An optimistic future?

 Xmas is coming the goose is getting fat, 

Time to put a penny in the old man's hat. 

If you haven’t got a penny a ha'penny will do, 

If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God bless you!

Are you happy? 

It appears that as we age, we become more optimistic and happy according to a survey done in 2024/

The survey done by AARP in the fall shows that most older adults are optimistic about their future, with happiness increasing with age. As we move to the end of 2024 and celebrate Christmas focus on your sense of purpose and joy. The holidays allow us to engage in activities that bring fulfillment, such as spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, and contributing to the community. These can help maintain our mental and emotional well-being, which is essential for maintaining a positive attitude.

Many of us are in good health, however the presence of chronic conditions or the fear of chronic conditions is common. I had/have a heart problem which I ignored for a long time because I put the symptoms down to just age. I was wrong. It's crucial to manage your health effectively through regular medical check-ups, following prescribed treatments and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Eating nutritious foods, staying active, and engaging in preventive healthcare can significantly improve long-term health outcomes and ease concerns about ageing. Regular exercise, even light physical activity, can help with mobility, independence, and overall health. In the depth of winter, it is hard to do this, but it can be done, with the help of friends and family.

We are at an age when we are losing friends and family, so we understand that we need to strengthen our relationships with friends and family. Strong social networks are key to reducing loneliness and maintaining a positive outlook. We instinctively understand this as we get older so we take the time to actively nurture our relationships by engaging in community activities, joining social groups, and staying connected with loved ones. This is the time of year to build on and strengthen those supportive social circles that can enhance our emotional resilience and quality of life.

The survey found that many of us desire to live to 92, but we only expect to live to 85. It's important to acknowledge the realities of aging but also to take steps to maximize life expectancy. Staying physically and mentally active, managing health risks, and setting realistic yet hopeful goals for the future can help give us a sense of empowerment and resilience.

Ageing can be a time of discovery, creativity, and connection. During the holidays focus on the opportunities aging brings, embrace this time of year and see it as a chance to prioritize what truly matters. I recommend focusing on how to make the most of each stage of your life.

With nearly nine in ten older adults optimistic about their own future, you are not alone in feeling hopeful. This positive outlook can fuel resilience and motivation to embrace life fully. Celebrate small victories and savour the moments that bring you happiness.

Ageing involves inevitable changes, both physical and emotional. Stay flexible and open to new experiences, whether learning new skills, taking up a new hobby, or adapting to lifestyle changes. Ageing doesn't mean losing independence or opportunities—it's about finding new ways to thrive.

At this time of year, I encourage you to embrace life with optimism, adapt to challenges, and live life to the fullest, regardless of your health or the years ahead. Ultimately, while aging can bring uncertainties, it also offers unique opportunities for growth, joy, and fulfillment. By focusing on what you can do rather than what you fear, you can approach the future with confidence and optimism.

Don't worry be happy

 Happiness is often misunderstood as the ultimate goal of life, but in reality, it's more of a byproduct of how we live our lives and the choices we make.

Happiness often arises from leading a purposeful life rather than seeking happiness directly. For example, someone who volunteers at a local shelter may find deep fulfillment in helping others, which leads to a sense of happiness as a consequence of their meaningful actions. Many people believe that helping others will make them happy. While this may be true in the short term, research has shown that the relationship between helping others and happiness is more complex. While helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment, it is not always the case that it leads to increased happiness.

Meaningful relationships and social connections contribute significantly to happiness. People who prioritize building strong connections with friends, family, and community often experience greater levels of happiness. For instance, a close-knit family that regularly gathers for meals and activities tends to foster happiness among its members. People often believe that finding the perfect partner or having a certain number of friends will make them happy. However, research has shown that the quality of relationships is more important than the quantity. Having a few close, supportive relationships is more beneficial to well-being than having a large social network.

Many people believe that having more money will make them happy. However, research has shown that once basic needs are met, additional wealth does not necessarily lead to greater happiness. In fact, an excessive focus on material wealth can lead to negative consequences such as stress, social isolation, and decreased well-being.

Whether in personal development, career achievements, or learning new skills, can lead to a sense of satisfaction and happiness. For example, someone who sets and achieves meaningful goals, such as completing a marathon or mastering a musical instrument, experiences happiness as a result of their efforts and progress.

Happiness is also intertwined with emotional resilience and the ability to navigate life's challenges effectively. Individuals who practice resilience techniques, such as mindfulness or cognitive reframing, often have a more positive outlook on life and experience happiness even during difficult times.

