Ever lost track of time?

Did you ever lose your sense of time, and become so disoriented you had no idea what day or time it really was?   My wife came into the living room at 9:00 pm after lying down with a headache at about 7:30 pm. She said to me, how could you let me sleep in so late, we have lots to do today. I looked at her and said, "It is still in the evening, you have only been asleep for about an hour." It took her a few minutes to realise that she had not slept through the night. We laughed, but I wondered if this happens to many of us.

I found out that as we age, our capacity to judge time accurately diminishes. Most people begin to perceive time as passing more swiftly than is actually the case.

This for many of us is a minor annoyance, but for some, this could be a warning sign of dementia.  There are five warning signs of dementia and one of them is Losing Track of Time or Place – Dates, seasons and the general passing of time becomes difficult to keep track of for a person with dementia. If an event is not happening immediately, he or she may have trouble understanding it. This is the category of the most renowned dementia-related complication — forgetting where they are and/or how they got there.

So, if a person suffers from a sense of time loss, and it continues then seeking medical attention is a good idea, but if you fall asleep and wake up disoriented and out of time, once in a while, put it down to having a people's moment.

Do you pass judgement on others?

People pass judgement. It's what we do. All of us. It's a built-in, primaeval mechanism designed to keep us safe. We're constantly judging and evaluating every situation and person to see if they pose a threat to us.

Below the surface, people tend to judge others based on their own fears. When we look at someone for the first time we see a reflection of our past experiences and associations. It could be from their body language or the way they dress and behave. It is insightful to be aware of how our past can affect our present thoughts about someone else. This helps us spot clues to false or premature judging.

Some say we judge others because of body chemicals. Serotonin is one of them and it is the one that makes us feel worthy, desired and respected (among other things). We are always craving it because it feels like a million bucks. Our ancestors had learned that social dominance and respect leads to food and better mating opportunities. Now our limbic system is still programmed to release Serotonin when we feel dominant and respected among others. But it also releases Cortisol, the stress hormone when we feel undesirable and in a lower social standing compared to others. 

Cortisol makes us unhappy and urges us to do something about it. Now what we do with these chemicals is decided by the wiring of neurons in out cortex. These wirings are built by your life experiences and they decide our actions to different situations. But the primary goal is to get rid of Cortisol and get more happy chemicals.

Now when we judge others, we are trying to get rid of Cortisol by finding faults with their claims on social dominance and embolden our claim. Our judgement might release Serotonin and mask the Cortisol. If we do it regularly our neurons get wired very strongly to do it and this becomes the natural response even if doesn't make us happy or actually releases more Cortisol. It is very hard to rewire our neurones to act differently, so people keep doing this forever even if it makes them more stressed and gets them into a vicious cycle.

So, while we are aware of some of these judgements, and others are at an unconscious and deeply basic level we become prisoners of our own chemistry when we try to break our habit of being judgemental.

The reason I bring this up is to help you understand that no matter what you do in life, people will judge you because they too are at the mercy of their body chemicals. We cannot control others who judge us, but we can control our reactions to their judgement. The more we allow those judgements to impact us, the more we are going to be hurt and upset.  It is hard but try to remember that their judgement is more about them than it is about you. 

So... if you're going to be judged, why not be judged for doing what you want?

Scripture cautions us not to be harsh and judgmental of others' faults, even where they are evident because neither are we perfect and free from error. The admonition not to regard the speck in your neighbour's eye before removing the log from your own eye finds parallels in many scriptures. Rather than justify ourselves and blame others, we should look into ourselves for having such feelings of resentment.

Here are some other quotes about judgement from world religions that may help you control your impulse to judge:

Christian: “In the same way you judge others, you will be judged. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your neighbour’s eye? First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your neighbour’s eye.” (Matthew 7:2-5)

Hinduism. Garuda Purana 112 says:  Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

The book of Leviticus in the Hebrew Bible contains codes of laws and other precepts, including statements concerning judging others: ...do not favour the poor or show deference to the rich; judge your neighbour fairly...You shall not hate your kinsman in your heart. Reprove your neighbour, but incur no guilt against your kinsfolk. Love your neighbour as yourself: I am the LORD. [19:16-17]

African Traditional Religions. Buji Proverb (Nigeria): Easily seen are others' faults, hard indeed to see are one's own. Like chaff, one winnows others' faults, but one's own one hides, as a crafty fowler conceals himself by camouflage. He who sees others' faults is ever irritable--his corruptions grow. He is far from the destruction of the corruptions.

