Fall is for playing

My daughter posted a short video of my grandson playing in the leaves that had been raked into a pile. He sat in the middle of the leaves, then started to examine them and throw them into the air. He laughed with delight as the leaves fell on him. 

Mom and Dad were calling his name to get him to look into the camera, but he was too absorbed in the colours, textures and rhythm of the leaves floating to the ground. Each time they landed he threw them up again, laughing.

Fall is a wonderful, and watching Ryder play reminded me of why I love the fall.

Where to live after retirement

"I am a good wife?" she asked, and I nodded in agreement. We had been discussing retirement options that her and her husband had been considering. 

His dream was to live in Central BC, in the lakes and beautiful, but isolated area--isolated meaning a small population not near a major city. She was not quite ready to retire but thought that they could buy a place while retaining their place in the lower mainland. 

The bank had approved the increase in the line of credit so they could afford to buy the property. He was quite happy with the decision, she was not sure.

After our conversation, I thought about the answer I had given, and realized that although I had given an answer she expected I had given an easy answer to a complex question. What was important was the question, why did she feel a need to ask it, what dynamic was at play, I should have asked more questions rather than nod and move on in the conversation.

Relationships are difficult and require give and take on both sides. Like most men, I think her husband had talked to her about the idea of moving and how it was his dream, and I think rather than really listening to her concerns, which she had raised, he had only heard her agreement with the idea that it was a good dream.

It was however a dream that she really did not share--at this time--so more discussion has to take place and she has to be more assertive in her position, and he has to listen to her concerns and put his dream against the reality of what she wants. After that discussion maybe they will still move away, or maybe they will find a compromise. My hope is they find a compromise.

Two cups of coffee a day cuts overall risk of dying

I love my coffee, so I was excited about the following article that shows that drinking coffee in moderation may help you live longer.

As I read the article, I wondered if two cups of coffee cut your risk of dying by 10% would twenty cups of coffee a day cut your risk by 100%. But no such luck, the research shows that drinking coffee in moderation is best and that coffee is only one factor in longevity.

Starbucks and Tim Hortons could use this as a way of getting more seniors into their coffee shops. (Slogan suggestion: Drink Coffee--live longer or some variation on this theme, I am sure there are brighter, copy writers out there that could come up with some very fancy lines)

Two cups of coffee a day cuts overall risk of dying by 10 percent, research shows

By  CBS News Staff  published May 17, 2012 11:24 AM

(CBS/AP)  How good is coffee for your health? For years, research has gone both ways, with some studies finding it boosts risk for heart disease, while other studies find it could be protective against breast and skin cancers.

A large-scale study of 400,000 people offers good news for coffee-drinkers: you might just live longer.

The study is the largest ever done on the issue, and the results should reassure any coffee lovers who think it's a guilty pleasure that may do harm. And whether it's regular or decaf doesn't even matter.

"There may actually be a modest benefit of coffee drinking," said lead researcher Neal Freedman of the National Cancer Institute.

The study, published online in the May 16 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, kicked off in 1995 and involved 402,260 AARP members ages 50 to 71 who lived in California, Florida, Louisiana, New Jersey, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and Atlanta and Detroit. People who already had heart disease, stroke or cancer weren't included in the study, nor were extreme eaters who ate too many or too few calories per day. The rest gave information on coffee drinking once, at the start of the study.

"People are fairly consistent in their coffee drinking over their lifetime," so the single measure shouldn't be a study limitation, Freedman said.

Of the participants, about 42,000 drank no coffee. Most people had two or three cups each day, and about 15,000 reported drinking six cups or more a day.

By 2008, about 52,000 of the participants had died. Compared to those who drank no coffee, men who had two or three cups a day were 10 percent less likely to die at any age. For women, it was 13 percent. Even a single cup a day seemed to lower risk by 6 percent in men and 5 percent in women.

The strongest effect seen in the study was in women who had four or five cups a day - an impressive 16 percent lower risk of death. In general, coffee drinkers were less likely to die from heart or respiratory disease, stroke, diabetes, injuries, accidents or infections. No effect was seen on cancer death risk. None of the risk reductions were big numbers though, and Freedman can't say how much extra life coffee might buy.

"I really can't calculate that," especially because smoking is a key factor that affects longevity at every age, he said
For more on this research go here

Fear of Change

 People facing unexpected challenges in their lives often experience a great deal of fear, helplessness, and hopelessness, or they have anxiety of the unforeseeable outcome of surviving the challenging event which can lead to feelings of powerlessness and being out of control. In some cases people crumble under the challenge of surviving in every dimensions of their lives: physical, emotional and Spiritual The following is taken from Jamesjimessina.com

To help a person survive sudden change or an unexpected challenge I want to talk about spirituality. This is at one level, the way in which people understand their lives in view of their ultimate meaning and value. Many people also believe that spirituality gives a person a sense of peace, purpose, and connection to others, and gives meaning to the beliefs one has about the meaning of life. At a higher level Spirituality is a universal concept found in all cultures considered to encompass a search for existential or ultimate meaning through religion or other paths

People facing unexpected challenges or changes, often wonder about concerns related to:

·         Control – How can I retain control in my life?

·         Identity – Just who am I and who will I be once I go through this challenge in my life?

·         Relationships – What will my relationships be like once I go through this challenge in my life?

·         Meaning – What is the meaning of my life now that I am facing this unexpected challenge in my life?

In his groundbreaking work Man’s Search for Meaning-An Introduction to Logotherapy (Frankl, 1963) Frankl, who survived life in a concentration camp in which he lost all of those people he loved, gave us an insight into the spiritual issues faced by people challenged by the unexpected in life:

1.    “That which does not kill me, makes me stronger”-Nietzsche quoted by Frankl

2.    “Suffering will not destroy humans; rather suffering without meaning destroys”

3.     Love "is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire."  (1963, pp. 58-59)

4.    "Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation."   (1963, p. 68)

5.    "...everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."  (1963, p. 104)

6.    “(T)here is also purpose in that life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior:  namely, in man's attitude to his existence, and existence restricted by external forces....  Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.”  (1963, p. 106)

7.    Man "can only live by looking to the future." (1963 , p. 115) 

8.    "The prisoner who had lost faith in the future -- his future -- was doomed." (1963, p. 117)

9.    “He who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how." (Friedrich Nietzsche, quoted in 1963, p. 121)

10. "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." (1963 , p. 172)