Cultivating gratitude and practicing mindfulness can enhance one's ability to find joy in everyday experiences. For instance, keeping a gratitude journal or regularly practicing mindfulness meditation can increase awareness of moments that bring happiness, such as enjoying a beautiful sunset or sharing a laugh with a friend.

Prioritizing holistic well-being, including physical health, mental wellness, and work-life balance, contributes significantly to overall happiness. For example, someone who maintains a healthy lifestyle through regular exercise, nutritious eating, and sufficient rest is likely to experience higher levels of happiness and satisfaction. People may believe that achieving a certain goal, such as getting a promotion or running a marathon, will make them happy. However, research has shown that the process of pursuing a goal, rather than the achievement itself, is what leads to increased well-being. Focusing on personal growth and self-improvement can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.

In summary, happiness is not an end in itself but rather a means to achieving greater things. It is a byproduct of living a fulfilling life, pursuing personal growth, and finding meaning and purpose. While it is important to strive for happiness, it is equally important to recognize that it is not the only goal in life.

By understanding that happiness is not an end goal but rather a consequence of how we live our lives, we can focus on cultivating meaningful experiences, relationships, personal growth, and well-being, which ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and joyful existence.

The idealism of youth is still active in seniors

It is amazing when the young find that the old still have deep yearnings and ambitions and some of us are still filled with the energy and idealism of youth. The recent stories of the grandfather who had climbed up a tree to stop a pipeline recently springs to mind. The press played the story about the age of the person, not the idealism which shaped his decision to act.  Youth may believe that we become more stoic and sage-like over time, which may be true for some, but most of us still have hopes, dreams and desire.

My generation is not becoming slowly disillusioned by life, we are holding on to our sense of the wonder of life and we hold on to the vibrancy and vitality we had when we were young. We all have joys, hopes, fears, and longings that never go away no matter how old we get.

I have been fortunate as I see a lot of seniors when I am giving the workshops on Health and Wellness. Some of them assume I am an expert or an authority (which I am not) and they talk to me about life. Sometimes they talk about regrets, sometimes they talk about love, sometimes they talk about success. Most of the thoughts about regrets revolved around families. The main regret appears to be that the relationships, either with their children or between their children, turned out differently than they hoped.

When people talk to me about happiness and successes they talk about times when they were young and raising their families when their children were younger and living at home. I remember these times as very stressful, but they, of course, have no doubt that those days were also the happiest.

Happiness is more complex than we thought when we were younger. Our understanding of what makes us happy changes as we age. When we’re younger, perhaps we imagine happiness as a feeling instead of a state of fulfillment, meaning, or abundance.

Being old brought a lot of advantages: more time, more perspective, less hustling to be the best and most successful, and an urgency to strengthen the important relationships in your life. Many of my friends and the people I talk to, talk about death, but none of us are afraid of death but we are afraid of dying and when we are dying becoming a burden on the ones we love.

I know young people and some older people who have an intense fear of growing old. They assume that as we get older, we lose our vibrancy and thirst for life. In my experience talking with my friends and through my interactions with the few thousand people I meet through the lectures I give; this couldn’t be further from the truth. The people I know and meet, still laugh like crazy, fall in love like mad and pursue happiness fiercely. Put simply, one person I talked to asked me, “Do you wish you accomplished more?” Before I could respond he answered his own question by stating sadly, “No, I wished I loved more.”

Happiness and age

Academics get research grants for many great ideas and we advance the knowledge base of mankind through these research grants. However, there are times when I wonder how or why funding for some grants is approved. Having said that, I find it interesting that experts from Princeton University and the London School of Economics and Political Sciences found that happiness peaks at the ages of 23 and 69.

That may be older than many of you, but it is an age that I have passed and I still am happy, I guess I was also happy at 69 because as we all know happiness does not drop off a cliff and end suddenly!

How did the researchers arrive at their conclusions? Well, they questioned 23,000 volunteers, aged 17 to 85.  The researchers believe these ages are the happiest for us a number of reasons. The three top reasons are:

At 23, you:

have left rigours of education behind.

are embarking on an exciting adult life. 

are earning income.

At 69, you

no longer have the stresses of raising a family.

have retirement to look forward and it represents a new start.

have time for yourself.

I don’t write for 23-year-old adults, I write for the 55+ age group, some of whom are approaching or are over 69. So, my question to that age group is what do you need to do now to ensure that your future is bigger (better, happier, more fulfilling) than your past? Here are some of my ideas

First, create a written retirement plan. It will reduce stress and make you feel better, and more confident about your future.

No matter how tough your circumstances, work and find one little glimmer or hope and happiness. Focus on that. Foster it. And, you’ll probably find that the little spot of goodness will get bigger.

