Portrait of Lotte

This is a very interesting and I think powerful film that shows us how fast life can slip by and also shows that people not things are important. 

The photographer Frans Hofmeester says this:

 I  filmed my daughter every week, from birth up until she turned 12 years old an then made this time lapse edit in FCP. To see the video go here:  http://vimeo.com/40448182

Women: Let’s Talk About Retirement

The 12th Annual Transamerican Retirement Survey published in April 2012 gives some advice and some ideas that may help both women and men who are thinking of retirement, but the advice is more timely for women.

Here are some of the ideas generated by this years survey for more go to the link in the previous paragraph:

Here are five conversation starters for women …

1. Personal decision-making style:

The majority of women (54 percent) seek advice but make their own decisions about saving and investing for retirement, but only one-third (31 percent) indicate that they use a professional financial advisor. Another 29 percent are do-it-yourselves who prefer to do their own research and make their own decisions

How do you get information about saving for retirement and what is your decision-making process?

2. Goal setting and estimating retirement savings needs:

The majority of women (60 percent) "guessed" their estimated retirement savings goal

Do you know how much money you'll need to retire at the age you want to retire?

3. The need for a strategy and written plan including a back-up plan:

Few women (7 percent) have a written plan documenting their retirement strategy and 53 percent have no plan at all; 16 percent have a back-up plan in the event that they are unable to work before their planned retirement

Do you know how you’ll reach your retirement savings goals? What would happen if you lost your job or got sick before your planned retirement age?

 4. Go-to sources for learning about saving and investing for retirement:

The majority of women rely on friends and family, closely followed by a financial planner or broker, financial websites and their retirement plan provider’s website

Who do you talk to or where do you go to learn more about saving and investing for retirement? Why?

For my American friends

5.  Awareness of opportunities like the Saver’s Credit and Catch-Up Contributions:

Few women (22 percent) are aware of the Saver’s Credit and (48 percent) are aware of the ability to make Catch-Up Contributions

Have you ever heard of the Saver’s Credit or Catch-Up Contributions? Do you know if you’re eligible?

 

How each woman ultimately plans on spending her retirement is unique, but the tools to help attain retirement readiness are common to all.

Seven tactics can help women improve their retirement readiness:

1. Calculate your retirement savings needs.
2. Develop a retirement strategy and write it down. Envision your future retirement, formulate a goal for how much you will need to save each year (be sure to include employer-sponsored retirement plans and outside savings), and be sure to factor in living expenses, healthcare needs, long-term care, and government benefits.
3. Get educated about retirement investing. Seek professional assistance if needed. Learn about Social Security and government benefits.
4. If your employer offers a plan, participate. Be sure that your annual salary deferral takes full advantage of employer matching contributions, if available. Defer as much as you can. If you decide against maximizing annual salary deferrals in the plan, be sure to save for retirement outside of work.
5. Consider retirement benefits as part of your total compensation. If your employer doesn’t offer you a plan, ask for one.
6. Take advantage of the Saver’s Credit if eligible. Make catch-up contributions if eligible.
7. Have a back-up plan in the event you are unable to work before your planned retirement.
1. And, get the conversation going by talking about retirement with family and close friends.

Policymakers also should consider the following to help employers and their employees, both women and men, to increase retirement readiness:

1. Pursue legislative and regulatory initiatives to expand retirement plan coverage for all workers including part-time workers:
2. Additional safe harbors for 401(k) and similar plans for purposes of non-discrimination testing
3. Expanding the tax credit for employers to start a plan and facilitating the opportunity of employers to participate in existing plans by implementing reforms to multiple employer plans.
4. Expanding the Saver’s Credit by raising the income eligibility requirements so that more tax filers are eligible.
5. Expanding Catch-Up Contributions by raising limits and lowering the eligible age.
6. Extending the 401(k) loan repayment period for terminated plan participants and eliminating the six- month suspension period following hardship withdrawals.
7. Requiring retirement plan statements to state participant account balances in terms of lifetime income as well as a lump sum

Slovenia

A friend of mine will be travelling to Slovenia in the fall (mid October, to first week in November) with her adult son and I thought I would ask if anyone has any recommendations about where to stay, what to do and what are the must not miss activity or places in Slovenia.
Thanks

New or old life?

