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out  carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there.....  

On the couch.... 

Naked.

Old folks humour (or not)

An elderly gentleman.....Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

 Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

 An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?

You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, a young student nurse  found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

 A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys are out walking..

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour  'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

And One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

She could be right?

The longer you've been married, the funnier this becomes!

An old married couple was at home watching TV.

The husband had the remote and was switching back

and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

 The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said:

 "For Pete Sake! Leave it on the porn channel.

You already know how to fish!"

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Thanks to Jlyn for these
Actual Announcements From Church 　

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

2. Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
3. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
4. Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
6. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper at the end of the service.
8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
9. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Bleser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Delser.

Sometimes husbands forget

At the nursery, the sales clerk said, "I'm sorry sir, we don't have any African Violets in stock. We don't carry them at this time of year. Perhaps a nice potted geranium?"

"No," replied Kevin rather sadly, "It was African Violets that my wife told me to water while she was gone."

Thinking of

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible...

No, wait... I'm thinking of alcohol.  So you can see that while I'm in therapy now I wish I was back in denial; it was a lot cheaper.

Power of money

A crusty old man walks into the local Catholic church and
says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn
 church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, Sir. I
 must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn
 church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not
 tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the priest's
 study to inform him of her situation.
The priest agrees that the secretary does not have to
 listen to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the priest asks the old
 geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 20
 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to join this
 damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

 "I see," said the priest. "And is this witch giving you a hard time?

Facebook

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group and perhaps their kids too !!! 
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."  You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."  Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.  I was recently asked if I tweet.  I answered, "No, but I do toot a lot.."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 50.  I posted this to allow you to forward it to those who are. 

We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets.  The tv remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

off beat humour

Thanks to Linda and Derwyn for sharing

Universal Questions

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... are they cramming for their final exam?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You cannot make this stuff up

When did we go wireless?

Copper Wire   A  little  history   information  for  you

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:

"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".

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One week later, Canadian Dept. of Mines and Resources in  “Newfoundland”   reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in NE Canada, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing at all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Canada had already gone wireless."

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