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Gratitude is the key to happiness. It is true. But let’s talk about this one point. Can you have too much?

The world is overflowing with gratitude. You see it in the way your friends and family act and express their love for you. People are talking about the events that brought them joy in the past. Is there too much gratitude?

Are you one of those people who can’t get through a day without being grateful? If so, I’ve got some somewhat disappointing news for you. You may be in danger of going overboard with your abundant nature. The reason is simple too much gratitude may grow us into being self-centred.

Many people have said it’s good to be thankful, but do you feel you are saying it is too much and you have to be thankful for everything? This year I feel like I’m saying thank you too much. I try to stay grateful for all of the blessings that grace my life.

In a world full of problems, it’s easy to get lost in our own anxiety. There are always issues needing attention; there are people who have less than us. Why waste time feeling sorry for ourselves because we just don’t have the money or resources to take care of things? What if I gave you unlimited money? What would you spend your money on?

One of my favourite things about being grateful is not thinking about tomorrow. I realize that life is short; being present during the moment is the most important task I can do. This helps turn a bad day into a good day. Why is that? I am thankful for what is already in front of me and for the blessings in my life. So, to answer my question the answer is No way!

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Can you imagine the joy, the peace, and the complete sense of satisfaction that should be here at this time of year?

This is a question that many people ask themselves during this time of year. It’s also a question I have asked myself as I’ve watched my friends struggle with illness and death over the past few years.

This is the time of year when we are all supposed to feel joy in our hearts and peace in our souls. But, for many people, this is a time of year that brings nothing but stress and anxiety.

It’s not your fault if you have been feeling this way. You are not alone for feeling stressed during the holiday season. In fact, there are some people who seem to thrive on the chaos and pressure that come with this time of year.

And yet, despite all these difficulties, we still find hope in this season. Faith is a source of joy, hope, and peace. You can find happiness and fulfillment even when times are tough. Christmas is a time of grand celebration and we hope you will be happy this holiday season and always

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This is a time of year to connect or reconnect with friends, old and new. Who is in our circle of influence and which of those do you call a friend? There are many terms for our circle. Steven Covey believes that we must be more mindful of our “Circle of Influence”. These are things which we can do something about. 

• How you talk about yourself and others. 
• How you look after your body and make time for relaxation. 
• How you breathe when you feel worried. 
• How you challenge and reframe my thoughts. 
• The choices you make. 
• The habits and routines you set. 
• Where do you get your news from? 
• The people you follow on social media. 
• When it is time to ask someone for help. 
• When it is time to say “No” or “Not right now”. 
• How kind you are to others and yourself. 

Are you mindful of the people that are in your circle of influence? Think about when you were a pre-schooler, your circle of influence was your family, your brothers, sisters, cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Parents. We were influenced by them and we paid attention to what they said and did and we learned. 

In school our circle of influence grew, we added friends outside the family, classmates, teachers, teammates boyfriends and girlfriends. We thought it cool to have a lot of friends and many who did not collect friends felt left out.

When we left school for work or university our sphere of influence grew again. Some of us discarded friends from school to make room for university or college friends. Once we started work we made sure that we included work colleagues in our circle.

However, our circle of influence now had grown to between 300 and 500 people. Too many so we acknowledged some people within our circle of influence as acquaintances, and others as friends but we kept the core of the family. If you got married most of your inner circle from your side and your partners' side were invited to the wedding.  The average wedding party number according to Google may vary a little depending on who you're speaking with, but a small wedding typically includes 50 people or under, a medium wedding has a guest list of anywhere from 50-150 guests, and a large wedding has over 150 attendees. It's important to remember that these numbers will be a little bit different for everyone.

When you die, depending on your age, if you are older than approx 80 years the normal number of people who attend is between 10–50 guests. If you die younger you could get between 100–500 people attending. 

The people at your wedding are not the same people at your funeral, but they are people that you have held in your circle of influence. These are people that you had an effect on and influenced for the positive in your life.  I have many people in my circle but only a few that I call friends. I cherish my friends and my family and make sure that they know that I cherish them. I hope you do as well.

