To the new teachers

In conversations with many young teachers I hear them tell me they will  not smile until xmas." This message is code for I will make sure my class is well behaved so they can learn. The idea is that teachers need strong classroom management skills to take control so they can create a strong learning environment.. Here is one teacher who did this without having to use the "I will not smile until xmas" rule

A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took

a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started

he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his

body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest

students in the school.

The smartass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former

Marine, decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any

pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher

opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and

promptly stapled the tie to his chest.

......Dead silence... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

What number would you press?

Thanks to Geri for this video link which pokes gentle humour at our attitude toward mental illness.

Were you born in the 1900's

Here is an interesting factoid, and it works with all members of my family, so it might work with yours
I was born in 1946 this year I will 65 add my age and the the last two digits of the year I was born and you get 111.
My sone was born in 1980, this year he will be 31. Add the last two digits of the year he was born and you get 111
My mother-in -law was born in 1926 and this year she will be 85. Add the last two digits of the year she was born and you get 111
My daughter was born in 1976 and this year she will be 35. Add the last two digits of the year she was born and you get 111

Interesting factoid. All you Math people out there let me know why this works, please.

Good police work

Types of people

There are 10 types of people in the world:  Those who understand binary code, and those that don't.

 

1 in 100 understands Hexadecimal, the other 255 do not understand this message.

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learn something about Canada and then enjoy a good chuckle.


The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.


-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)
Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Vancouver Canucks win the Stanley Cup

Anagrams........ clever!!

Anagrams........ clever!!
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

How I learned to love Western Union

My wife is in Australia and enjoying her time with our new grandson and my daughter. Before she left, she went to the credit union to get some Australian money to help pay for a holiday for Danielle when we were going down in February. The Credit Union said they would have to order it in; we talked it over and I said, let's increase your line of credit and you can use your debit card for cash. Great idea, I thought.

On the morning after Colleen arrived in Australia--the trip took over 33 hours and is another post--I received a phone call from the Vancity saying that Colleen's Debit card had been cancelled due to skimming, at one of the stores in Canada she had visited before she left.

So how to solve the problem. I asked the Credit Union and they gave me a couple of solutions. The first was that they would send me a new card and pin for Colleen and I would send it to her in Australia. The manager of the Credit Union I talked to said the new card would arrive in a couple of days. I thought this might work. The second solution would be for Colleen to phone the Credit Union and they would activate her card for 30 minutes. As Colleen is in a small community (Sawmill Settlement) and getting to a bank machine meant travelling for an hour, this would not work.

We had another solution, I thought, which was to use her Sears MasterCard to get cash. Colleen had just activated her new card and had phoned Sears MasterCard to let them know that she would be in Australia. The woman she talked to said to Colleen, you don't have to tell us that, to which Colleen said she thought it was a good idea. The woman at Sears MasterCard said she would make a note on the card. Well, she forgot or didn't want to be bothered to make the note. So, in Australia, Colleen goes to use her MasterCard, since she had just received a new pin, she was slow in entering the numbers, to make sure she was using the correct ones. She received a message that she was not authorized.

After a bit of investigation and some phone calls, we discovered that her Sears MasterCard had been cancelled because their security that there was a fraud on her card as it was being used in Australia. Colleen had bought her ticket to Australia using her Sears MasterCard, she had phoned and asked that a travel notice be put on her card, to prevent this from happening. So no access to cash through MasterCard. Security is good at Sears MasterCard, too bad the rest of the customer service was bad. I would say incompetent, but that might be too harsh.

We are back to option A, send a new Debit card to Australia, however, when I received the new card today it was a replacement card for me, not Colleen. I talked to Damian at Vancity and he said human error, apologized and suggested I use Western Union to wire some cash to Colleen and he gave me a small credit to help pay some of the cost of doing that.

Western Union here I come. Colleen will be discussing the lack of service with Sears MasterCard when she returns from Australia, I am sure the conversation will be interesting.

Crabby Old Man

An elderly man wrote this in the hospital before he died....
What  do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?

What  are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at  me?

A crabby old man . . . .. . Not very  wise,

Uncertain of habit . . . . . With faraway  eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes  no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I  do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice . . . .  . The things that you do.

And forever is losing . .  . . . A sock or a shoe?

Who, resisting or not . .  . . . Lets you do as you will,

With bathing and  feeding . . .. . . The long day to fill?

Is that  what you're thinking? . . . . .. Is that what you  see?

Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You're  not looking at me.


I'll tell you who I am. . .  . . . As I sit here so still,

As I do at your  bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.

I'm a  small child of Ten . . . . . With a father and  mother,

Brothers and sisters . . . . . Who love one  another.


A young boy of Sixteen . . . . With  wings on his feet..

