Tribes and the need to belong.

As we navigate through adolescence, the imperative of forming social connections becomes pronounced. We all have a need to be part of a Tribe. This natural human need for belonging takes center stage during the formative years of growing up. Many of us maintain ties with individuals who once comprised our social circles in school, exemplified by the enduring connections fostered in high school or university. The significance of these relationships becomes evident in activities like attending school reunions or staying in contact with long-time friends.

We readily forge social bonds, resisting the dissolution of existing connections. The impact of belonging on emotional well-being and cognitive processes is profound. The absence of social connections is associated with adverse effects on health, adjustment, and overall well-being. The criteria for a satisfying relationship, emphasizes the need for frequent, positive interactions within a stable and enduring framework of mutual concern.

Belongingness continues to wield its influence as a driving force throughout our lives. Cognitive elements contribute to this need because many of us categorize information in relational terms. The cognitive representations of self and partner intertwine in close relationships, influencing the processing of information about one another. Emotions play a pivotal role in relationship dynamics, with the joy of forming connections contrasting starkly with the negative emotions stemming from exclusion or relationship breakdown.

Happiness, it appears, is intricately linked to the quality and quantity of relationships. Contrary to the belief that material wealth brings happiness, the heart lies in being part of fulfilling and stable relationships. Exclusion from groups or relationship dissolution triggers negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, and jealousy. Loneliness, a chronic state that transcends mere social isolation, underscores the necessity of enduring connections to fulfilling the need to belong.

Researchers have documented the tangible impact of belonging on physical health. Married individuals generally experience better health, longevity, and mental well-being compared to their single, divorced, or widowed counterparts. The detrimental effects of loneliness on health are evident, with lonely individuals more prone to common illnesses and weakened immune systems. Troubled relationships during childhood are linked to conditions like eating disorders in adulthood, emphasizing the long-term repercussions of early social dynamics. Even in the realm of mental health, veterans with robust social support exhibit lower susceptibility to post-traumatic stress disorder.

In essence, the quality of life and longevity are intricately tied to the sense of belonging fostered by supportive and caring relationships. From adolescence to retirement and beyond, the need to belong remains a fundamental aspect of the human experience, shaping our emotional well-being, cognitive processes, and physical health.

Tribes.

I read in Sightings over 60 the blog post https://sightingsat60.blogspot.com/2023/11/how-not-to-be-cool.html and was struck by this statement in the blog, “So they asked me, is there a tribe where you say,  "Gee, I wish I could join that group."

The answer given was “The question made me chuckle. Because my answer is definitely: "No."

Groucho Marx once famously quipped, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member," a sentiment that echoes my own perspective. During my school days, I never identified with any particular group; I wasn't a star athlete (but I was a good one), an academic standout (although I placed on the honour roll usually three terms out of four), or part of the popular crowd but I had school friends. My social circles extended beyond the classroom. Outside of school, I spent weekends with another set of friends, all while maintaining a strong connection with my family, my primary tribe.

As I navigated through life, I, like all of us, found myself a member of various tribes—work groups, family units, recreational circles, and friendship networks. Interestingly, acceptance into these groups was often spontaneous, and I never felt the need to actively seek or maintain membership. Upon retirement, I experienced a shift in my tribal affiliations. Some connections were lost, but new tribes emerged.

In reflection, it seems that retirees, myself included, may find themselves part of multiple tribes. However, this concept isn't exclusive to retirees; throughout our lives, we naturally gravitate toward different tribes for various reasons. Personally, I've cultivated my golf group and connected with senior Board colleagues. Additionally, my wife and I have a circle of friends. These diverse tribes fulfill different aspects of my social and emotional needs, creating a rich tapestry of connections that enhance my overall sense of belonging and fulfillment. What tribe or tribes do you belong to now you have retired?

Do you have the will to believe or the will to doubt?

