This is a test for men only and all
"real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions.
However, women will also benefit by reviewing them, so that they get to
understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced
society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token
of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly
sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an
infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the
President of the United States.
B. Present it to the
Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart to see
how it works.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality
of your youthful life do you miss the most?
A. Innocence
B. Idealism
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to
display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope
(but not on the lips)!
C. When he is your brother
and you are Al Pacino and this is the
only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him
killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been seeing a woman for
several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being
with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy.
You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly,
out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but,
she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship
is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only
whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you
say?
A. That you sincerely
believe the 2 of you do have a future, but
you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also
have strong feelings for her, you can't honestly say that you'll be ready
anytime soon to make a lasting commitment,
and you don't want to hurt her by holding
out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe
the Cowboys called a draw play on third
and 17.
6. Okay, so you have decided that you
truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her,
sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do
you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice
restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk
on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes,
you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes
up feeling ill and asks you to get your 3 children ready for school. Your first
question to her is:
A. "Do they need to
eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school
already?"
C. "We have 3 of
them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set
of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the
color of a dead whale and developed new
holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to 8
loosely connected underwear molecules and
has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to
throw away veteran underwear. A real guy
checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, (but this would be his wife)
is quietly trying to discard his underwear.
9. What is the human race's single
greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
10. What, in your opinion, is the most
reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelite's all over the
place for 40 years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to
really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C.
He refused to ask for directions.
