Sadness

We live in a society where a high value is placed on being positive, however, occasionally in life, no matter what you do…

no matter how hard you try…

sometimes things will just be incredibly sad.

Just telling yourself to "be positive" isn't much help,

because moods can have a life of their own

There are three types of sadness most of us fall into:

1.   Short-term sadness:

2.   Triggered sadness

3.   Depression

Depression is an illness and must be treated by a professional. 

However, if you suffer the first two types, the best cure for sadness is happiness.

And the good news is: the sadness helps you appreciate the happiness so much more.

All the world's a stage

.... and all the men and women merely players.   - William Shakespeare 

Do you 

• expect people to behave a certain way and at a certain time?
• To react a certain way?
• To say a certain thing?
• To send the correct emoji response to my last text?

If you do, then you have probably been disappointed, life is not a scripted event, it is an improv. Every day we create stories for our lives. Sometimes are stories are happy, sometimes they are sad, but most of the time, they are a surprise. 

If you were the director of your play of life, you could expect the players to respond as you want them to, say what you want them to say, when you need them to say the lines. But we have no director and so we stumble through each day and hope that we remain the hero/heroine of our day. Sometimes we surprise ourselves and get to be the hero, other times we play supporting cast to others who we interact with every day. 

Each day is a surprise and the opportunity for a new story or a new chapter in or ongoing story. When we look back at our lives, we will not "sweat the small stuff", but we will remember relationships and the feelings we received from these relationships, 

Are you the hero of your story that you hoped you would be when you were ten? If not perhaps it is time to change the channel or open a new chapter of your story. Remember it is never too late

Walking 10 minutes a day is healthy

Not sure what is happening, but for some reason this post is appearing in ALL CAPS, which is not what I see on my editing screen. Sorry for those who think I am yelling about this, I am not.

I love to walk and have talked about walking many times in this blog. The good folks at grandparents.com  have added some information about how important walking.

How to Get Started

Resolve to walk for just 10 minutes each day. Dress appropriately for the weather, and start with a stroll in your neighbourhood or near your workplace. Don’t put on your headphones. If you invite someone along, be sure to tell them that the walk is about being quiet and noticing your surroundings, not about chatting.  

As you walk:

Allow your mind to wander. “Your mind will wander, “Koerbel says. “That’s OK. Recognise that it’s a thought and only a thought. Then say, ‘Now I’m going to notice the breeze on my face.’” In other words, keep coming back to your observations about where you are now.

Be willing to be surprised by what’s around you. You will notice birds. You will observe people. You might see nothing! All of it can be a source of wonder if you allow yourself to see it that way. And wonder brings joy to those who observe it. And joy points out, Dr Chopra, brings better health.

Pledge to take care of yourself. This walk is for you and part of your effort at self-care, Koerbel says. Be comfortable. Be grateful for your ability to venture out, and be faithful to your commitment to it.

What You’ll Get Out of It

A Settled Mind: By staying open to what’s around you, you will begin to feel more peaceful. It may be as simple as recognising what is around you, but walking mindfully may also allow your mind to open and see things more clearly.

An Appreciation of Nature: Many studies have linked being in nature with a sense of well-being. In your mindfulness walk, you can notice the things that nature provides us and appreciate them in a more complete way.

A Chance to Breathe Deeply: Unlike yoga or guided meditation, mindfulness walking does not urge you to breathe deeply. But it’s likely that as you begin to walk, you’ll naturally take deeper breaths, which has several benefits: You can slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, reduce tension, boost energy, and improve your mood.

Problem-Solving Moments: Sometimes, insights do occur when you’re walking mindfully. And sometimes they show up afterwards. “Offering yourself time to come back to your center often frees us to think outside the box,” Koerbel says. “Mindfulness walking can be a process of self-discovery and self-care. Mindfulness supports us in many ways to go toward wholeness and healing.

A Sense of Gratitude: Many studies have shown that feeling gratitude is a great antidote to stress. Mindfulness walking can stoke your feelings of gratefulness. “Those feelings often do arise when we are willing to be with ourselves and just experience everything around us,” Koerbel says. It might be as simple as feeling grateful for the first breath of air or a feeling of vitality. It might be a sense of thankfulness for a beautiful day or for the scenery. Even if it is feeling grateful for something small like the sight of a bright red cardinal winging past you, it’s a feeling you probably won’t have if you’re sitting in your home or office.  

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America's Favorite Age? It's 50

An Internet poll asked If you could skip time and live forever in good health at a particular age, what age would you like to live at? The answer aAccording to a Harris interactive, the magic number is 50.

The online poll surveyed a total of 2,252 American adults which included men and women of all ages, all geographical regions, and all political bents. Some had children; some did not. All were picked from a pool of folks who’d agreed to participate in a Harris Interactive survey.

Not surprisingly, younger people chose younger ages. Echo boomers, ages 18 to 36, thought a perfect age was 38. Gen Xers, ages 37 to 48, wanted to stay put at 49. Baby boomers, ages 49 to 67, thought 55 was pretty awesome. While mature adults, ages 68 and older, were happy to hold steady at 67.

On average, men wanted to be younger than women, choosing 47 over the average perfect age for females of 53. Those with kids in the household thought to stay 45 forever would rock; those without children around opted for 53.

It's an Internet poll, not an academic peer-reviewed study. Still, there are plenty of reasons people might call 50 the perfect age, psychologists say.

You have almost every opportunity. You’re young enough to be famous or start an organic farm and still have the muscle tone to work eight hours a day. You’re old enough to have wisdom but young enough that your parents are still alive so you have a generational experience. If you’re tired, you can ask the young man on the bus to get out of his seat for you. Or you can date the young man. 

All of the recent medical – and cosmetic -- developments have also helped to give 50 a facelift.  For a woman, you can stay stylish and fit and maybe get your hair dyed or just do a little [cosmetic] tune-up and feel, ‘Wow, this is great.’ In terms of childbearing, you can basically say forget it or if you want a baby at 50 or 53, you can get your hormones juiced up and go for it.

Research shows that as we age, we tend to be less depressed, less anxious and more optimistic than our juniors. And we also become more comfortable with ourselves and our bodies.

Fifty is also sort of a sweet spot when it comes to grandchildren.

Lots of people don’t have grandchildren by 50 so you’re not necessarily tied down babysitting. Of course, given how slowly young people mature now, you may still be dealing with someone in their 20s who loves living at home.

While a similar survey conducted 10 years ago found 41 to be a perfect age. We can act and feel at 50 now the way people used to at 35, It’s influencing. If you’re lucky enough to have good health and money to take care of yourself, why not incorporate the wisdom and maturity that goes with age?