Dreaming that soon now . . . . .  A lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . .  . My heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows . .  . . . That I promised to keep.


At Twenty-Five,  now . . . . . I have young of my own.

Who need me  to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home.

A man  of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,

Bound  to each other . . . . . With ties that should  last.



At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have  grown and are gone,

But my woman's beside me . . .  . . To see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more,  babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children  . . . . . My loved one and me.


Dark days are  upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.

I look at  the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.

For my  young are all rearing . . . .. . Young of their  own.

And I think of the years . . . . . And the  love that I've known.


I'm now an old man . . .  . . And nature is cruel.

Its jest to make old age .  . . .. . Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles .  . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.

There is now a  stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart.


But  inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still  dwells,

And now and again . . . . . My battered  heart swells.

I remember the joys . . . . . I  remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living . . ..  . . Life over again.

I think of the years, all  too few . . . . . Gone too fast.

And accept the  stark fact .. . . . That nothing can last.

So open  your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see.

Not a  crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See  ME!!

Taking Risks

It does not matter if you are a Doctor, a Lawyer or an infantry soldier in the Army if you want to be the best and get ahead, you will need to take risks.

A doctor may have to take risks when working with a patient. The Doctor may have to experiment with different forms of medications or new surgical procedures when all else has failed in an attempt to help the patient.

A lawyer may have to argue a case in an unorthodox manner to win the case, but if the lawyer wants to become the top lawyer and make millions of dollars fighting high profile cases lots of risks have to be taken.

A soldier may have to take a risk and run thru gunfire to save another injured soldier, to complete their mission, or just to secure an area from being overrun by enemy troops, after going days with little to no sleep, but if a soldier wants to get promotions and eventually lead men into battle they also need to take risks.

The same can be said about life in general. No one gets ahead in life from playing it safe. You will not meet your special someone if you are too afraid to risk getting rejected by someone, you will never get that big promotion unless you take risks at your job.

It is very important to continue to take risks in life. To stop taking risks means to stand still in life. Standing still in life is one of the main causes of depression. These are usually the people afraid to confront the boss and tell him that they demand a raise; they are the ones that allow life to pass them by out of fear. The entire purpose of fear is to stop you from taking a risk.

Fear is nothing more then the unknown. If you have always wanted to quit your job and open a shop but you are too afraid to do it, this is because you are afraid of failing and risking what you already have.

It is important to learn to take risks in life if you want to be happy, you may not always get the things you risked for, but you will know that you tried, and in the end it does not matter if you succeed or not it is how many risks you try to make that is one of the tests of how successful your life will be.

Bucket lists

I went to the Mission Raceway the other day to watch my nephew and my brother in law race.  Shane had bought a racing car a  few months ago and was using the opportunity given by Mission Raceway for people to race their cars on Friday nights to practice and get up his times. Tom decided that he wanted to do something different so he said he was up to racing. So we all went out to the races on Friday night. On the way out we stopped at a pub restaurant in Mission to have a coffee. There was a mother with a seven month old girl (who was trying to walk) and the women in my party struck up a conversation with the new mom. The baby girls name was Ocean, very cute name and a very cute baby. The ladies talked to the mom about how cute the baby was and diets and other stuff, being a guy I soon bored of the conversation but  I watched Ocean; she appeared delighted with her surroundings, taking everything in, watching the ladies in my party as they each tried to talk to her. Ocean was accepting of the attention and appeared to be delighted with just being there. 

Babies have a unique way of bringing a sense of new beginnings and a sense of wonder about the  world, which we as adults sometimes lose.

The racetrack was very busy and it took a while for Tom to race. He did a fantastic job, and his reaction time was pretty dam fast for a Boomer (Tom is older than me, but not by much). I enjoyed the opportunity to be at the racetrack and to watch Tom and Shane race. The Bucket list is not a bad idea, but I am not ready to begin to think about kicking the bucket so I am not ready to make my list yet. One day soon perhaps.

Are You Open to new?

No matter where we are in life or what you have achieved or understood it I believe you should always be open to accepting new in your life. I believe that if  you truly want to be your best you must always be open to embracing the new.

Being open to new does not mean being driven to accept what society, the media, or things outside of yourself says you should do, but you should always remain open and receptive to what the still, small voice that dwells within you is sharing to take you  to the  next level.

Believe in the guidance from within, and broadcast that message and it will only a matter of time before you are willing to be receptive to the voice and act on the message. When you are not receptive to new, life can seem boring and unexciting. Sometimes you can even feel stuck. There may be times when you may not be able pinpoint anything that is really wrong, but you just feel unfulfilled. This is because it is human nature to want to constantly expand from one level of completeness to another.