Visa Scam

New credit card fraud that is very clever.

Just a heads up for everyone regarding the latest in Visa fraud. Royal Bank received this communication about the newest scam. 

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want..

Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it.

This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'MasterCard'.

The scam works like this:

Person calling says - 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460, Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a marketing company based in Arizona ?' When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account.. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?' You say 'yes'. 

The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud Investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works - The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the last 3 are the Security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the last 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, 'That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?'

After you say no, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do', and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back. Within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we were glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. We made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master Card directly for verification of their conversation.. 

The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit; however, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of MasterCard' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA Scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. I dealt with a similar situation this morning, with the caller telling me that $3,097 had been charged to my account for plane tickets to Spain , and so on through the above routine.

It appears that this Is a very active scam, and evidently quite successful. 

Pass this on to all your family and friend

13 Quotes to stimulate thought in childen

At the start of the school year, here are some ideas for helping children think. 
The following quotes may be used in a variety of ways by both teachers and counsellors  One idea is for a thought to be posted, read, and discussed at the beginning of each week. It could then be read daily with the students. At the end of the week ask them what they learned or how the thought applied to their lives or activities during the week. Have the children give written or oral examples, or have them draw a picture to illustrate their ideas.

How I look is not as important as how I act.

I treat others the way I want them to treat me.

I am a good sport; I follow the rules, take turns and play fair.

It is okay to laugh at funny things, but not to laugh at others.

I do not gossip; if I cannot say anything helpful, I do not say anything at all.

When I am sad, I help myself feel better by thinking of things that are good in my life.

In order to have friends, I must act in a kind way.

I believe that I am someone who can do important things.

What I say and how I say it tells others the kind of person I am.

I appreciate my family, my teachers, and my school.

I treat everyone with respect.

When I listen, I show others that I care about them.

I am being a good citizen when I volunteer to help others.

I think for myself and make smart choices that are good for me.

Each day offers a new start to do my best.

I try to understand what my friends are feeling.

Everyone makes mistakes, so instead of getting angry with myself, I try to do better.

I do not give up; I keep trying until I can do my work.

Sharing with others makes me feel good and makes them feel good too.

I work out my problems without hurting myself or others.

I am being polite when I wait for my turn and say please and thank you.

When I smile at people, they usually smile back.

I encourage my friends to do their best.

My values guide me to do what is right.

I am honest; I do not cheat or steal.

When I am angry, I use self-control and do not hurt others.

Children's Play

As my grandson approaches three, I am fascinated by the development phases he is going through. 

Higher-level skills appear to develop in stages. Memory first emerges as a very simple function involving only the hippocampus, the part of the brain that receives and organizes new information.

 Infants as young as two months can recognize when they see something new, as shown by how long they stare at it. A child’s ability to consciously recall information at will does not begin to develop until his or her first birthday, however, and this system must mature during the next few years. 

I know that once he reaches three or four that he will start to remember our interactions with him on his own, he will create his own memories, not those suggested by others. One reason that people typically cannot remember much that happened to them before the age of 3 or 4 is that the parts of the brain necessary for recalling such memories are not “wired” then. The synaptic connections that link the hippocampus to the cerebral cortex have not yet been made. These connections become circuits as your child enters preschool. 

Meanwhile, other parts of the brain, notably the prefrontal cortex, are also developing. This enables a growing child both to understand why it is important to remember certain things and to develop tricks and strategies for recalling those things.

Three-year-old engage in more and more elaborate imaginative play. then they do as two year old's. Children at three will whip up entire make-believe scenarios with characters and events in abundance. Tricycles become cars, ambulances, motorcycles, and fire engines—complete with the appropriate noises. Simple cardboard boxes become cars, boats, trains, houses, tunnels, caves, puppet theaters, and castles. A child will love it if mom helps them construct tents and playhouses by draping blankets over chairs or tables.

When children get together with one or more three-year-olds, chances are that they'll spend at least some of their time playing house: whipping up meals, putting the "baby" to bed, and so on. 

Playing house allows every child to play roles that they've observed a lot over the years. It also gives them a chance to rehearse social interaction in a cooperative way, practice that will enhance their building of "real" friendships outside the playhouse.