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It is interesting what you can find on the Net. US News and World Report do a yearly report on countries. They use a set of 73 country attributes – terms that can be used to describe a country and that are also relevant to the success of a modern nation. Various attributes and nations were presented in a 2022 survey of more than 17,000 people from across the globe from April 30 to July 13. Participants assessed whether they associated an attribute with a nation.

Each country was scored on each of the 73 country attributes based on a collection of individual survey responses. The more a country was perceived to exemplify a certain characteristic in relation to the average, the higher that country's attribute score and vice versa. These scores were normalized to account for outliers and transformed into a scale that could be compared across the board.

These Are the Friendliest Countries in the world along with their ranking as the best country in the world to live in.

These are the top countries viewed as friendly by global survey respondents. For more information on the rankings, see their methodology.

New Zealand #1 in Friendly #11 in Best Countries Overall

Spain #2 in Friendly, #16 in Best Countries Overall

Italy #3 in Friendly #14 in Best Countries Overall

Greece #4 in Friendly #25 in Best Countries Overall

Canada #5 in Friendly #3 in Best Countries Overall

Netherlands #6 in Friendly #12 in Best Countries Overall

Australia, #7 in Friendly, #7 in Best Countries Overall

Norway #8 in Friendly #13 in Best Countries Overall

Finland ,#9 in Friendly #15 in Best Countries Overall

Ireland #10 in Friendly  #23 in Best Countries Overall

Sweden #11 in Friendly #5 in Best Countries Overall

Portugal #12 in Friendly #26 in Best Countries Overall

Denmark #13 in Friendly #10 in Best Countries Overall

Switzerland #14 in Friendly #1 in Best Countries Overall

Thailand #15 in Friendly #28 in Best Countries Overall

Austria #16 in Friendly #22 in Best Countries Overall

Brazil #17 in Friendly #27 in Best Countries Overall

Singapore #18 in Friendly #19 in Best Countries Overall

Belgium #19 in Friendly #18 in Best Countries Overall

Poland #20 in Friendly  #32 in Best Countries Overall

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When we're retired, we have a smaller world, bound by family and neighbours and limited activities. But we can still make a difference in our community, and in the people we love.

So, who are the absolute happiest people? The world's happiest countries, 2022 edition lists the top twenty countries. My country Canada ranks 15th, and my daughter's adopted country Australia ranks 12th.

1. Finland

2. Denmark

3. Iceland

4. Switzerland

5. Netherlands

6. Luxembourg

7. Sweden

8. Norway

9. Israel

10. New Zealand

11. Austria

12. Australia

13. Ireland

14. Germany

15. Canada

16. United States

17. United Kingdom

18. Czechia (Czech Republic)

19. Belgium

20. France

With the world in a state of upheaval, we could use some happy news. The 10th annual World Happiness Report has been released—just days ahead of the annual International Day of Happiness on March 20. The World Happiness Report—which ranks global happiness in more than 150 countries around the world—is released every year by the Sustainable Development Solutions Network. The statisticians base the ranking on data from the Gallup World Poll and several other factors, including levels of GDP, life expectancy and more.

With the world entering the third year of the pandemic, the report has three areas of focus in 2022: looking back; looking at how people and countries are doing in the face of Covid-19 and looking ahead to how the science of well-being is likely to evolve in the future.

The good news: This year’s report found remarkable worldwide growth in all three acts of kindness monitored in the Gallup World Poll. Some other good news, despite the pandemic: Positive emotions as a whole remained more than twice as frequent as negative ones. According to the report, there is still a lot of year-to-year consistency in the way people rate their lives in top-ranking countries.

Besides the happiest countries in the world, the report also looked at the places where people are the saddest. Afghanistan ranked as the unhappiest country in the world, with Lebanon, Zimbabwe, Rwanda and Botswana rounding out the bottom five.

So, what makes Finland so happy? “Research shows that high national ranking on these surveys is not so much about culture. It’s more about how a country’s institutions take care of their people—this leads to higher ratings of life satisfaction, According to other experts at Helsinki-based Aalto University, other factors contributing to this small country’s success include smart urban planning, access to green spaces to reduce stress and promote physical activity, an effective system of progressive taxation and strong healthcare and education systems.

