Are you the director?

Have you ever met a person who wants to direct or control all that surrounds them? I worked, many years ago with a boss, who recently died, who wanted to control everything at work and in his leisure time. We were talking about going camping and I said that I love it because of the freedom from time that being in the wilderness gave me. He responded that if he went camping, he would create a time schedule so that every minute of his camping trip was accounted for when he was camping. He was a good boss as long as you never presented him with a surprise. Changes could be made and he would approve them but I had to make sure that every possible issue was looked at and explained in great detail to him. Now I am a big picture thinker and having to worry about details had not been part of my routine. However, working with him for three years made me a better person, because I was able to continue to look at the big picture and I grew to understand how important the details were to make the big dream/picture come to life.

I also realized that there are many people who think it is or would be amazing if they were able to be the director. From time to time I am guilty of trying to be the director. I do this because I expect people to:
behave a certain way and at a certain time.
react to situations in a certain way.
say certain things in certain situations.
send the correct emoji response to my last text.

The issue is that I am not the director and I cannot control what other people say or do in real life and the times that I have tried have been embarrassing for me and for others. The fact is life is not a well-scripted play and there is not a director.

Life is more like improv theatre.  Each of us is totally free to choose to say whatever line we want to say.  To act and react however we wish.  And if that often frustrates your inner director, it is time to let the director in you off the hook and enjoy the improv that life gives to us every day.

Choices

Guess what life is not a game of life or death, it is a game of life and death. The bad news is you and I will never make it through life alive. As we move through life, many of us mistake 'satisfaction for security.  This is a serious error.  Being satisfied can:

· destroy your vitality

· hinder or destroy your ambition.

· let you settle.

· keep you from living life to the fullest.

Once you realize that there is no escape from the end of life and that life is not safe, the realization that there is a lack of safety can open up a reality of choice. In retirement, it is important to rekindle an old passion or find a new passion. We need a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Once you step out of your comfort zone, you open yourself up to a world where you can search and find your passion! But opening your heart and your head to the idea of finding passion in your life, may also be frightening. Life at times can be scary and uncomfortable. Remember we are going to make it through to the end and as our journey moves to its inevitable conclusion, we can embrace the discomfort and turn it to our advantage, or we can retreat into ourselves and let the discomfort and unease overwhelm us.  The sages that we sometimes read or listen to have given us these homilies:

It's never too late! (That is, as long as you're still alive.)

You can always make a different choice. Choose to:

• follow your dreams
• aim higher
• play hard
• go big

(you're going 'to die ' in the end anyhow)

All we need to do is find the courage to make different choices.

Growth

As you move into or start thinking of moving into retirement, don't focus on the money. I have talked about how money or the lack of it can influence your lifestyle in retirement. There are plenty of people who can help you look at your financial situation when you retire. There are not many that will ask you to focus on how you will grow as a person when you retire. 

We all need a reason to get up in the morning, and when you first retire, it may be difficult to find that reason. I want you to think about one area of life that brings you the most discomfort. Why you ask? While that area of discomfort that you feel means that you need to grow and learn and become a better person in that area of your life. This area is as you know is an area that you're ripe for growth.

Think about it, you know it true, never fails,

What do you remember?

Ever wonder, when looking back at your life, why it's easier to remember the good than the bad, the pleasant than the unpleasant, the laughs than the cries? Some could say that it's simply because there's always a lot more of the former. That may be true, in every life. 

How do we allocate our time in life, assuming we live for the average age, which in Canada is 81. 

We live a total of 29,565 days or 709,560 hours
of those we spend (on average);
206,952 hours sleeping, 
88, 680 hours eating, 
90,000 hours working, 
10, 800 hours commuting,  
7,200 hours in K to 12 
21, 600 hours on social media
5,472 hours in quality time with family
312 hours in the hospital
65,688 hours watching TV
60,000 hours on the phone
2, 208 on the toilet

and the list can go on to include things that we do that are out of the realm of those who find statistics interesting. By the way, each of the above statistics was found by doing a google search. I find it remarkable that people study us that much. 

The point is that we have very little time, so when we cast our minds back we remember the good times because they force their way through the routine of life into our long-term memory. As people, we move away from pain and toward pleasure which means that as we recall our lives, we remember the good times not the bad.