Nurturing your relationships with friends and family and creating new friends has been proven in study after study to be the secret of not only a happy life — but also a longer life.  Loneliness is as big a predictor of an earlier death as smoking!

Have a Purpose: Giving back and feeling part of a community are well recognized as being keys to happiness — especially in old age.

Harvard University’s landmark study of ageing well, found that “generativity” (giving back and participating in your community) tripled the chances that someone would feel joy throughout their seventies.

Do you talk or think about your death? 

My friends and I were talking at the pub about the end of life, as within the last few days, we had five friends who had died. One of my friends said, “we need to think and talk about death more. I think it is important and life-affirming.”

Do you think about death? If you do there is an app just for you? It is called “WeCroak.”  It will send you an alert at 5 random times throughout the day that says, “You are going to die.”

The WeCroak creators say, “a regular practice of contemplating mortality helps us accept what we must, let go of things that don’t matter and honour the things that do.” And, finding happiness by contemplating your mortality is a scientifically backed technique.

My friend and the folks at WeCroak may believe this but there are well over 200 experiments, where individuals have been instructed to imagine themselves dying. In these studies, it was found that if we think about our death, we become more punitive. Thinking about death also increases our nationalistic bias, makes us more prejudiced against other racial, religious and age groups, and leads to other such parochial attitudes.

Taken together, these dozens of studies show that being reminded of death strengthens our ties to the groups we belong to, to the detriment of those who are different from us.

Reminders of death also affect our political and religious beliefs in interesting ways. On the one hand, they polarise us: political liberals become more liberal while conservatives become more conservative. Similarly, religious people tend to assert their beliefs more fervently while nonreligious

Another study out of the University of Missouri found that thoughts of death can lead to decreased militaristic attitudes, better health decisions, increased altruism and helpfulness, and reduced divorce rates.

"According to terror management theory, people deal with their awareness of mortality by upholding cultural beliefs and seeking to become part of something larger and more enduring than themselves, such as nations or religions," said Jamie Arndt, study co-author and professor of psychological sciences. "Depending on how that manifests itself, positive outcomes can be the result.

This research proves that there are two sides to every coin and a glass is always either half full or half empty.  You get to choose what to focus on and focusing on the positive is a sure-fire way to feel happier.

Happiness Comes From Love & Gratitude

Every day, people buy too much stuff, eat too much food, and waste away their hours chasing after happiness…to no avail. They may find excitement or satiation, but TRUE HAPPINESS still eludes them.

Fortunately, happiness is really inexpensive and pretty simple to find, but that doesn’t mean that it comes easily. However, if you’re bold, and truly willing to commit to a few simple steps, happiness will be yours in just a short while.

1.   Quit Complaining.

The first step to finding happiness is to stop trying to find what’s wrong with the world around you. There’s plenty to complain about, but if you focus all of your attention there, you’ll never see the good stuff.

2.   Choose To Live In Love.

Falling in love with the world (and people) around you is a sure step toward happiness…and it’s easy. Simply accept people for who they are, and choose to see the good in them. Don’t expect it…CHOOSE it…then express it.

3.   Appreciate Everything.

Start expressing your gratitude every day. If you’d like, keep a gratitude journal and write down at least 3 things you’re grateful for every morning. Before long, you’ll have more things to appreciate than you can count.

Becoming happy may mean “looking like a fool” or changing A LOT of your current habits, but I promise you…it sure beats the alternative.

What can YOU do to create more happiness in your life TODAY? 

Happiness

Happiness isn't a destination  it is a realization that things couldn't possibly get any better than having the freedom to perceive as you please and to think as you choose, in our magical, interesting and wonderful world.

How to be Happy

To be happy be kind to others. What goes around comes around - and with kindness it really does. Research shows that being kind to others increases our own levels of happiness as well as theirs. What's more it has a knock-on effect - kindness is contagious, so it makes our communities nicer places to be.

Recent research into brain functioning has confirmed that we are hard-wired for love and compassion. So it's not all chasing about individual success - our communities and society flourish when people look out for each other.

When we're kind to people we know it strengthens our connections with them and provides a source of support. Research shows that we may benefit from giving support more than those receiving it - and we're also more likely get support in return when we need it. This may not be like-for-like support, or even from the same person, but being kind to others builds a wider support network which increases well-being all round.

Doing kind things for strangers helps build co-operation, trust and a sense of safety in our communities. It also helps us to see others more positively and empathise with them. These are the foundations of a thriving local community and a flourishing society - one which builds well-being all round.

