YYYYYY Back to sch0ol for kids remember this

A mother gave her 10-year-old a math test today. He spent nearly an hour and used four sheets of scratch paper. He worked on each problem with intense concentration. And then, with a deep breath, he handed it to her to be graded.

She quickly worked my way through the test and calculated his score.

“It’s an 89,” she said, “that’s a high B.”

Immediately, his eyes filled with tears. He had done his best work, given his greatest effort, and had still come up short.

She looked at my boy and back down at his paper. And then ripped it in half. Here is what she said:

I am more concerned with his ability to learn

I am more concerned with the character that we are building than the division facts on the paper.

Our children should be able to show us where they excel, especially in the elementary years.

I was shocked at the pressure he felt to do well on that test. I never imagined the tears of disappointment that would fall. I admire his ambition and his desire to do well.

My boy is amazing in the kitchen. He can cook a meal for the entire family without breaking a sweat.

My boy is incredible at putting things together. He uses tools like a skilled artisan.

My boy is a founding member of the mother/son debate team. (I just made that up) he can persuade me into doing things I never planned to do.

My boy is hilarious. He is always the first one to make a joke at the dinner table.

My boy is a sensitive soul. He’s kind when that sort of thing is necessary.

My boy is diligent. He will work at something until he feels it’s as good as it can be.

When I ripped that paper up, I looked my boy in the eyes and I told him how I had watched him. How I saw him give his best, how he considered each problem and checked each one until he felt it was complete. I watched him erase and rework problems he was unsure of. I watched him pour every bit of effort in his little body into that test. And I told him I had never been more proud.

Children are so much more than test scores. They are so much more than their reading level. They are so much more than the box we try to mold them into.

School is important, and education is important, but it’s not of the highest importance. You should be more concerned with how he treats others, with his level of integrity than with any score on any test.

Final thoughts for now on transitions

It’s common to feel overwhelmed and uncertain when going through a life or work transition. Finding clarity on where you are, where to focus your energy, and what emotions to expect can provide comfort. One way to do this is by creating a personal metaphor for your transition. Metaphors have the power to inspire inner growth and connect us through a shared subconscious language.

Throughout history, certain metaphors have reappeared in literature, including transitioning from a caterpillar to a butterfly, awakening from the dream of reality, and moving from darkness to light. Other metaphors for change include the idea of a hallway, where we wait for new doors to open. It’s a space where we all find ourselves at some point, whether it’s because of a loved one’s death, a child leaving home, a new marriage, or unemployment.

Regardless of the metaphor you choose, making sense of your transition can help you navigate it more effectively and with greater ease. I have friends who use the door metaphor that says when one door closes another opens.

Doors can close in different ways. Some doors slam shut abruptly, such as losing a job, a loved one passing away, or experiencing a sudden illness. Other doors close slowly over time, like preparing for retirement or watching the last child leave home. Regardless of how they close, the door represents a permanent shift in one’s life.

Sometimes, we are the ones who close the door ourselves and step boldly or hesitantly into the hallway. This may involve ending a relationship, moving to a new city, starting a new career, or leaving a job without a backup plan. A significant change and a definitive closure mark the hallway.

At first, this change may feel like a profound loss or a sudden upheaval in life. However, change is the only way to make life better, and sometimes it requires leaving behind what was merely good.

Hallways can appear daunting and intimidating. We may resist them and avoid them, spending more energy than it would take to move through them. But with time, we come to realize that hallways are spaces of transformation and growth, and they often lead to a better and more fulfilling life.

Life is unpredictable and we may find ourselves in difficult and unfamiliar situations, but it’s important to remember that we have the power to create our own experiences and navigate through those challenges. It’s easy to get stuck in the hallway of uncertainty, but it’s essential to embrace change and trust the process of inner transformation. With self-belief, guidance, and support, we can find the courage and strength to open the next door and discover new opportunities and insights. It’s crucial to turn inward and search for clarity and guidance within us, and no matter what believe in yourself. And remember: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always.

More thoughts on Transitions

 As I write this I am in great pain, I injured my shoulder and my hip is acting up and so I am feeling a bit sorry for myself.  So, in the spirit of adventure, to stop feeling sorry for myself, and to keep on a theme  here are some quotes about ageing and the transition to retirement

“Retirement is wonderful. ...

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. ...

“Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living.”

“The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.” – Susan Miller.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”

“You are not too old, and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out its own secret.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

“Transitions are almost always signs of growth, but they can bring feelings of loss.

To get somewhere new, we may have to leave somewhere else behind.” — Fred Rogers

“Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly.” — A modern twist on an old proverb

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” ― Fred Rogers (yes, again)

“My Mission: I’ll stop stressing about the future. Instead, I’ll take that wasted energy and put it into enjoying the present — each day — just a little bit more.”  —Karen Salmansohn

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  — Wayne Dyer

Once you retire, you gain complete control over your time, experience more freedom to travel, can pursue new hobbies, and get the chance to experience a vibrant social life.

This time of transition can be made meaningful and useful. It could become the launching pad for the rest of your life. 

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.”  ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~Sophia Loren

“In the central place of every heart, there is a recording chamber.  So long as it receives a message of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage – so long are you young.  When the wires are all down and our heart is covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, are you grown old.”  ~Douglas MacArthur

“For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.”   ~Hasidic saying

“Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self.”   ~Oprah Winfrey

“One of the reasons people get old—lose their aliveness—is that they get weighed down by all of their stuff.” ~Richard Leider 

and my favourite:

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ~Mark Twain

Lets talk transitions

We are coming up fast to a transition, September 1 is the transition from summer to fall even though the Autumnal equinox is about September 23. This is when our day and night are of equal length, marking the start of autumn. But on September 1st students are thinking about returning to school, farmers are thinking about how they will finish up the fall harvest and people are thinking of fall activities and planning for winter even though the winter solstice is not until December 21 or 22. The winter solstice marks the shortest day of the year, marking the start of winter. But, really, isn’t each new day an opportunity for transition? A chance to start a new habit or stop an old one? Another opportunity to step outside one’s comfort zone and learn something new?

Life is full of transitions. Some are looked forward to and some we fear. Life transitions can be:

· Combining households or welcoming a new baby

· Repurposing “empty nest” rooms

· Moving house (packing, unpacking, staging for sale)

· Dealing with a departed loved one’s belongings

· Setting up an office, or a schedule, to accommodate a career change.

· Downsizing now so loved ones don’t have to do it (as much) for you later

· Being laid off (not retired with benefits) from one career and starting my own business

· Moving from one area (city, province, country) to another

· Experiencing the deaths of friends, family, and beloved pets

· “Losing” those who simply moved away or left whatever group we were in together

· Transitioning in and out of volunteer jobs

· Phasing out hands-on organizing in favour of genealogy research and writing

· Working fewer hours by necessity, but also by design

· Retirement

What is retirement, anyway?

There’s a difference between 20 years of experience, and one year of experience 20 times. I knew people who did the same thing for all of their careers. I was lucky I added new experiences every two or three years. So, when I retired from my job in 2006, I had 40 years of experience doing what I loved. In reality, I never retired from the work I love to do. Some would say I am semi-retired. I am not sure of that designation. What is retirement these days, anyway? Is it when you have “enough money”? When you are “old enough”? When you are too tired or sick to work anymore?

For my parents, retirement looked very different from what it does today for most of the people I know. Sometimes retirement is a life transition so gradual that no one else but you notice it’s happening. Sometimes it is a wake-up call and a forced transition.