Are we there yet?

So, we're into our 9th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there's a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . .comic relief needed 

·        So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitiser and hand soap?

·        Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.

·        When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.

·        If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.

·        Just wait a second – so what you're telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?

·        People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.

·        If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.

·        Another Saturday night in the house and I just realised the trash goes out more than me.

·        Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald alcoholic.

·        Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.

·        The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is.

·        Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?

·        It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.

·        Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.

A few rules for seniors and especially for those who golf

1.       It is okay to talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice

2.       "ln Style" are the clothes that still fit.

3.       You don't need anger management. You need people to stop making you angry.

4.       Your people skills are just tine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

5.       The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "l don't need to write that down. l‘ll remember it."

6.       “On time" is when you get there.

7.       Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound

8.       It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

9.       Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

10.    Growing old should have taken longer.

11.    Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

12.    You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will

13.    “0ne for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.

14.    There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else. Making it a stolen ball. Tie player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty.

15.    If a putt passes over a hole without dropping. it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.

16.    Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game

17.    There is no penalty for a so-called "out of bounds" If pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land. this would not occur. The golfer deserves art apology. not a penalty.

18.    There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard. as golf

19.    balls should float That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have yet to over come Senior golfers should not be punished for manufacturers shortcomings.

Grumpy old men

Listening to music, relaxing with my friends, watching people are great pastimes and allow me the luxury of watching and thinking. I have noticed that I am seeing more and more of the idea of the cranky old man. We have seen him on TV, in movies, and in cartoons. Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau do a great version of him in the movie Grumpy Old Men. This character seems to dislike everybody and everything. Step on his lawn or get in his way at the store, and you will know it. Make a mistake to ask him about the government or taxes, and your ears will burn for a week. Not wearing a face mask. British author Carol Wyer has a different name: "irritable male syndrome."  This character is always portrayed as retired, but he is not living a rewarding retirement.

I have seen the stereotype in many places, but not very much in person. The people I see and interact with in the seminars that I give on wellness and the members of my senior’s association tend to be incredibly positive. I wonder why writers, and others think that so many “old” people become bitter and negative?  There is a perception that those who are enthusiastic about life, stay positive and keep fit as they age are a rarity.  This is a sad commentary on how society sees ageing. People I know do make deliberate decisions to not complain about their aches and pains because they know they have to get on with life and perhaps do it a bit slower. However, we still see the world as a beautiful place, but it does take work.

 

For the most part, the seniors I know do not end up inflexible and intolerant. Those that do may be suffering from undiagnosed depression.

The one thing about depression is that the person that is depressed can't see it. The depressed person believes they are seeing the world as it really is (terrible) and usually it's the people around them that notice and urge them to get help. If someone doesn't have people around them that care about them enough to insist, they get medical and professional help it can just go on and on never being resolved. This not a “do it yourself” condition. A person with depression cannot just buck up and look on the bright side, count their blessings and so on. The upside is that it can be successfully treated so do not give up, it has made a heck of a difference to our life. A poem by Dylan Thomas that, I think speaks for many of us who are ageing and who are fighting to keep the world a better place is below:

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

For those who are 55 yrs. old and above, please read this.

·        Between 55 and death. It's time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don't just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital.

 

·        Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

 

·        Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don't feel bad spending your money on yourself. You've taken care of them for many years, and you've taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

 

·        Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well, and get your sleep. It's easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you're feeling well. Stay informed.

 

·        Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.

 

·        Don't stress over the little things. You've already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don't let the past drag you down and don't let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

 

·        Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor, and remember: "A person is not old as long as they have intelligence and affection."

 

·        Be proud, both inside and out. Don't stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.

 

·        Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style. You ’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It ’s part of who you are.

 

·        ALWAYS stay up to date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying but keep an open mind. Remember everything you read online is not the truth. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You'll be surprised at what old friends you'll meet.

 

·        Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you, but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday's wisdom still applies today.

 

 

·        Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. If you ’re alive, you are part of this time.

 

·        Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it'll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you feel older and harder to be around.

 

·        Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live by yourself

 

·        Don't abandon your hobbies. If you don't have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf.

 

·        Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven't seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a park. Get out there.

 

·        Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are.

 

·        Pains and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of life.

 

·        If you've been offended by someone – forgive them. If you've offended someone-apologize. Don't drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn't matter who was right. Someone once said: "Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die." Don't take that poison. Forgive, forget, and move on with your life.

 

·        Laugh. Laugh away your worries Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life.

 

·        My valued friends enjoy a peaceful life at this point in your life A the song says...Don't worry... be happy. 🥰😘

 

Thank you to *Anonymous* who created this list.