Kindness can be as simple as a smile, a thank-you or a word of encouragement.  It's a way of connecting, even if only for a brief moment, with those we pass in our daily lives. It doesn't have to cost anything or take much time - what's important is that it's an act of genuine care and thoughtfulness for another person. There are lots of ideas below and throughout this website.

Kind acts can be spur of the moment, like when we notice someone in need. For example, we might give up our seat on the train or pick up and return someone's glovewhen they drop it. Opportunities to be kind pop up all over the place - like handing on a newspaper we've finished reading, letting someone take our parking space or passing on an unused ticket.

Kind acts can also be thought through in advance - planning to do something for a friend, neighbour or loved one or because we want to spread some daily joy. There are unlimited ways to be kind to others - we only need to keep your eyes open and pay attention to those around us to start seeing opportunities to help.

To be kind, it's important for us to be aware of the people around us - and to notice their needs and feelings. We all have an innate compassion but sometimes it takes bit of time for us to tune into it. As the Dalai Lama says: "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible"

1.   Plan for kindness - Do some thinking about what you might do to spread some kindness - then you're more likely to spot opportunities when they come up. Make yourself a list of small actions you could take in your daily life - they don't have to cost any money at all. Think about people you know and others that you pass byin the course of the day. What could you do today or tomorrow? What do you feel drawn to doing? There are lots of ideas below to get you thinking.

2.   Have a kindness day - On a particular day, perhaps once a week, try to perform at least 5 different acts of kindness for different people. Make these things that you wouldn't ordinarily do. Afterwards, think: How did you feel after you did each act? How do you feel at the end of the day? You could also do this as a challenge with friends and get together in the evening to talk about what you got up to. Go on spread a little kindness!

3.   Do it together - Try to think about kind things you could do with friends, family or neighbours. You can swap ideas and support each other. Doing new things together helps build connections, which also increases happiness, so it's a win all round. If you've got children, get them thinking about what they can do too. Ask them what kind acts they gave or received that day - they might share some lovely stories with you!

Here's a list of 10 suggested acts of kindness to get you started:

·       Give up your seat

·       Hold a door open for someone

·       Give a (sincere) compliment

·       Make someone laugh

·       Give someone a hug

·       Take time to really listen to someone

·       Let one car in on every journey

·       Make someone new feel welcome

·       Help someone who's lost

·       Have a conversation with a stranger

Smile and the world smiles with you

Smile and the world smiles with you

In the final scene of Modern Times Charlie and the gamine set off down the road to a new life.

When they get up off the grass verge to go, he pauses and points to the corners of his mouth, indicating that she should smile.

The film soundtrack is only instrumental, but the Turner and Parsons lyrics inspire one to smile:

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile

The song by Nat King Cole always makes me smile, and I am sure there are many songs that bring a smile to you.

There are also other good reasons to smile, here are some:

#1 Smiling releases endorphins. These endorphins relieve stress and help you feel better.

#2 Smiling is known as an expression of happiness and acceptance across all cultures.

#3 Smiling is contagious. A Swedish study found that people had trouble frowning when they looked at other people who were smiling. Their muscles twitched into smiling on their own!

#4 Babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born. Smiling is something that comes naturally and isn’t learned.

#5 Smiling can reduce your blood pressure. Researchers found that when subjects smiled continuously for a minute, their blood pressure decreased.

#6 There are 19 types of smiles expressing different emotions. From heart-felt smiles to polite smiles, we can express ourselves in 19 different ways just by smiling.

There are some Health Benefits of Smiling:

You’ll live longer. Those who smile more genuinely live a whopping 7 years longer on average than those who don’t! A study at Michigan University of 230 baseball players showed that those who smiled widest and most genuinely on their baseball cards lived 79.9 years on average, compared to those who didn’t smile, only living an average of 72.9. That’s a whopping 7 year difference!      

Helps to reduce pain. People with bigger, genuine smiles display a higher pain tolerance than those who regularly frown. A study in 2008 suggested that those who smiled when heat was applied to their arms displayed a higher pain tolerance than those who frowned, or maintained a neutral expression.

You’ll be more successful. People who naturally express more genuine smiles have been known to lead happier, more successful lives – both domestically and professionally. A study at the University of California of 111 women showed that the 52% who naturally expressed genuine, Duchenne smiles in photographs were more likely to be contented and successful in life. A genuine smile also increases your chances of finding love as 58% of men and 71% of women said a smile is the most desirable feature in their ideal partner.

You’ll be happier. Smiling releases neuropeptides, helping to fight depression and stress. Smiling activates the release of neuropeptides, including dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. These work towards fighting off the negative effects of stress and depression, relaxing your body and lowering your blood pressure.

