Practical Ways for Seniors to Make and Keep Friends 2

Now that you understand why forming friendships in retirement can feel challenging, let’s explore ways to overcome those barriers and build meaningful connections. Friendship in later years is not only possible but also incredibly rewarding.

Rekindle the Three Pillars of Friendship

To rebuild proximity, start by getting involved locally. Whether it’s through a neighbourhood group, a local seniors' center, or a faith community, proximity happens naturally when you see people regularly. For example, places like the Wilson Seniors Advisory Association in Port Coquitlam often host events, activities, and clubs designed for older adults.

Shared life experiences can be cultivated by participating in group activities. Take a class at your local community center or explore organizations like CARP (Canadian Association of Retired Persons). Many centers in Vancouver and surrounding areas offer programs tailored to seniors, from painting to computer skills.

Restoring energy doesn’t mean pushing beyond your limits—it’s about finding activities you enjoy and doing them with others. Whether it’s yoga, a walking group, or even joining a book club, shared enthusiasm fosters connection.

Practical Friendship-Building Ideas

• Explore lifelong learning: Universities like UBC and SFU offer continuing education courses for older adults. These classes can sharpen your mind and introduce you to like-minded people.
• Join interest groups: Whether it’s knitting, gardening, or hiking, Meetup.com and local Facebook groups can connect you to hobby enthusiasts in your area.
• Say yes to invitations: Accepting and extending invitations for coffee or lunch can create a rhythm of regular interactions, leading to deeper bonds.

Online Friendships and Support

Today’s technology has made connecting easier than ever. Platforms like Zoom or apps like Nextdoor can help you meet people virtually before taking the next step of meeting in person. For dating or companionship, try websites like SilverSingles or OurTime, which cater to those over 50.

The Importance of Volunteering

Volunteering is another fantastic way to meet people. Whether it’s mentoring a younger generation, helping at food banks, or volunteering at local hospitals, these activities create shared purpose and connection. In British Columbia, organizations like Volunteer BC or local community centers always welcome seniors who want to give back.

Build Connections While Staying Active

Fitness classes are a fun, low-pressure way to meet others. Many senior centers offer low-impact activities like water aerobics, tai chi, and walking clubs. For something adventurous, consider joining groups like the Vancouver Outdoor Club for Women.

Travel and Exploration

If you have the means, travel can open doors to friendships. Group tours specifically for seniors often create bonds over shared experiences. Companies like ElderTreks or local travel groups can help you connect with fellow adventurers.

A Final Thought

Loneliness doesn’t have to define your retirement years. By taking small steps to rebuild the three pillars of friendship—proximity, shared life experiences, and energy—you can create meaningful, lasting connections. Along the way, you’ll find not only new friends but also a renewed sense of purpose and joy.

For additional support and resources, check out these Canadian organizations:

• Better at Home (www.betterathome.ca): Provides support for seniors looking to connect and live independently.
• The Seniors Services Society of BC (www.seniorsservicessociety.ca): Offers programs and housing support for older adults.
• CARP (www.carp.ca): Advocacy and community-building for Canadians 50+.

Building friendships as a senior takes effort, but it’s worth it. With an open heart and a willingness to engage, you’ll discover the joy of connection that enriches every aspect of life.

 

Building Friendships in Retirement—Understanding the Foundations 1

I live on the outskirts of Vancouver and might know the city's reputation for being friendly but reserved. Many newcomers describe it as a place where forming deeper connections can be challenging. It’s a sentiment that resonates across Canada, especially as adults and seniors find themselves in new life stages where making friends doesn’t come as easily as it did in school days.

But why is it harder to make friends as we age? One explanation is the three key pillars of friendship: proximity, shared life experiences, and energy.

The Three Pillars of Friendship

Proximity refers to how physically close you are to others. When you live near someone or see them regularly, such as a neighbour, you're more likely to develop a friendship. For example, college dorm studies show students living across the hall have a 90% chance of becoming friends, while those at opposite ends of the dorm have only a 10% chance.

Shared life experiences, or "life cycle timing," is another essential pillar. Think back to your school years—you and your peers moved through life together. From classrooms to shared milestones like exams, sports, and parties, you were aligned in your life journey.

Finally, energy is the glue that binds these pillars together. It reflects shared enthusiasm for activities or interests, whether it's cheering for a sports team, dancing, or simply enjoying a regular coffee outing.

As young adults, these pillars align naturally. But in our late 20s and beyond, life begins to scatter us. Careers, marriages, children, and moves all challenge the stability of these connections. By retirement, the situation can feel even more fragmented.

Why Seniors Struggle to Form Friendships

For seniors, the barriers to making friends can feel even higher. Proximity might shrink as we become less mobile or live alone. Energy for activities may diminish due to health concerns. Shared life experiences can also feel out of sync—perhaps one senior is managing a chronic illness or caring for a spouse, while another is focused on leisure activities or grandchildren.

