Speak to the highest in them

Whenever conferring with another- either face to face or across the miles - whether a human being, departed spirit, or sentient tree, always speak to the highest within them. 

It makes such a difference.

Boomers, Defining Marriage All Over Again

Marriage is a funny thing.  How you view it is drastically different if you are a teenager or youth with stars in your eyes compared to your vision of marriage when you have been ensconced in the practice for 20-30 years and looking toward a life in retirement as a married couple.  Baby boomers have experienced every aspect of marriage from that early idealistic stage through divorces, various redefinitions of marriage and now taking their marriages into their retirement years.  It may be that this next transition of marriage will bring as many changes to that special relationship as any that have gone before.

How you view marriage as you move toward your retirement years without a doubt depends on how marriage has gone for you over the decades.  If marriages are rocked with difficulty, separations, and other woes, retirement can bring a new dimension to that tension.  On the other hand, part of the commission of retirement is to begin to seek resolution of life’s struggles so working together with each other in the context of marriage can bring tremendous healing in this phase of life.

Each era of life seems to bring a new opportunity to define marriage and how it will be an important part of life.  When the baby boomer generation became parents, the shift was notable as retailers responded to their emphasis on being good moms and dads and away from youthful issues to some extent.  Then as baby boomers moved through parenting and into the empty nest phase of life, that seemed to bring as many challenges as when that nest filled up with children decades before.

There is no question that real life in the context of a very real and functional marriage, even with the problems that it brings is also a huge resource for us throughout life’s journey.  While sometimes the romance can escape from the marriage relationship if life brings struggles and as our bodies go through changes, that partnership and intimacy of a relationship is an incredible resource for coping with the big changes all baby boomers have had to face over the years.

This is the good thing about hanging in there with that marriage until you get to the stage of life most baby boomers are moving toward in this decade.  The things that can rob a marriage of romance during the working part of your married years are the coming of children, the hard work of raising them, keeping a career moving forward in the tough business settings we have experienced in the last three decades and seeing your own relationship evolve under that kind of “pressure cooker” environment.  

But a significant amount of those pressures begin to lift when you are able to perhaps scale back the work life, enjoy the fruits of your labors and let the kids get out on their own.  So that side of the pre-retirement years can actually be a fertile setting for a new romantic life between husband and wife to spring up.  Many couples, as they leave the world of parenting behind, experience such late in life romantic rebirths.  And this kind of late springtime in your relationship with your long-time spouse can bring the birth of new creativity in many parts of your life making it one of the happiest phases of life for you and your husband or wife.

A marriage gets tested throughout youth and middle age and marriages that survive do so because of mutual support and the ability to accept the other member of the marriage and compromise.  Since these traits will be well established in your relationship as you move into your fifties and sixties together, they will be a continuous resource to you as you face retirement issues, dealing with being a grandparent and being wise counsel for children who are facing life’s struggles for the first time.

But baby boomers should not be surprised if they see their marriages continue to change, grow and mature in new directions as each partner explores this phase of life for the first time as well.  A marriage is a living thing so we can take joy from seeing it become something new each new decade as, as we have done often in the past, we start defining marriage all over again.

Are you cool?

What if the coolest person on the planet didn't know they were the coolest person on the planet, because of a few self-doubts, a few trace fears, or the occasional twang of inadequacy. Or because they somehow thought fame, or wealth, or popularity mattered. Or because they just didn't know the effect they had on others.

It would be a pity, huh? A real travesty. And, of course, telling them wouldn't achieve much because they'd never believe you. Never. They'd be too modest to accept it. Too naïve to see it. And, well, too cool to think it mattered.

So... well... ah... let's just leave it at that -

Esercise

I have talked a lot about all the benefits of exercise but exercise is hard, hard to do, hard to find the time or place. Because it is hard, many of us don't do any or enough to make a difference. Let's examine happens to you if you DON’T exercise.

Did you know being sluggish or lazy sets off a negative chain reaction that may be impossible to halt before you die? At least until you reverse your habits. 

 If you do not exercise the prognosis is pretty grim so you might want to be sitting down as you read this. On second thought, how about standing? Then you’ll be one step closer to some positive movement and help reverse some of the nasty detriments to your health and longevity that inactivity and lack of exercise causes.

Which came first being sedentary or the weight gain. I think it is being sedentary. As you become more sedentary, you start to gain weight, and because you are gaining weight, you become more sedentary. That combination leads to even more unwanted pounds until you are obese.

I don't want to imply that every inactive person gets fat. But, I will. In my opinion, you can be fat without being overweight. What I mean is that you have undeveloped muscles and a high proportion of fat while still maintaining a normal weight.

The next step after you chose a sedentary lifestyle results in a weakened cardiovascular system. A weakened cardiovascular system is dangerous to your health. As you try to carry on normal activity with a weakened cardiovascular system you may cause harm to your heart. Next to follow could be heart disease. Did you know about half of the first heart attacks are fatal? In other words, your first symptom of heart disease could be death.

And of course, heart disease remains as our number one killer.

And if you continue to be inactive it may get worse.

Inactivity leads to muscle wasting (sarcopenia), and 7,000 people a DAY die from sarcopenia and its related conditions. One of the most important changes related to ageing is the loss of muscle mass and muscle strength. Older adults lose approximately 1% of muscle mass and 3% of muscle strength each year. Sarcopenia is recognized as a geriatric syndrome characterized by critically low levels of muscle mass and muscle strength or muscle performance that predisposes individuals to adverse health outcomes Sarcopenia, if you live long enough, usually lands you in a nursing home where the quality of life plummets.

Closely related, and a direct condition of inactivity is bone density loss. And this chain reaction leads to organ failures, a horrible quality of life, protracted sickness and suffering and life-destroying medical costs… followed by premature death.

The good news is, all this can be avoided – and even reversed by something as simple and inexpensive as exercise.

You don’t have to be an Ironman athlete to stay healthy. In fact, that extreme might in itself be life-shortening. Even something as easy as regular brisk walking and riding a bike, climbing a few flights of stairs instead of taking an elevator, yoga, and lifting and carrying packages instead of carting them around or having someone carry them for you can let you dodge absolute misery.

Better, of course, is at least moderate weight training and/or callisthenics.

Your brisk walking and bicycle riding can take care of your cardio training, but I suggest something a bit more aggressive if you can.

Weight-bearing exercise, a demand on your muscles and regular aerobic exercise can set off a positive chain reaction for you. A lean tight body which strengthens your muscles, bones, and all your organs, way less sickness and suffering, a longer healthier life as well as saving a fortune in medical bill