In play acting, young children will imitate adult behavior, but you will notice a difference between this and fantasy play at age two. The child is no longer merely mimicking adults, but rather role-playing: inhabiting a persona and making it real. 

Play acting now is not just a matter of having the right props (although that is important), but of assuming the right attitude and saying the right words.

Most make-believe games will not require adults to participate (or even listen). Indeed, it will probably expand your child's imagination more if you allow them to make up their own scenarios rather than offering input. Letting children create her own private world. If you are invited you to play a role,by all means join in. But take the role assigned to you and let your child control the unfolding of the plot

Drowning can be prevented

The following is taken from an article in Slate, which can be found here and is an important warning for parents who take their children swimming.  

The Instinctive Drowning Response—so named by Francesco A. Pia, Ph.D., is what people do to avoid actual or perceived suffocation in the water. And it does not look like most people expect. There is very little splashing, no waving, and no yelling or calls for help of any kind. To get an idea of just how quiet and undramatic from the surface drowning can be, consider this: It is the No. 2 cause of accidental death in children, ages 15 and under (just behind vehicle accidents)—of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. In some of those drowning, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening.* Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this:

1. “Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs.
2. Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water.
3. Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe.
4. Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment.
5. From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.”

This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc.

Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water:

• Head low in the water, mouth at water level
• Head tilted back with mouth open
• Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus
• Eyes closed
• Hair over forehead or eyes
• Not using legs—vertical
• Hyperventilating or gasping
• Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway
• Trying to roll over on the back
• Appear to be climbing an invisible ladde

A crowdfunding site for women's rights

The world’s female population faces a lot of serious problems: Haitian women are dying of treatable diseases; expectant mothers in Sierra Leone have to travel long, treacherous distances to reach hospitals; Afghani girls have a 12.6 percent literacy rate--one of the lowest in the world.

The good news? You can now help solve those problems directly, thanks to a new crowdfunding website called Catapult.

Catapult was, ahem, launched in the fall of 2012 and basically brings the Kickstarter model to the world of women’s empowerment. Trusted organizations (UNICEF, V-Day and the like) post concise, actionable projects--say, cervical cancer screenings in Haiti or a literacy program conducted via cell phones in Afghanistan--and anyone can contribute as much or as little as they’d like.

To get started, log on and browse by issue or area of the world. Then click on a specific project to see what, exactly, your money would be going toward (organizers break it down very succinctly) and how much is needed for complete funding. For instance, an initiative to build birthing houses in Sierra Leone needs only $1,700 to get off the ground.

No matter what amount you donate, it will make a difference. Sign up for Catapult here, find a project to support here

Impolitical: How's your water?

Impolitical: How's your water?: THIS IS WATER - By David Foster Wallace from The Glossary on Vimeo . Watch this excellent weekend type video this mothers day and you will I hope gain some understanding into  live

How to Be Assertive Without Alienating Your Partner

Asking for what you want—and setting boundaries around what you don’t want—is a key life skill. But sometimes in our enthusiasm to practice this skill, we over-do our own assertiveness and end up with a partner who shuts down, gets angry or feels resentful. Here are four tips for developing your assertiveness in a way that will actually strengthen, deepen and enrich your relationship—thus avoiding the “alienation trap”:

1.      Get Clear.

Being assertive starts with knowing what you are—and aren’t—willing to be, do, or have. For many of us, coming to this knowledge is a real task unto itself. Here, it may be useful to ask: “In an ideal world, what would I like to happen?” Focusing on an ideal outcome opens our minds, prevents us from falling into passivity or “victim-thinking,” and helps us get really clear on what we want and don’t want.

2.      Set Boundaries.

Once you know what outcome you need (or want), share it with your partner. Pay attention to the way stating your boundary feels in your body. With practice, you can actually sense when you’re hitting the “sweet spot.” It can feel really pleasurable, even exhilarating, to express your needs or desires out loud. Phrases like “such and such doesn’t work for me” are simple ways of being assertive while maintaining connection with your partner.

3.      Make a Regular Habit of Stating Your Needs and Desires.

You can build your assertiveness the same way you build any muscle: exercise. Practice speaking up about your needs, big or small, on a daily basis.  When you speak up about things that are less controversial—such as where to go to dinner, requesting help unloading the dishwasher or what TV program to watch—both you and your partner get used to your assertiveness. It becomes easier for you to practice and for your partner to hear. Also, when bigger issues come along, you and your partner will have a healthy process in place for dealing with differences in needs, and you’ll have greater confidence in the resilience of your partnership.

