Twenty years from now as you look back

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  Mark Twain

How does this quote shift the way you perceive your world? 

How does this inspire you?  How does it mentor you? 

What does a preschooler need?

My daughter worries whether my grandson is learning everything he needs to know and I am sure she is like all young mothers.  We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn't be a race. This post is from http://magicalchildhood.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/what-should-a-4-year-old-know/

So here, I offer my list of what a a pre-schooler year old should know.

• She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
• He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
• She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
• He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
• She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.

But more important, here’s what parents need to know.

• That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
• That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
• That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
• That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. 

Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important– building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. 

(Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.

That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

And now back to those pre-school skills lists…..

I know it’s human nature to want to know how our children compare to others and to want to make sure we’re doing all we can for them. Here is a list of what children are typically taught or should know by the end of each year of school, starting with preschool.

If there are areas where it seems your child is lacking, realize that it’s not an indication of failure for either you or your child. You just haven’t happened to cover that. Kids will learn whatever they’re exposed to, and the idea that they all need to know these 15 things at this precise age is rather silly. Still, if you want him to have those subjects covered then just work it into life and play with the subject and he’ll naturally pick it up. Count to 60 when you’re mixing a cake and he’ll pick up his numbers. Get fun books from the library about space or the alphabet. Experiment with everything from backyard snow to celery stalks in food coloring. It’ll all happen naturally, with much more fun and much less pressure.

What does a pre-schooler need?

Much less than we realize, and much more than we give

Portrait of Lotte

This is a very interesting and I think powerful film that shows us how fast life can slip by and also shows that people not things are important. 

The photographer Frans Hofmeester says this:

 I  filmed my daughter every week, from birth up until she turned 12 years old an then made this time lapse edit in FCP. To see the video go here:  http://vimeo.com/40448182

Love is (according to some four to eight year olds)

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

("Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy -

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (Now THIS is love!) Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image!) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. pon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

UOP (University of Phoenix Vancouver Campus)

The Vancouver Campus closes its doors today and as with all endings there is opportunity for new beginnings that start with the goodbyes.

I started with the UOP in April of 2000 to help set up and teach in the Faculty of Education Masters of Education program. It was an exciting time, new programs, changes, great people both students and Faculty. Many of the first students in the program were the innovators, willing to try new adventures as were many of the Faculty.  It was exciting to work with and to watch the change in attitude, focus and type of students who I worked with over the last ten years. In the first years the students were mostly innovators, who challenged us and then moved on to other adventures and other new ideas.

As the reputation of the university grew, the early adopters took their place and while they challenged us, they also helped us to create courses, process and procdures that would help them. In the last few years we started to see the early majority start to enrol and we were headed to be the largest post secondary institution for teachers seeking their Masters degree in BC.  Then the UOP had a shift in focus at the National level and we closed.

Most of the first Faculty were, I believe innovators but I was one of the second group hired (the first were hired in 1999 and the second group was hired in 2000). The second group of faculty were a combination of innovators and early adopters and that combination worked well as we were willing to take a chance on a relatively unknown (in BC) University that catered to working adults. Over the next ten years I was fortunate enough to help redefine our program to meet the needs of Canadian (BC) teachers, to help market the program and work with and help to hire and mentor some of the best faculty in education in BC. In 2005, I moved from being a adjunct faculty to being Area Chair for Curriculum and Instruction. I was one of the first people trained in the online teaching (FlexNet) module and helped lead several training sessions on how to teach online.

I loved the opportunity to interact with the teacher leaders of tomorrow and wish them well and from their feedback they enjoyed working with me. Here are two comments received through the end of course surveys from my students.

Royce was extremely hardworking, knowledgeable and very respectful. I think he truly loved what he was doing and really cared about the success of his students.

He definitely knew a lot about curriculum and passed the knowledge to us.

Over the past ten years I have taught over 84 courses with small class sizes and because of that I had the opportunity to work closely with well over 1,000 teachers who are just now starting to move into leadership positions in their schools. I appreciated the opportunity to provide some leadership in education and I look forward to new challenges and opportunities.

Thanks to Darren, Joy, John, Mich, Cathy, and to all of the hard working staff and students who made the last ten years fly by in a blink of an eye.

Golf Easy does it

I am a weekend golfer but once a year my friends and I go off for a week of golf, fun and relaxation. Last year, after the week long tour, my game went from bad to worse. I lost all of the skills sets that I thought I had and for the rest of the summer I golfed as I did when I first started out about 8 years ago. I know that there are many of you who golf on a regular basis and take lessons and golf in the 70's, 80' and 90's. I am no where near those ranges, if I am lucky I can break 105 but usually shot between 105 and 110. Except last year before the tournament I was breaking 100 on a fairly regular basis, (not by much 1 or 2 points) but after the tour I went back to my old habits.

This year I have started out averaging about 102-105 and so I am looking forward to maintaining this range over the summer. I was at the driving range and practising and because I was tired, rather than swinging hard, I relaxed and took 3/4 swings and I found, much to my delight, that the ball went straight and far. I am going to keep working on this idea, the easier you swing, the better the results.

I wonder if this idea can be applied to life, maybe we should try to relax, and go with the flow and remember that there is always beauty or magic in the moment, in any moment and that is the lesson to take away from golf.

Borders and cell phones

Every Saturday when the weather is nice, my friends and I meet in White Rock and then travel across the line to the US to play golf. We do this for a number of reasons, price being one, we can golf at many of the courses across the line for under $20.00 Canadian rather than $50 and up in Canada. Another reason is the courses are never crowded so we don't feel rushed. The Border does present a bit of a problem as none of us have a nexus pass. We have talked about this for about three years, but have not as of yet taken action to apply, but we will soon. Last weekend, there was a cancer fund raiser where about 2500 bikers were biking to Seattle and would be crossing the border about the same time as we were, so when we met at 8:00 am we transferred the clubs to  three cars and drove off. Two in one car, myself and Jim in another car, followed by the other three. Now, for  those of you who have crossed at the truck crossing know that even if you are five minutes behind when you leave, you can be get behind for up to 20 to 30 minutes at the border.

Jim and I made it through and stopped for gas and morning coffee, and decided to wait for the others.  Twenty minutes go by and I decide to phone to see what the delay was with the third car.  The phone was answered and the response was, we are just at the border and should be there soon. We waited another 10 minutes the went to the golf course. A tournament had been scheduled for 10:00 so the four of us who were there went out and golfed before the tournament started.  We met the other three about 2 hours later and heard their story.

If you are at the border, do not answer your cell phone. The guys were just finished answering the border guards questions when the phone rang. As soon as it was answered, the orange card came out and they had to go in for processing. An hour later, they made it to the end of the line. The officer processing them just said, "Have a great day guys, next time don't answer your cell phone"

Lesson learned and hopefully remembered, but at our age that may be a problem.