As we wandered around the golf course, talking about life, one of my friends started talking about coping with life after the death of a spouse.  Most of my friends have been in long term relationships (over 40 plus years) with their partners and as we age the loss of a life partner is a serious issue for us.  My friends realized that I had to consider this possibility when my wife was    sick few years ago, and were thus interested in my views on the topic.

One friend said," I don't know what I would do." 

"After the mourning you would have a new life", one of my other friends suggested

 "I don't, know if I would because I would still have my old life"  he replied. As we continued to  play golf, we talked about the issue of trying to reconnect to our old selves.

Our golf course wisdom after about 9 holes,  was that after 40 plus years in a relationship a person really were not sure who they really are or want to be because for most of their life, they have been in a partnership and as such the person did not look at life as an individual might. That sense of unease of being uncoupled and the sense of loss would unsettle the journey to find one's self. 

One of my friends went on, "I would still have the same people who depend on me, I would still have the same issues at work, My own personal demons would still be there, but now I would have to fight them on my own. How would I know it is time to move on, sell my home and move on and start a new relationship." 

We were not able to answer that question but as friends we just listened, pretended to think and tried to look wise, and soon the conversation drifted back to the latest shot and how beautiful the day was--(my friends and I look at life's serious issues, but only for very short periods of time,as I think do most men of my age :-). 

The conversation got me thinking about change and renewal after the loss of a spouse. Change is hard and coping with life after the loss of a loved one of many years is not easy. After 30 to 40 years in a relationship, how does one start the process of reconnecting with yourself as a single?  For those of us  in long term relationships we have for 30 years or more have not considered ourselves as a separate entity, our life has been intertwined with another.

Joan P. Hubbard, is the author of The Grieving Self and she believes that those who can reconnect and reconstruct their independent self after severe loss will experience emotional healing more quickly and begin a new path toward a viable life. In her forward Hubbard writes, “Grief is a journey most of us are destined to take. We will experience grief at a loss of our physical parts or the abilities of our bodies to perform, the loss of important relationships (family and friends) through death or attrition, loss of jobs and opportunities…loss of some aspect of what we know to be our self.”

The Grieving Process consists of five steps:
1) Denial
This first step is when we try to deny the death of our loved one, or in this case, our spouse.
2) Anger
You'll probably be angry at your spouse for dying and leaving you. Or, you'll be mad at "the world" because it happened.
3) Bargaining
Bargaining usually is tried with God, or another spiritual being. You may ask what you can do to reverse the loss of your husband or wife.
4) Depression or Sadness
This step of the Grieving Process is self-explanatory. Besides feeling depressed or sad, you may still feel angry.
5) Acceptance
When you've reached this level, you will have accepted the fact that your spouse has died. The feelings of anger and sadness that you've had have begun to ease up.

Here's a tip to help you decide when you are ready to move on, after your spouse dies: if you don't complete these five steps first, you won't be ready. Easy to say, tough to remember if you are in mourning.

You can't start reconnecting to yourself and begin a new life while you're still grieving for your late spouse. Mourning will interfere with beginning any healthy, happy relationships. Mourning is not measured in time, nor is it a sequential journey. Once the mourning has finished then the work or reconnecting can begin. Part of the process of finding a new life, is the discarding of the old, very hard to let go for most. 

Friends are important in the process and true friends will allow for the trial and error that happens as we try to see where we now fit. As we move toward finding out who we now are, we may go through some interesting and (to our friends) strange journeys. I believe that in this journey we will make mistakes, but the journey, the mistakes, are needed to find our balance.