Buddhism. Dhammapada 252-53: Happy is the person who finds fault with himself instead of finding fault with others.

Islam. Hadith:  If you want to criticise someone, first criticise yourself more than three times.

Unification Church. Sun Myung Moon, 9-30-69: Confucius said, "The gentleman calls attention to the good points in others; he does not call attention to their defects. The small man does just the reverse of this."

Confucianism: Analects 12.16: Confucius said, "The good man does not grieve that other people do not recognise his merits. His only anxiety is lest he should fail to recognise theirs."

Confucianism: Analects 1.16 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; as it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God.  So each of us shall give account of himself to God.

Some days are better than others

Funding your retirement

A recent Equifax study that found seniors’ debt levels increased 6.1 percent in 2016 versus the national average of 3.1 percent, adding the average senior now carries about $16,000 in debt.

We have a different mentality when we compared retiring to today to the experience of past generations. To that end, a lot of seniors — and, for that matter, folks saving for retirement — could use the help.

It used to be that if you had a house, it was paid off before going into retirement, but today it’s becoming more common for people to have a mortgage or line of credit going into retirement.

Natixis Global Asset Management, one of the largest wealth management firms in the world, conducts an annual survey of investors. Here’s the snapshot of its findings for Canadian investors.

·  Personal savings and investments are most important retirement funding source:

·  97 percent indicated personal savings and investments were important.

·  77 percent indicated family sources would be important, too, including inheritance, their spouse, and even their children.

·  74 percent said government programs would be important.

·  54 percent would rely on the sale of their home or business.

Planning for retirement:

·  77 percent have a general figure in mind for how much they will need to save for retirement.

·  60 percent know how much income they need annually to fund their desired lifestyle in retirement.

·  Most Canadians feel it is increasingly their responsibility to fund their own retirement:

·  78 percent feel funding retirement is increasingly their responsibility.

·  32 percent don’t believe government benefits will still be available when they retire.

Not saving enough is the biggest threat:

·  30 percent indicated they worried about not saving enough.

·  18 per cent worried about long-term and health-care costs.

·  14 per cent worried about inflation.

·  13 per cent concerned government pension wouldn’t cover their expenses.

·  12 per cent feared to outlive assets.

·  Seven per cent worried about investment returns not measuring up.

·  Five per cent worried about the death of a spouse.

Canadians are feeling increasingly on their own when it comes to saving for retirement and then managing their money once retired. Only six in 10 had a clear picture of how much they need annually to fund their desired lifestyle in retirement.

Already many seniors are struggling it is a growing problem; the financial health of seniors is not getting better. It’s getting worse. A recent Equifax study that found seniors’ debt levels increased 6.1 percent in 2016 versus the national average of 3.1 percent, adding the average senior now carries about $16,000 in debt.The recent World Economic Forum report on the pension gap globally in which the world’s six largest pension-saving nations, Canada included, face a $224-trillion retirement income shortfall (that is funding retirement to about 70 per cent of income while working) by 2050, dwarfing global GDP.

So, while the seniors of today are facing challenges making their money last, the problems are only going to get worse for generations that follow.

Equally worrying is the potentially costly and difficult-to-predict late stages of retirement, which can have steep health-care costs or require specialized living arrangements.

Retirees could face fewer choices when facing major life changes as a result of failing health if they have outlived their savings and can only rely on Old Age Security or Canada Pension. While long-term care and home care are insured services in Canada, additional savings are critical if individuals want additional care beyond the basic coverage provided by the public system, which will be increasingly stressed by the growing number of senior’s relative to the rest of the population.

Preparing for all outcomes — good and bad — is essential. Holistic retirement planning is especially critical for generations still saving for retirement because of the lack of job security, decreased access to workplace pensions and growing financial complexity they generally face. Ultimately, we’re responsible for our own financial destiny, so we need to make plans now.