Bertrand Russell said, "William James used to preach the “will to believe. I should wish to preach the “will to doubt.” None of our beliefs are quite true; all have at least a penumbra of vagueness and error. The methods of increasing the degree of truth in our beliefs are well known; they consist in hearing all sides, trying to ascertain all the relevant facts, controlling our own bias by discussion with people who have the opposite bias, and cultivating a readiness to discard any hypothesis which has proved inadequate"

William James and his notion of the "will to believe" reflect a pragmatic approach to belief and action. James argued that in situations where evidence is lacking or inconclusive, individuals have the right to choose to believe in something if it leads to positive outcomes or makes their lives more meaningful. This idea is closely tied to the concept of pragmatism, emphasizing the practical consequences of beliefs.

On the other hand, the counterargument, presented by the "will to doubt," aligns with a more skeptical and critical stance. Here, doubt is seen as a valuable tool for refining our understanding of the world. The belief that none of our beliefs are entirely true acknowledges the inherent uncertainty and fallibility of human knowledge. This perspective suggests that fostering doubt can lead to a more accurate and nuanced understanding of the world.

Many schools of thought support the "will to doubt". The scientific method is a prime example of the "will to doubt." Scientists constantly question and test hypotheses, subjecting them to rigorous scrutiny. Through experimentation and peer review, scientific knowledge evolves, and incorrect or incomplete theories are discarded in favor of more accurate ones.

The education system often emphasizes critical thinking skills. Encouraging students to question information, analyze evidence, and consider alternative perspectives fosters a healthy skepticism. This approach helps individuals develop a more nuanced and informed worldview.

In democratic societies, a healthy skepticism is crucial for informed decision-making. Citizens need to question information presented by politicians, the media, and other sources to make well-informed choices. A population that engages in critical thinking contributes to the health of a democracy.

On a personal level, the "will to doubt" can be essential for intellectual and emotional growth. Being open to questioning one's own beliefs and biases can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

In fields like technology and innovation, doubting the status quo and challenging existing paradigms drive progress. Innovators and inventors often question established norms, leading to breakthroughs and advancements.

The "will to believe" may be pragmatic in certain situations, the "will to doubt" underscores the importance of skepticism and critical thinking in refining our understanding of the world. Both perspectives, when applied carefully, contribute to a balanced and informed approach to belief and knowledge.

Additional forms of communication to gain of give understanding

In my last post I talked about how we communicate to gain understanding.  We employ a wide array of communication forms to gain understanding, connect with others, and express themselves. Here are a few additional forms of communication we use  to gain understanding and information.

Nonverbally

Body Language: Gestures, facial expressions, posture, and other nonverbal cues can convey a wealth of information and emotions without the need for words.

Eye Contact: The way people make eye contact can convey sincerity, confidence, or even discomfort. It's a powerful nonverbal form of communication.

Visually

Painting, Drawing, and Sculpture: Visual arts are a powerful means of communication, allowing individuals to express complex emotions, tell stories, or convey abstract concepts through images and symbols.

Photography: Capturing moments in time through photographs is a way to communicate emotions, experiences, and perspectives visually.

Performce

Dance: Dance is a form of expression that transcends language. It can convey emotions, cultural traditions, and stories through movement.

Theater: Acting and stage performance are powerful tools for storytelling and conveying a wide range of emotions and ideas.

Digitally

Emojis and GIFs: In the era of digital communication, emojis and GIFs are used to add emotional nuance to written text, helping to convey tone and sentiment.

Social Media: Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook enable individuals to share thoughts, experiences, and emotions through text, images, and videos.

Scientifically 

Graphs and Charts: In scientific and technical fields, visual representations such as graphs and charts are used to convey complex data and trends efficiently.

Technical Writing: Clear and concise writing is crucial in fields where precise information needs to be communicated, such as manuals, reports, and academic papers.

Symbolically 

Flags and Symbols: Flags represent nations, and symbols can convey cultural, religious, or political meanings. These visual cues communicate identity and values.

Logos: In branding and marketing, logos are designed to convey the essence of a company or product in a simple and memorable way.

Intuitively

Intuition and Empathy: Sometimes, understanding comes through intuition and empathy, where individuals pick up on subtle cues and emotions to connect with others on a deeper level.

These various forms of communication highlight the richness and diversity of expression. They demonstrate that understanding can be gained through channels beyond traditional language, emphasizing the multifaceted nature of how we connect and share our experiences.