4.      Give as Much as You Get.

Assertiveness is a two-way street. If you want your boundaries to be respected, you must return the courtesy to your partner. If she doesn’t want you to use the bathroom when she’s in the shower, don’t. If he asks you to give him a half an hour after work before you talk and connect, respect that. When it comes to following through on a partner’s reasonable request, actions really do speak louder than words. 

If your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries even though you’ve set them clearly, it may be time for professional help for you and/or your relationship.

Ideas for attracting good to you

1,  Keep a positive attitude. Look at the glass half full. When something bad happens look at it as on opportunity to grow or learn something new.

2.  Visualization. Visualize your life the way you want it. Be detailed and keep the image in your head to remind you through out the day.

3. Affirmations are key. Affirm what you are doing well as well as what you are going after. This also helps you stay positive.

4. Keep your eye on your goal. Whatever you are wanting in your life, keep focused on it. Do not let other things in life get in your way and distract you.

5. Move forward. Even baby steps are better than standing still. As long as you are moving toward you goal, even if it is slowly, then you should feel that you are accomplishing something.

6. Write it down. By writing your goals down, you are externalizing your internal feelings and thoughts. It also helps you stay focused.

7. Commit it to memory. By memorizing words, phrases, or images that conjure the way you want to be, you provide yourself with a mental environment to take hold of that dream.

8. Let it go. Let go of the past and its weight and disappointments. It has not part in who you want to be, so let it float on by.

9. Believe it. Say it, think it, and believe it. Believing in a different way creates attitude changes which create action changes, which creates life changes.

10. Own it. Make your vision your own. Take ownership of it like it is your prized possession. It is yours and no one can take it away.

Don't forget to smile.

Here are some very interesting facts about smiling that you may not already know.

 

1. Smiling releases natural pain killing endorphin's and serotonin, even when a smile is forced!  Its like a natural feel good antidepressant!

 

Just by smiling, your mood is lifted. You can literally trick your body into feeling good! It actually takes more effort for your body to frown than to smile.

 

So frowning sends a signal to your mind something is wrong and this leads to stress.

 

Try to smile at least 1 hr a day consistently for a week and see what happens to your stress levels and mood.

 

2. Smiling reduces your blood pressure.

If you have a blood pressure monitor, take a reading before and after smiling for a few minutes.

 

Notice a difference?

3. Smiling makes you more attractive + successful.

People are more attracted to you when you smile.

 

It makes you appear more confident and a safe person to be around.

 

Successful people are successful because of their ability to attract the right people.

 

So when you are in a meeting or at work smile brightly and see what happens to your day when you do!

Smiling is contagious.

 

Send a big smile out to room full of people and see what happens!

I am sending you some smiles as I write this!

Peace and blessings

  

New Years resolutions, is it too late?

The New Year, and the new Mayan cycle are with us and have been for a while. Life goes on and many of us who have sat down and made New Years resolutions are now reconsidering them or have already decided to not follow through on them. However, I would encourage you to consider following some of the following tips to help you become more conscious this year so that you can have the life you want.

1.Take time to plan. Invest time in working out a long term and short term financial plan. The worst thing one can do is start trying to accumulate wealth without a real idea of what they are going to do tomorrow.

2. Pay yourself first. One simple word, save. Before you pay rent, bills and the like, pay yourself that is why you work. Take it out of the money been before it gets passed around. Warren Buffet said something like you should save first and then spend what is left over. 

3. Invest wisely. Research stocks and know the amount of money you are willing to lose. High return equals high risk. Stay diversified and you should not be disappointed.

4. Use cash. Using cash not only gives you bargaining power, but it also brings spending to a more tactile experience. It is much easier to impulse buy with a card, but counting out the cash is a bit harder to do.

5. Do not depend on a credit card. Credit cards are not bad in and of  themselves, but if you are relying on a credit card to pay your rent or bills, then you have a serious problem. Get on your feet first.

6. Pay off debt. Get the monkey off of your back and pay off those outstanding credit card bills or your student loans. Your personal net worth will never increase until debt is g-o-n-e.