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 Are you happy? This is an interesting question at this time of year; the stock and short answer is yes. Are you happy most of the time or just sometimes is another question that could be asked? There is a ‘Set Point’ theory of happiness and well-being that assumes we each have a fixed ‘average’ level of happiness around which our day-to-day and moment-to-moment happiness varies.

We express our level of happiness through our temperament, mood, and emotion. The set point theory relies on the idea that when our natural temperament is stable, we will have slowly moving moods, but with momentary changes in experienced emotions.

Set Point theory showed that people who won the lottery, after the initial euphoria has died down, are no happier than people with spinal cord injuries. A question that this theory brings up is whether it is possible to get any happier, or whether we are just stuck with the happiness we are born with and that some people will always be more naturally cheerful than others. It seems a rather fatalistic position to take. Genetic studies show that there is a significant degree of inheritance in many personality factors. This implies that the Set Point may not make up all of a person’s happiness, but only a part of it.

The notion of a happiness set point suggests that we are limited to an “inborn” level of happiness that’s not likely to change much no matter what happens in life. This is good news if you are on the cheerful end of the spectrum. Not so good if you tend to be gloomy. But is it really true?

Let’s see how these studies are typically designed. It’s obvious “measuring” happiness can never be as precise as weighing in on a scale. The problem is happiness research depends on subjective self-assessments. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy do you think you are compared to other people?” “Do you laugh a lot?” That sort of thing. Such surveys can show what a person believes about themselves, but they don’t really prove anything. 

Simple Ways to Raise Your Happiness Set Point

Simply try to choose mindfulness. Focus on solutions instead of problems. Accept the situation, look at the choices available, and take some action.  Even baby steps help.

Make happiness your number-one goal. Don’t believe every negative thought you have. Your brain is wired to pay more attention to whatever it perceives as threatening your survival. Ask yourself if what you are ruminating about is actually life-threatening. Is it even helpful? If not, gently refocus your mind on something positive–or better yet, something that makes you laugh. Even better, laugh at yourself.

Linger on those little, positive moments. Develop a positive explanatory style. Optimists are happier and optimism can be learned.

Practice gratitude. Look for the tiny things you usually take for granted and feel appreciation for them. Aren’t you thankful for hot running water? A car that starts. Your pillow. Your next breath. Of course, you are!

Take good care of your body. Get plenty of rest, healthy food, and exercise. What’s good for your body is good for your brain.

Cultivate healthy relationships. Don’t put off calling a friend. Make it a point to spend quality time with people you love. Don’t gossip!

Smile your way to happiness and practice random acts of kindness. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you make someone else feel better. Make a positive difference in someone’s life today. Let yourself be happy. Smiles and hugs Yes! There is a way to choose to become a happier person.

However, these are just suggestions. There are lots of other ways things you can try to raise the set point of your happiness and this is the time of year to start. What are other ways you might raise your happiness set point?

 

 

The mind and goal setting

Many people who talk about mind techniques and the power of the universe get confused, in my mind, between learning styles and goal setting strategies. First it is well know in education circles that there are three main types of learning styles: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic. Most people learn best through a combination of the three types of learning styles, but everybody is different.  

In addition to the concept of using these three strategies for learning Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), says that people view life in general as either visual, auditory, or kinesthetic

Auditory learners would rather listen to things being explained than read about them. Reciting information out loud and having music in the background may be a common study method. Other noises may become a distraction resulting in a need for a relatively quiet place. 

Visual learners learn best by looking at graphics, watching a demonstration, or reading. For them, it's easy to look at charts and graphs, but they may have difficulty focusing while listening to an explanation. 

Kinesthetic learners process information best through a "hands-on" experience. Actually doing an activity can be the easiest way for them to learn. Sitting still while studying may be difficult, but writing things down makes it easier to understand. 

