Two eaglets and some ketchup

The eaglets were preparing to leave the nest and fly out into the world when their grandfather happened by. He perched on the side of the nest to wish them well. The eaglets asked what grandfather liked to eat most. 

"That'd have to be salmon, or maybe trout. Oh, one day soon you'll find out!" 

A granddaughter asked, "What do you usually eat?" 

"Rabbits are always good, and squirrels, you've seen squirrels?" 

"Sure, we see a lot, running around on the branches." 

"Keep an eye out, because those are tasty." Said the grand old eagle. 

"An eagle-eye," a smart-mouthed grandson said and was immediately smacked. 

The granddaughter asked, "Birds, what about birds, do we eat those?" 

"Well some, sure. Seagulls, those are fine and pretty easy to catch." Answered the great eagle. 

A grandson asked, "There's a big white bird with long legs, it lives by rivers and streams, do you know? Do you eat those?"

 "I think you mean egrets?" his grandfather asked. 

"That's right, egrets, have you eaten a lot of those?" 

"Egrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention."

Two tomatoes cross the road, and one of them gets squished by a passing car. The other tomato turns to his friend and says, "Come on, ketchup!"

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing up!

Things to be Grateful for as You Age

Are you struggling to find things to be grateful for as you grow older? It can be challenging to acknowledge what we're thankful for at times, and that's okay! Here is a potential list of things to be grateful for if you are over 60.  Not everyone has everything on the list, but I hope the list gives you an idea of the range of things we can be grateful for as we age.

1.     A close-knit family that offers emotional support during challenging times; friends who have been there through thick and thin, and colleagues who make the workplace a positive and engaging environment.

2.     Appreciating the comfort and security of a home, the luxury of having a variety of food choices, and the access to clean water, acknowledging that not everyone has these basic necessities.

3.     Your good health or appreciating the opportunity to work on personal well-being through activities like regular exercise, meditation, and healthy eating habits.

4.     All the Experiences that Have Shaped You into the Person You Are Today This is done by reflecting on the lessons learned from life's challenges, celebrating the growth that comes with age, and valuing the wisdom gained from various experiences.

5.     Embracing the chance to explore new hobbies, join clubs, or engage in community activities, that provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and build new friendships.

6.     Financial Stability which gives you the ability to enjoy retirement without the burden of significant debts, and the freedom to make choices without constant financial stress.

7.      Self-reflection, taking the time to reflect on one's achievements, contributions to the community, and the positive impact made on the lives of others throughout the years.

8.     Freedom to travel after years of hard work, to explore the world, whether it's through travel or simply having the time to pursue personal interests, hobbies, and passions after dedicating years to career and responsibilities.

9.     Having a shift in mindset that comes with age, focusing more on personal happiness and fulfillment rather than being influenced by societal expectations or the opinions of others.

10.   Appreciating the gift of life, acknowledging the experiences, memories, and opportunities that have come along the way, and looking forward to the years ahead with optimism and gratitude.

You may not know this

Many inanimate things have a gender.

1.    Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2.     Copiers are Female because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device If the right buttons are pushed but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3.    A Tire is Male, because it goes bald, and it's often over-inflated.

4.    A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5.    Sponges are Female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6.    A Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on.

7.    A Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8.    An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9.    A Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10. A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this ~ it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

11. A GPS Navigation System is Female, because it provides guidance and direction, but sometimes it insists on taking you the long way around.

12. A Swiss Army Knife is Male, as it's versatile, practical, and always ready for action.

13. A Refrigerator is Female, because it keeps things cold and preserves them, but it tends to get cluttered and occasionally needs defrosting.

14. A Mirror is Female, as it reflects and highlights beauty, but can also reveal flaws and imperfections.

15. A Suitcase is Male because it's sturdy, dependable, and always there to carry your load.

16. A Candle is Female, since it brings warmth and creates a cozy atmosphere, yet it can be quite delicate and needs careful handling.

17. A Computer is Male, because it processes vast amounts of information, but sometimes it crashes when you least expect it.

18. A Backpack is Female, because it's comfortable to carry, holds your essentials, and often becomes a fashion statement.

19. A Pen is Male, because it leaves a mark and can be assertive in its writing, yet it might occasionally leak and make a mess.

20. A Chess Set is Female, as it requires strategic thinking and planning, but every piece has its unique role in the game.

Why did the scarecrow become a social butterfly? More Dad jokes

  Because he wanted to branch out and make more hay-friends!

I asked my friend if he wanted to join a club for people who love elevators. He said, "I'm not sure, it has its ups and downs."

Why don't scientists trust atoms to form social bonds? Because they make up everything!

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

How do you organize a space party? You planet!

I invited all my plants to a party. I guess you could say it was a "rooting" good time!

What did the social media enthusiast say when his friend asked if he wanted to go for a walk? "Sorry, I can't. I'm booked."

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Why did the bicycle fall over at the social gathering? It was two-tired.

My friend tried to make a belt out of watches. He soon realized it was a waist of time.

I told my computer I needed more social interaction. Now it has a lot of "chat" rooms.

I joined a cooking class for introverts. We mostly just stir quietly.

Why did the pencil go to therapy? It had too many issues with drawing boundaries.

My friend tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it didn't go well. Good players are hard to find.

I started a band called "Duvet." We're a cover band.