Ideas for an interesting holiday

I always thought storytelling was a lost art, however it is alive and well and growing, just listen to many of our songwriters and popular songs. We all love a great story, and a great way to sample the incredible diversity of stories and storytellers in the world is to visit one of the growing numbers of story-telling festivals. At these two- or three-day gatherings, hundreds of people-some professionals, some not-take the stage to tell tales. Some of the storytellers at these events are a bit shellacked-in a twangy corn pone kind of way. But you're almost certain to stumble upon some amazing stories and some fascinating people record them. Here are seven of the best festivals.

• Bay Area Storytelling Festival-This weekend of outdoor s telling is one of the best festivals in the western United States
o Where: El Sobrante, California When: May

• Yukon International Storytelling Festival-Now in its seventh decade, this festival features storytellers from the "circumpolar world"-the Yukon, Greenland, Iceland-telling stories u the endless sun of early spring. Some of the participants tell dying stories in dying native languages in an effort to keep those languages alive.
o Where: Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada When: June

• Digital Storytelling Festival-A wonderful gathering with an array of speakers and entertainers using computers and other digital tools to craft compelling tales. (See "Experiment with Digital Storytelling".) The festival was launched by digital storytelling pioneer Dana Atchley, who died well before his time
Where: Sedona, Arizona When: June

• Cape Clear Island International Storytelling Festival-Held on Ireland's southernmost island, this festival attracts an eclectic mix of storytellers from all over the world. Most of the stories are in English, but some are in Irish.
o Where: Cape Clear Island, Republic of Ireland o When: September

• Sharing the Fire, New England Storytelling Conference-One of the oldest regional festivals in the United States, this event draws the best storytellers in the eastern United States.
o Where: Cambridge, Massachusetts  o When: September

• National Storytelling Festival-The granddaddy of American s telling festivals attended each year by more than ten thousand people.
o Where: Jonesborough, Tennessee When: October

Prayer for Grandpa

Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on

grandpa's computer. Amen.

A spring snow joke

I just got off the phone with a friend living in northern Minnesota, near the Canadian border. She said that, since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist-high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near-gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.

Groaners

My thanks to Bev for these

Here are some groaners
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

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2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, ...and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down..You'll just have to be a little patient."

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4. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression -- "He who has a Tate's is lost!"

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5. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.

After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

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6. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census.."

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7. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need to dig a little deeper or get help with this one).
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8. A sceptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."