Your immune system will be stronger. Smiling has proven to improve your immune system by increasing your body’s production of HGH, the growth hormone most responsible for a strong immune system response, by 87%. This results in lower stress and inflammatory reaction, an increase in “good” cholesterol levels, ultimately reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease associated with diabetes and metabolic syndrome.

It will reduce physical causes of stress. Smiling has been shown to reduce the main stress hormones, including cortisol, epinephrine and dopac.

Smiling protects against cancer. Keeping a regular grin on your face naturally enhances the effect of immune cells and antibodies which are important in cancer defense.

Even forced smiles reduce stress! People who sported fake smiles have been shown to enjoy reduced stress levels, more positive emotions and less pain – even more so than fake smiles! A University of Kansas study showed that smiles induced with chopsticks (ouch!) reduced stress, negative emotions, and pain – but the real Duchenne smiles reduced these even more!

So, now that you know the physical and mental health benefits of smiling, what are you waiting for? More people smiling will make the world a far better place, and remember: 

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Thích Nhất Hạnh

Did you know any or all of these facts? Well if you did, smile, if you did not, now you can be prepared Smile Power Day, which is the perfect excuse to shine your pearly whites and show off those dimples. Smile Power Day is on June 15th

What is happiness?

Most philosophers and historians agree that the concept of happiness in antiquity centered around good luck and fortune, whereas contemporary Americans view happiness as something over which they have control and something that they can actively pursue.

In The Symposium, Socrates argues that the education of desire is a key to happiness. That is, Socrates insisted that children should learn to appreciate the beauty of individuals and nature, so that they can acquire the appreciation for knowledge and wisdom as adults and approach happiness properly. 

Nussbaum  argues that the dominant view today of eudaimonia (also known as Eudaemonism) is a Greek word, which refers to a state of having a good indwelling spirit or being in a contented state of being healthy, happy and prosperous. In moral philosophy, eudaimonia is used to refer to the right actions as those that result in the well-being of an individual.) as controllable stems from Kant and his influential followers. 

More importantly, Nussbaum emphasizes that Aristotle used the Greek term makariotés (fortune, blessing) interchangeably with eudaimonia, which indicates that living well to Aristotle also meant being blessed. Thus, the original meaning of happiness and a good life is being fortunate, lucky, and blessed, which were highly contingent upon external conditions. This fragile, external view of happiness was dominant for centuries. 

Over time happiness moved from being something that was external to us to an internal process. St. Thomas Aquinas clarified the role of human effort in the process of eudemonia, which he conceived as becoming closer to God. 

Aquinas claimed that partial happiness can be achieved in this life via the theological virtues’ of charity, hope, and faith. 

This signaled an important departure from ancient Greece in that Aristotle and Plato viewed happiness as something that can be achieved only by a small number of extremely fortunate and talented individuals, whereas Aquinas viewed partial happiness as obtainable by everyone via a divine gift. 

In the 16th century, Martin Luther went one step further, claiming that it was not a sin to be happy, and that Christians should be merry…To live life as a justified man was apparently to experience the world as a ‘pleasure garden for the soul.

Thomas Jefferson’s 1776, Declaration of Independence included the pursuit of happiness along with life and liberty as an unalienable right. The emphasis on an active pursuit of happiness stands in stark contrast to the more passive luck/fortune/fate concept of happiness. 

Because Jefferson was very familiar with the writings of John Locke, who had discussed the rights to life, liberty, and property a century earlier, many speculated that what Jefferson meant was the pursuit of private property and wealth. 

However, other scholars including McMahon Concepts of Happiness (2006), speculated that what Jefferson meant was the pursuit of private happiness. Jefferson firmly believed that private happiness comes from being a good citizen, rather than the pursuit of ever-evolving desires for material wealth; he also believed that maximizing private happiness does not contradict maximizing public (collective) happiness. 

In spontaneous responses to “What is happiness to you?” several German participants mentioned “surprising events,” whereas few South Africans did. This suggests that the German concept of happiness contains an element of luck and fortune. 

Wierzbicka (2004) also observed that German, French, Polish, and Russian equivalents of “happiness” and “happy” evoke a rare state, compared to English terms. This also suggests that many rare conditions need to be met (thus one must be lucky) for someone to be happy in German, French, Polish, and Russian cultural contexts. 

Happiness as luck or fortune is fairly wide-spread even today.There are variations in the definition of happiness within the same language (e.g., Australia vs. the U.S; Guatemala vs. Spain). 

