Tuesday, November 27, 2018

On Not Being Stressed Out

The one thing that virtually all of us have in common is the stress of living in this modern age.  So much has changed for my generation since we first enjoyed those days of youth culture when hairstyle and rock music seemed like the most important things in the world.  But, like all generations before us and to come, we had to grow up and take on the responsibilities of raising a family, making a living and figuring out their place in this big complicated world.

Stress comes from a lot of sources.  Obviously, we get it from work.  We think of the workplace as a source of stress because it is a place where making a living is paramount and there are daily demands, deadlines and schedules to be met.  In addition, most of us have to deal with at least some difficult people during our workdays, which only compounds the stress.

But stresses don’t end when we walk out of our workplace.  Traffic itself can be a stress.  Then the joys of raising children and marriage can also bring some trials with them as well.  It is common to return home from a difficult day only to face serious problems at home.  In this situation, it seems that the stress and anxiety just keep mounting up. 

This is not the adult life most of us envisioned in our youth. We were idealistic and the world was our oyster.  But nobody told us that the reason the oyster is so beautiful is that it creates stress on the clam who copes with it by covering it with the smooth oyster material.  So, stress can build us up and make something beautiful.  But it can also tear us down and lead to serious medical and mental problems if we don’t develop some coping techniques to deal with it. 

Some good coping mechanisms that many baby boomers have found helpful to defray the stress in their lives include…

·       Get away from it.  To put the cares of the world in perspective, we have to get away from them for a while.  If nothing else, just soaking in a hot bathtub with a good magazine and some happy music can wash away the cares of the world and let them swirl down the drain with the bubbles.  But look for chances to relax and put those worries aside for a little bit.  It will help you calm your mind, rest your system and be ready to deal with those issues without so much anxiety, which doesn’t do anybody any good.

·       Partner with your family.  Your spouse and children don’t want to see you stressed out.  But sometimes they don’t know how much they add to the problems when they throw the problems of the day at you as soon as you walk through the door.  It’s good for them to see the world through your eyes.  But remember that they are stressed with school or issues of work and relationships too.  So, partner together to have a little time to just be family and love away that anxiety.  Everybody will be better for it.

·       Take time for health.  Its strange but our diet and rest are the things we need the most to cope with stress and yet those are the areas of life that are most damaged if we let stress wear us down.  So, go back to basics and make sure you get good meals, good rest and take care of yourself.  It will make you a better worker and stronger for your family as well.

Seeing stress as a serious enemy to your lifestyle above and beyond the causes of stress is a big step forward to not letting this enemy continue to damage your ability to be a good worker and family member.  But if you act to keep stress from dominating your life, you are doing something very good for yourself and making yourself more able to attack problems and solve them with the creativity and intelligence people know you for.



Monday, November 26, 2018

Did you ever wonder?

The odd thing about inspiration is that it often comes after, not before, a new journey is started.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Happy Birthday on this special day

Happy Birthday to a lady who continues to fill my life with joy. Here are some thoughts to show how I feel

You are just the right age to be a really cool senior citizen.

If I could go back in time, I'd buy your birthday gift the year you were born. It would have been much less expensive then.

Don't worry if your youth seems to be escaping you at your age, you can't expect to catch our grandson all the time.

To be this young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old!

Dance as if nobody is watching,

Love as if you’ve never been hurt,

Live as if there’s no tomorrow

Like a fine vintage wine or a vintage car, 
your value increases over the years
Thank you for being a treasure in my life

Saturday, November 24, 2018

The Average age of a widow or widower

According to Census Canada, the average age of widowhood in Canada is just 56.  For men, the average age of becoming a widower is 65. What's more, a large percentage (43%) of Canadian seniors are single.  In the USA the average age of widowhood is 55, and 75 percent of women will be widowed by the age of 56. 

This is a scary statistic, as more boomers get closer and closer to retirement age, it becomes critical for women to prepare for the impending loss of their partner. And yet, boomers are not prepared for the loss of a spouse. If you do lose a spouse here is some ideas to help you cope and deal realistically with your situation.

Bills come due, even if someone has died, so pay those bills that you get following the death of your spouse. Let the government know your spouse has died so they can send the final tax bill to the executor.

Review your extended health insurance if you have it and examine and contact any life insurance companies you may have a policy with so they can start processing your claim. There may have deadlines, so deal with them quickly.

Don't be rushed into any decisions following the loss of your partner. What seems like a good idea could come back to haunt you after a few years. Find the time and energy to talk with your financial planner, if you do not have one, talk to the bank or close friends for a referral to a planner. 

Some spouses will take on the role of executor of your spouse's estate. If you take on this role, understand the responsibilities you have taken on by being the executor. You need time to process and grieve, leave the details of being the executor of the estate to another person. 

To protect yourself if you chose to be the executor you need to follow these formal steps closely, including the following:

  • Get a Clearance Certificate from Revenue Canada. It will state that all taxes have been paid. While this isn't required it is strongly recommended.
  • You have to also guard or secure against anticipated loss if you make a mistake so it is recommended that you ask the beneficiaries for an indemnification agreement. 
  • Consult a legal representative concerning debt repayment.
  • If you have the knowledge that the estate may not have enough money to pay all debts, don't wait to seek professional advice.

Boomer women need to prepare for being a widow, sooner rather than later according to Census Canada. 

If you have not done so, consider making all accounts jointly held. By having joint access to accounts, assets including your family home (if you own a home) are less likely to be walled off and subject to a lengthy probate process.

Ensure you are aware of all accounts, investments and debts. Keep account numbers and the contact information for your financial advisors and life insurance agents or company handy.

Widows are victims for clever salesmen, frauds, and sometimes, mistaken children. Don't let others convince you to do something or make a decision you are not comfortable with at the time.   There have been times where family members push sensitive buttons in order to influence choices, to try and take advantage of the situation. 

How to handle this?  Remove the temptation by referring discussions over money to your financial planner. They can handle any uncomfortable confrontations concerning money. 

Have you prepared a will, if not do it now? When you create your will, make sure both your will and your spouse's will leave no room for misunderstandings. The last thing your partner wants is for the estate to tear the family apart.



You will have a lot to worry about following the death of your partner; don't let money become one of the issues you have to deal with when your spouse passes. Talk to your partner about your financial situation today, because no matter what is going on today you never know what tomorrow might bring,