Idle musings

THINGS T0 PONDER

1.                     I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert help.

2.                     I don't need help with my anger, people just have to stop pissing me off.

3.                     There is nothing wrong with my social behavior. It’s the idiots that are to blame.

4.                     The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it’.

5.                     When I was little, I saw taking a nap was a punishment. Now I see it as a mini-holiday

6.                     Not even duct tape helps with stupidity, but it does help to muffle the sound.

7.                     Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out three sizes smaller?

8.                     "Getting lucky" means entering a room and remembering what I went in for.

9.                   If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?

10.               Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

11.               Why are you "in" a movie, but “on” TV?

12.               What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

13.               Why do we drive on parkways & park on driveways?

14.               Why do "fat chance" &. "slim chance" mean the same thing?

15.               Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

16.               At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

17.               When does it stop being partly cloudy & start being partly sunny?

18.               When French people swear do, they say "Pardon my English?”

19.               Why do people say “heads up" when you should duck?

19.

Remember these sayings when we were young and coming up with ways to say goodbye in a funny way.

1.            See You Later, Alligator

a.            IN A WHILE, CROCODILE.

2.            Out the door dinosaur.

3.            CHOP CHOP. LOLLIPOP

4.            See you Soon, Baboon.

5.            TAKE CARE POLAR BEAR.

6.            Give a Hug, Ladybug.

7.            IN AN HOUR, SUNFLOWER.

a.            Maybe two, kangaroo,

8.            BETTER SWISH, JELLYFISH

9.            Chow Chow, Brown Cow

10.      BETTER SHAKE, RATTLESNAKE

11.      Bye, Bye, Butterfly

12.      GOTTA GO, BUFFALO

13.      Let's jam, Sam.

14.      BLOW A KISS, GOLDFISH

15.      Be Sweet, Parakeet.

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Golfing Tips

I am a duffer and every time I go golfing with my friends, who are good golfers I get lessons. The lessons have gone on for over 20 years and I am improving but ever so slowly. However, my friends who know the game and have been golfing for over 40 years, love to give me lessons. I listen to what they say and try some and ignore some of their advice.  One of my friends takes lessons and is always full of good ideas. 

When I started playing golf with them, they were golfing in the low 100’s t the low 90’s. I was golfing in the high 120’s to the low 120’s. Over time I have listened and learned well so now I am golfing in the low 100’s to the high 90‘s. They are still golfing in the low 100’s to the low 90’s. This season I have decided not to keep score that way I will have more fun and take the time to enjoy the outing without worry and stress.

I have learned that golf is not something that you can really learn while playing a video game. We have a Wii golf game and when I play it I do really well, shooting (with the computers help par or better) But the reality is learning how to play golf in real life is sometimes complicated and requires that paying close attention to the exact rules and form.  My friends take lessons, I did one year and it set my game back for three years. So while learning from a golf instructor is a wise idea, there are a few mistakes that many of us still tend to make.  Every time I go out, I try to overcome these mistakes to improve my chances of playing a good game of golf and walking away from the green after a successful game with my head held high.

One of the biggest problems that I have is from time to time I look up when I try to strike the ball.  My friends tell me that it is important to always look down until after you have hit the ball.  I have one friend who has eye problems so even if he did look up, which he does from time to time, he can’t see more than 100 yards. So, he never knows where his ball is going to land. Lucky for him we are his eyes and keep track of his ball. My problem is that I get used to watching the flight of the ball and so when I go to hit my ball I look up.

My friends say that to ensure that I stay down until after the hit ensure that I should keep my hips properly rotated. Easier said than done, since my hip replacement I have not yet relearned how to do this.

Additionally, I have been told to ensure that I keep my arms extended fully while swinging. A hint given to me by one of my friends is to count to five after I strike the ball before I look up. Great idea, but I get lost counting and trying to keep my arms extended. I know the counting is to help me pace myself and help me to not look up too quickly.

For over 17 years I have been playing my game by striking the ball to each side of the green, rather than straight ahead. This is a problem caused by many things but it can be corrected with time and patience. After 17 years, I was reminded by my friends that I always need to keep in mind is my stance. I find that if I don’t stand appropriately before I even swing the club, I am not going to have a successful stroke.  I was told analyze my stance before I swing, if I notice that my club is not squarely touching the ball then I back up a bit to ensure that I am not hitting the ball from the side of the club.  Ensuring a solid, square swing will help your ball go to the desired location with a bit of practice, and consistency.

Hooking is an issue but that can be correct as well.  My problem is with my stance that causes my ball to hook. My friends took a close look at my stance, to help me correct this error. I am lucky I have friends who want to share their new found skills from the lessons they take so that I can slowly become better and maybe one day I will move from playing in the low 100’s to high 90’s to playing in the low 100’s to the low 90’s.

Are Golf Shoes Essential to Play Golf?

No, they are not, but I feel more comfortable when I have on my golf shoes. Putting on the shoes gives me a feeling that I am now in golf mode. I don’t play better golf than my friend who does not wear golf shoes, but I feel more like a golfer and that is half the game. One day I may get good enough to think about getting a handicap but that day is far down the road. As for now, I play duffer golf, don’t keep score, enjoy the company and the weather.

As for shoes, most people know, there are shoes for virtually every sport imaginable.  There are very few sports that do not have a special shoe that is intended to improve the way you play while wearing them and gold is no exception if you believe the ads. Many of us wonder if it is really necessary to purchase golf shoes in order to play golf well. 

If you are a highly skilled player or even tend to play quite often, you may need to invest in a good pair of golf shoes.  Typically investing in golf shoes will require you to find a pair of shoes that you are actually thoroughly comfortable wearing.  You need to remember that many golf courses require you to do a lot of walking so you need something that fits comfortably.  Something with plenty of cushioning as well as a good fit is essential.

Taking your time to shop around for golf shoes is a very wise idea.  There are dozens if not hundreds of different colours so sometimes selecting the best colour that you like can be a bit of a hard decision.  In addition, not all shoes are created equally.  The shoe that is best for your foot may not be best for someone else.  In addition, there are numerous different material styles that you can choose from, specifically those that are hard materials or even soft materials.

Choosing the right shoes to play in will ensure that you are comfortable, as well as have the traction that you need while playing.  If you are playing a lot of golf, you will quickly see how a good pair of golf shoes can do wonders to help improve your comfort level. My shoes improve my comfort level but have not yet improved my game. I have never discounted the ability of a pair of shoes to dramatically increase my overall performance during a game but to date, it has not happened, maybe the next time.  Taking the time to really try on several pairs of shoes will ensure your final selection is durable as well as comfortable in a style that you like and enjoy wearing and you will feel like a golfer and you may even play like one. A goal I am still striving for and one day…..

How old guys stay in shape

On this beautiful day in August, here is how one old guy stays in shape. I only wish I had his skills.