This suggests the influence of local culture and history in conceptualizations of happiness. Variations in conceptualizations of happiness across languages, cultures, and time have important implications on what we mean when we say we are happy. 

Being happy is subjective and means different things to people in different parts of the world. So the idea of happiness depends on your thoughts, well-being and where you live. So as Bobby McFern sings Don't Worry be happy no matter what it means to others.

Happiness is a way of travel

Roy Goodman wrote:  "Remember, happiness is a way of travel, NOT a destination" 

Leo Buscaglia has proclaimed: "What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life."  

Dale Carnegie has advised us: "Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely upon what you think."

Hugh Downs so perfectly explains to us: "A happy person is not an individual with a given set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson always has wonderful advice about life, and he confirmed: "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does."

Abraham Lincoln told us: "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Martha Washington voiced these words: "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go." 

Ben Franklin teaches us: "The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

Lord Byron points out: "All who would win joy, must share it; happiness was born a twin." 

Burton Hills expressed: "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." 

Margaret Lee Runbeck similarly asserted: "Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

Wilhelm von Humboldt proclaimed: "I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves."

Robert Ingersoll points out: "The place to be happy is here, the time to be happy is now."

What are your thoughts on happiness?

10 Signs that You Are Happy

I have just came across with this infographics, designed by Evan Made and published by Networx, which is quite meaningful. It shows the 10 signs that you are truly happy. Which one do you currently have out of the 10 signs that makes you happy?

Rules of Happiness

I have discussed the concept of happiness in previous posts and those who know me, know that I believe you can choose to be happy or you can choose to be unhappy. Happiness is a state of mind, the problem is that many of us have not yet changed the rules we live by to allow us to be happy. Many do not know what makes them happy. You know when you're happy, and certainly no one has to tell you when you're sad. But what is it that makes a person happy?

It is important to realize that what makes you happy might depress another person. There are people, because of guilt, a feeling they do not deserve what they have, or a feeling they will lose what they have that makes them unhappy when they should be happy.

Possessions are a poor measure of happiness. Possessions are subjective and relative to the individual and the individual's viewpoint.  One way to approach happiness is to not look at stuff, but to look at enjoyment. 

Develop the paradigm (or rules you live by) of doing things you like and  enjoying , while avoiding or changing things you do not like, and accepting what you cannot avoid or change. The use of this philosophy, as embodied in the five rules, will allow you to test many problem areas in your life and find solutions. With this paradigm, you will be well on your way on your pursuit of happiness.

Rule Number One: If You Like a Thing, Enjoy It.

Now that seems outrageously simple. At first you might say, "That's ridiculous, of course if I like something I'm going to enjoy it." But when you stop to think about it you'll probably agree that there are many things in life that we like but don't enjoy. The reasons we don't enjoy things we like are (a) guilt, and (b) fear. You will not enjoy something you like if you feel guilty after having done the thing, or if you are fearful of the consequences of doing it.

Rule Number Two: If You Don't Like a Thing, Avoid It.

The second rule seems simple enough, but reflect for a moment on how many people are involved with things they do not like — a job, a person, a vehicle, a type of food, any one of a thousand things — and for some reason they don't avoid those things. "Well, I can't avoid it. I have to work there because I need the money." Or, "I have to be involved with this person for many valid reasons." How many justifications can you think of for not avoiding the things you do not like to do?

Rule Number Three: If You Don't Like a Thing, and You Cannot Avoid It, Change It.

Here again, the answer is simple: change it. But just as in avoidance we rationalize that we need something about it — the money, the time, the security — something is holding you to that particular thing if you don't like it, cannot avoid it, won't change it, but are still involved with it.

Rule Number Four: If You Don't Like a Thing, Cannot Avoid It, and Cannot or will Not Change It, Accept It.

Acceptance — now there is a catch. How can you accept something you don't like? How in the world do you accept something that is 'unacceptable'? How do you accept a situation that you're not happy with? How do you accept a person that you're not happy with? Well, you really don't have to accept anything; you can, of course, be unhappy. If you don't like it, won't change it, cannot avoid it, and will not accept it, I guarantee that you will be unhappy. There are, however, five rules to the secret of happiness, and within the fifth lies the key.

Rule Number Five: You Accept a Thing By Changing Your Attitude Towards It.

You are the result of your viewpoints and attitudes. Everything is relative to the person experiencing it. There are no absolutes — nothing is good, nothing bad, except as it relates to you. Nor is life good or bad. Life simply is. You change those things you wish by changing your viewpoint about them.

How easy yet How difficult!