Although most people use a combination of the three learning styles, they usually have a clear preference for one type. So mind technique gurus and others use the way we learn to help us focus on what we want to achieve and do. In fact, we are using skills that work for us when we want to learn, and we then apply these skills to a practical goal. 

The problem is that many who want to help us gain the skills actually make it difficult for many of us to do what we want. The main focus of many goal setting sessions and training is on the act of visualization or power visualization or a variation on the idea of visual prompts. About 30% of the population is visual in their approach to learning and life, while 40% are Kinesthetic and 30% are visual.

So when a visual is given guidance in goal setting that involves visual clues, they respond well. However, to reach all people we have to allow people who can to see the object they desire, for people who hear we have to have them hear the object and for those that feel we have to allow them to feel the emotion that having the object would invoke. There is more to seeing something you have to also hear it, smell it, taste it, and feel it.

So what does this mean for the person who wants to motivate someone to take a course of action. It means finding out if the person you are engaged with is a visual, an auditory or a kinesthetic 

• Start your conversation with an when a auditory with this statement "Whatever you think about most often, expands in your life". 
• Start your conversation with a visual with this statement: Whatever you picture about most often, expands into your life". 
• Start your conversation with a Kinesthetic with this statement: Whatever you feel about most often, expands into your life".

The more relaxed you are, the more open your subconscious is to  receive the messages you want to send it.  And if you use the right senses,  in this process, the more of an impact it will have on you.

Let's say that you wanted to buy a new car.  Make your goals smart goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. The meaning of a "new  car" is too vague a term.  What kind of new car do you want?    You need to be absolutely specific.  So you don't want a new car.  You want a brand new, black 2008 BMW 535i sedan with dark gray interior and a 360 horsepower engine and you want it by May 30, 2014, and it will be purchased from money set aside in your savings account and a bank loan, which your excellent credit score will allow you to get easily.

And once you have that decided on the specifics, You are going to see, if you are a visual.yourself walking up to it.  

If you are a Kinesthetic, you are going to feel how smooth and perfect the outer body feels.  You are going to get inside of the car, and smell the leather.  

If you are an auditory, you will hear the sound of the motor and the gasps of amazement from your friends when your drive up to them in your new car. You get the point.

Here's another important characteristic of the subconscious mind: it can't tell the difference between your outer world and your imagination.  Meaning that if you visualize, hear, or feel  an event in great detail and with a lot of emotion, your subconscious mind will believe that it's really happening.  

This is key because once it believes your feeling, hearing, or  visualization to be a fact, it will see, hear, feel the tension when your current outer reality doesn't match up.  It will then go your assistance by sending you ideas, opportunities and motivation to transform your outer world.

Perform this  mind technique once daily, usually sometime in the middle of the day.  We all lead very busy lives and sometimes scheduling the time for focus on your goals  takes some skill.  Be creative because you can do this almost anywhere.  

Postive Attitude

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative.

Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are.

The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts.

When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.Much continued positive attitude success

Develop the mind of equilibrium

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. Develop the mind of equilibrium. You will always be getting praise and blame, but do not let either affect the poise of the mind: follow the calmness, the absence of pride. - Sutta Nipata...

In changing our thoughts we can start to change our view of  the world and ourselves, we cannot through thought change any medical conditions that we have. I have a friend who believes that positive thinking helped her survive cancer, I don't believe that, but she does which is what is important. What is just as important she has continued to trust the medical system to help her beat her cancer. She thought was she was doing was the right thing to do for the people around her. What the difference is that she through her positive attitude has made a difference to people around her in a positive not a negative way and she was right.

Another colleague was faced with have an tumour removed and the odds were only 20% that he would survive the operation, he faced this with a calmness that I thought was amazing. I asked him how he was able to do this. He said that he was a spiritual person, believed in God, and also believed that if he panicked and was sad that would influence the people around him in a negative way. So he chose to be calm and positive, he said it was not easy, but he thought it was the right thing to do.

We make choices everyday about how we face the world and our choices influence those around us, so do we impact those around us with positive or negative energy. Boomers are positive and we see the best in all of us. We are here for a good time not a long time