This loss of connection isn’t just emotional; it can affect your health, too. Studies have shown that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of conditions like heart disease, stroke, and even dementia. Seniors with strong social ties, however, often enjoy better physical and mental health, longer lives, and more positive outlooks.

Understanding these pillars and their challenges is the first step toward fostering new friendships in retirement. The good news is that there are many ways to rebuild these connections, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Feeling low, try volunteering to cheer you up.

 Volunteering benefits not just the organizations and people being helped but also the volunteers themselves. Research shows that volunteering can improve social connections, mental well-being, physical health, and overall quality of life. These benefits are particularly strong for older adults, who often experience increased purpose and reduced loneliness through volunteering. Helping others, participating in community programs, or engaging in environmental projects can contribute to better mental and physical health and even a longer life.

For retirees or those considering retirement, volunteering can be an excellent way to stay active, meet new people, and make a meaningful impact. Whether you choose to volunteer regularly or occasionally, the sense of accomplishment and connection that comes from giving back can boost your confidence and bring a sense of fulfillment.

Volunteering is part of what’s known as “social prescribing.” This approach connects people with activities and services in the community that help address social or emotional challenges, such as isolation or a lack of purpose. By engaging in volunteering through social prescribing, individuals can improve their well-being while contributing to their communities.

Volunteering is flexible, so you can choose something that suits your interests and schedule. Whether it's lending a hand in civic projects, environmental conservation, or educational programs, every effort counts. Beyond helping others, volunteering allows you to stay engaged with life, grow personally, and even discover new passions. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

Should I borrow from my retirement fund to pay down debt?

The question of whether to use your retirement savings to pay off debt is a critical one, especially for those who are retired or approaching retirement. It’s a decision that requires a balance between immediate financial relief and long-term security. Here’s what you need to know to make an informed choice, keeping your financial health and retirement happiness in mind.

The global financial landscape has shifted significantly in recent years, partly due to the lasting impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. Many countries, including Australia, Chile, and South Africa, have introduced policies allowing people to access portions of their retirement savings to ease financial strain. While these measures may provide relief, they also highlight a dilemma faced by many: should you dip into your retirement savings to manage debt?

Except for owning a home our retirement funds are often the largest savings we have, especially for low- to middle-income earners. This can make these funds a tempting option when debt feels overwhelming. In fact, studies show that a significant percentage of people use retirement withdrawals to cover expenses like car payments, home costs, or short-term debt. However, the decision to use retirement savings for debt repayment isn’t one-size-fits-all—it depends on your unique financial situation, goals, and habits.

Debt with high interest rates, especially unsecured loans like credit card debt, can take a toll on your finances. At the beginning of most loan repayment periods, a large portion of your payments goes toward interest rather than reducing the principal amount. This means the longer the debt lingers, the more you pay overall. Using your retirement savings to pay off high-interest debt can potentially save you thousands of dollars in interest and shorten the repayment period.

Short-term loans and unsecured debts are particularly costly because they lack collateral, making them riskier for lenders and more expensive for borrowers. By paying off these types of debt, you can free up cash for other uses and even improve your credit score. However, this strategy is most effective if paired with a clear plan to avoid falling back into debt.

Using retirement savings to settle debt should be part of a broader financial strategy. Once the debt is gone, think about how you can use the freed-up cash to strengthen your financial position. For example, you might focus on rebuilding your savings, investing in assets, or setting aside funds for future needs. On the other hand, if you continue to accumulate debt after withdrawing from your retirement funds, it can lead to a cycle that undermines your financial stability.

Without changes in borrowing behaviour, tapping into retirement savings to pay off debt can leave you worse off. You not only miss potential growth from your retirement investments but also risk needing to work longer or reduce your standard of living in retirement.

Consider the long-term consequences carefully. If you withdraw $30,000 from your retirement savings at age 35, that amount could grow to over $200,000 by age 55, assuming a 10% annual return. Frequent withdrawals can significantly erode your nest egg, forcing you to work beyond your planned retirement age or make other financial sacrifices.

Additionally, remember that withdrawals from retirement savings are typically subject to taxes, which can further reduce the amount available for debt repayment.

Before using your retirement savings, it’s crucial to reflect on the habits that led to the debt. Are you paying only the minimum due on loans while continuing to borrow? Are you using one form of debt to service another? Addressing these patterns is essential to prevent future financial stress. Otherwise, dipping into your retirement funds may become a temporary fix rather than a sustainable solution.

The decision to use retirement savings to pay off debt is not just about numbers—it’s about your overall financial well-being. It requires careful consideration, planning, and, ideally, guidance from a financial advisor. By weighing the immediate benefits against the long-term consequences, you can make a choice that aligns with both your current needs and your retirement goals.

Retirement savings represent years of hard work and planning. Treat them with the care they deserve, and ensure that any decision to access them is made with your future self in mind if you are not sure, talk to your financial advisor.