Your attitudes and viewpoints are all part of your mind and once you develop the power of self mind control you will be the master of your own attitudes and viewpoints. Adjusting your personal paradigm to incorporate the ideas above  and you'll soon find yourself on the right path on the pursuit of happiness. You'll realize why people are unhappy. Eventually it will become automatic, and you'll find happiness a predominant state of mind. Once you realize the ease of acquiring this emotion, you develop an entirely new scale of highs and lows.

Unremitting happiness, of course, is not a possible or desirable state. According to the principle of rhythm, there is always an inflow and outflow, an ebb tide and a flood tide. You'll always have highs and lows — there's no way to avoid that. However, your highs will be higher and your lows will be higher. 

7 lovely logics

Thanks to my cousin Lorraine for this picture, as she said, " need to start living by these.....would have saved me some brown hairs!" I agree, and hope that I have the courage to live these as well

Ideas on how to be happy

9 Easy Steps to Be Happy in 30 Minutes By Gretchen Rubin - realsimple.com

1. Raise your activity level to pump up your energy. Take a brisk 10-minute walk. Even better…

2. Take a walk outside. Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood.

3. Reach out. Send an e-mail to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or reach out to someone new.

4. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a rush of elation.

5. Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace, a large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do.

6. Do a good deed. Introduce two people by e-mail, take a minute to pass along useful information, or deliver some gratifying praise. In fact, you can also…

7. Save someone’s life. Sign up to be an organ donor, and remember to tell your family about your decision.

8. Act happy. Fake it ’til you feel it. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood.

9. Learn something new. Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it.

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal, but in fact, research shows that happier people are more sociable, likable, healthy, and productive, and they’re more inclined to help other people. By working to boost your own happiness, you’re making other people happier, too

Some thoughts to Ponder about happiness

Neither a promotion, losing weight, finding a soul mate, writing a book, nor becoming a billionaire, will ensure happiness.

Nothing ensures happiness. No destination is great enough. No dream come true will do.

Because happiness, dear friend, that's not present at the start of a journey will not be present at its end.

10 Secrets to Happiness

This is an interesting article by Yee Shun-Jian , and I thought I would share:

1) Be happy where you are now

Right now! Be thankful for what you have, instead of moaning about what you lack. Be satisfied with what you have when you are in pursuit of what you want.

2) Happiness, more than anything, is a choice we make every day

Happiness is a conscious decision. You choose to be happy today or you choose to be miserable. Your action/reaction is determined by how you choose to perceive a situation. Andrew gave an amusing illustration of a couple surrounded by a pack of crocodiles. The man thought “OMG Crocodiles!” while his wife thought “OMG Handbags!”

3) Happiness is understanding the things we can’t change yet and working on those we can

Some things are hard to change overnight. It’s unusual to change from a pauper into a millionaire in a day. Happiness is knowing that some things take more time. We can start by working on what we can change immediately.

4) Put a smile on your face. It changes how you think.

I was teaching a friend to ice-skate last Friday evening and there was this beautiful girl I met while getting a drink. She smiled as we both walked towards the vending machine. I smiled back and allowed her to buy her drink first.

While on the ice-skating rink, we passed each other a couple of times. I was trying to keep my friend on his feet while she was falling happily on the ice with hers. Our eyes met again. She smiled and I smiled back.

Then as she was making her way out of the rink, I smiled and waved goodbye. She smiled back. I could hear her friends asking “Is that your friend?” I didn’t catch her reply but I remembered her turning towards me with another smile. I returned the smile with a wave to her bewildered friends.

We didn’t exchange a single word. We didn’t need to. The smiles were enough to brighten up both our days.

5) Whatever you get, accept it and deal with it

All too often, when something bad happens, we are too quick to point fingers and start placing blame on everyone else. Happiness is about accepting responsibility and dealing with what comes your way. Blaming the whole world is not going to solve anything.

6) Problems = Catalyst to take Action

Andrew advises to see problems as a catalyst for us to take action. Problems are good teachers, so learn to love them. Next time, when you face a problem at work/in business, remember to run up to your boss/partner and say, “We have a huge opportunity!”

7) Learn from the elephants!

How do you eat an elephant?
Answer: One bite at a time.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Answer: How do you breathe through that thing?

8 ) Put everything you have into whatever you are doing now

Do your best (100%) and life will support you!

9) It’s not what you get. It’s what you become that matters

Know what to expect – Expect a better you.

10) No one else is going to make you happier. Work on yourself.

A lot of people get things mixed up. A wife thinks about all the bad things her husband does while a widow remembers all the good stuff. That is the ultimate recipe for misery! Isn’t it better to switch the lists around?

Work on your mindset. See things from a positive light.

Conclusion

Happiness is in the way you think. No one can make you happy except yourself. To conclude this article on happiness, I would like to share with you a video of an extraordinary dog (Faith, the two legged dog). I hope Faith will teach you something about happiness that goes beyond words.

Happiness

Seven Great Tips for Finding Lasting Happiness

Source: The NLP Art and Science To Attracting Success, Wealth

Happiness is something that every man and woman desires and works towards attaining. No matter what it is that you want to bring more of into your life, finding happiness is all about taking an honest look within and being willing to make the changes necessary to get what you want.

When you can be honest with yourself and the world around you, then you can take things in the right way and work positively towards what you want to achieve. One good way to learn about yourself and the world around you is to turn to the past. They say the past is doomed to be repeated if people fail to learn from it, but there are also good lessons we can gleam from our ancestors.

Take a look back in history and you will find that there are some great ideas about how to find greater happiness that have arisen over the years. We will explore seven of the greatest tips about finding lasting happiness. Taking some of this advice to hearts could help you on your journey to happiness.

1. Appreciate the little things.

“That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.” – Henry David Thoreau

When you take the time to appreciate the little things in life, you’ll realize

just how important and pleasurable they are. Desiring expensive things seems to be normal in today’s society. Many people are so materialistic that they just seem they cannot help wanting more stuff. Even when you get the newest smart phone, car, and that fancy Internet-enabled television, will you be truly happy? Stuff is nice, but that is not what happiness is all about. Happiness is about having people to share smiles and laughs with on any given day. It is enjoying the summer’s sun and feeling comfort from a cool breeze. No amount of stuff is going to fill a void in your heart. Learn to find joy in life in the simple things, and appreciate those around you.

2. Do that which makes you happy.

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Many of desire financial success, but is getting a hefty paycheck really something that alone is going to make you happy? Just having money will not bring happiness into your life. In order to be happy with what you are doing you need to be doing something that you like.

When you work towards achieving goals in a field that you are passionate about, your life will seem so much richer. Even if you were wary about taking that teaching job because they don’t make as much money as you would like, if that is where your passion lies then you should deny yourself that career path. The act of helping mold the minds of our youth might be the thing that brings you the greatest joy. Making a difference in a child’s life is a great achievement after all.

3. Get up and go for it!

 “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Although sometimes actions can have negative consequences, you can’t let the fear of that keep you from doing something. In order to achieve happiness in life one needs to be able to take action towards achieving their goals. Remaining stationary in life will only serve to bring depression and restlessness to a person’s spirit. Don’t be afraid to go after something that you want. Even the act of pursuing something that you want to achieve can bring a certain level of happiness. Knowing that you are working towards something that you desire in life will bring positive emotions with it. Remember that nothing ventured is nothing gained. When you do make it to your goal the feeling of joy you will feel will be great.

4. Find people to share your life with.

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.” – Bernard Meltzer

You will never be truly happy if you do not have people with which to share the joys of life. Life is something that is richer when you have people around you to share your experiences. Just having friends to shoot the breeze with can be something that can make a person happy in and of itself. When you have great friends, great family and a romantic love of your life then you feel much more like a complete person. If you lack these people in your life, then do not fret because you can attract great friends into your life. If you have people in place then appreciate them and show them that you are grateful for their presence.

5. Appreciate what you have.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” – Frederick Keonig

If you cannot be content with that which you already possess, then you will forever feel like you are chasing something elusive. When you have a spirit of always wanting more, it will never be satiated. You need to be grateful for that which you already possess. Realize that you have a life of abundance already, and that all the joy you need is already surrounding you. You need only embrace an attitude of gratitude to feel the happiness present in life. Don’t take what you have for granted. The people in your life and the things you are blessed with are important, so treat them as such.

6. Live in the here and now.

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

Remember that you live in the present. What you do today will affect your future. You cannot just wait for the future to come to you, and hope that it will be a happy one. You must live in the present, embrace it and make it into your ideal life. Happiness is something that you create for yourself. It is not something that you wait for or should worry about not having done in the past. Your happiness exists in the here and now. Seize it with conviction.

7. Your outlook on life matters.

“Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is something that exists within the mind. If you can maintain a positive outlook on life, then you are far more likely to attain happiness. Looking at things from positive angles allows you to see the good in things. If you stay pessimistic then you will definitely feel unhappy, and like things are not how you wish them to be. Try to be a happy person. Look at your life with eyes of positivity. When you make up your mind and state clearly that you are determined to lead a happy life, then that life will be attracted towards you.