7. Pay cash for big ticket items. This makes you save and think about whether or not you really need that 80 inch plasma TV. It also gives you bargaining power at the check out stand. Try it, it works.

8. Shop around. Prices on big ticket items and even cars and comparable houses vary from street to street. Know what is the going rate in a given area for a given item.

9. Give to charities. Read any book about people who were able to amass a ton of wealth and they will say that they gave to charities on a consistent basis. Karma, anyone?

10. Budget. Take control of your money, do not let it control you. Budgeting allows you to tell your money where to go and what to do. It is the single most helpful practice to get into on one’s way to becoming wealthy

Take the time to relax

It’s a great feeling to achieve success in your work life. When things are going well it is very easy to get completely wrapped up in your work and dedicate vast amounts of time towards it. But is it a good thing to dedicate so much time to your work life? There are benefits from taking work seriously and being business minded, but focusing entirely on your life can have negative effects as well.

If you do not take the time to let yourself unwind, it can lead to some serious fatigue problems, and you may begin to feel burned out. In a burned out state you are never as productive. There are ways to avoid letting this happen by balancing your work life properly with times of calm, recreation and relaxation. Below there are tips for achieving a good balance for your work life. If you follow some or all of these, it will help to relieve a lot of stress from your day-to-day operations.

1. Lessen the amount of time you work.

This may not be possible for everyone, but for entrepreneurs, small business owners and freelance workers of all sorts, this can be a good method to lessen your stress. Sometimes people in these career paths can feel like they are always working since they are their own bosses for the most part, but limiting the days you work a week to four or five can work wonders. A little extra time off can help one recharge their batteries.

2. Consistently work in the same place.

For freelancers and entrepreneurs it can be easy just to start working at any time or anywhere. You just pull out your laptop or smart phone and go about business with this mindset. It can be best for you mentally to keep your work confined to a particular space. When you get used to working in your living room for instance, when you are trying to relax there it will always feel like you are working. You begin to associate work with that place. Keeping your work in a designated office space can keep this from happening.

3. Make time for loved ones.

Try to schedule the times you are working so that you can still spend time with family and friends. It is not good to be so wrapped up in work that you neglect the relationships with those close to you. If your spouse is always free on a Tuesday, try to schedule that as a day off for yourself as well. Enjoy time with your loved ones.

4. Leave your phone off sometimes.

Many of us feel attached at the hip to our smart phones these days. They are such useful devices and keep us in touch with business partners and friends alike. On your days off when you are having a relaxed evening with your spouse of friends though, turn it off. Do not let it distract you constantly.

5. No guilty feelings about not working.

Do not let yourself feel guilty for enjoying some good “me time.” Sometimes when you are a driven individual you get it in your head that all your time should be spent on productively working towards goals. You need the down time though. Your hard work should be for the purpose of ensuring the happiness of your lives and the lives of your loved ones. Take the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Stories of life

We create our reality out of stories around us, those we create for our self, stories our mind accept, and our senses create emotional sensations inside us. The stories, which create an emotional sensation within us, are hard to knock out, as they can create patterns within us. To get back in balance we may use therapy, rehab, diets, but we have to remember it is just a story we have bought and believed.

We may see the story as reality, and believe it to be real but our senses and feelings can also misguide us, as we only understand sensations from them.

Everything is a story, where there is life, there is a story, the question is what sort of story? Is a story that is created out of the environment or a story that is created through understanding and conscious observations without judgement a better or just a different story?

I am starting to see those stories as streams of sounds, images, words passing around me, as streams of energy.

All life on earth is a social experiment; no one owns the truth. Only consciousness will set you free, and freedom is movement of thought, not options to buy stuff. However, remember it is just movement, everything we see as real is just movement of time, and with time they will no longer be real

Thoughts on Peace (continued)

Here are some more of best ideas or pieces of advice we can glean from Gandhi to change our world for the better

5. You must change yourself to change the world.

The world is not always exactly how we want it to be. Sitting at home and hoping things will get better one day will do little or nothing towards making that a reality. In order to change the world people need to change themselves. The healing starts at home so to speak.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

If the world were to change and you were to do nothing to change yourself, you would still be a part of the problem. We must seek to continually change our world by making it a little bit better as time flows forward. By inspiring change in your person you can inspire those around you. Simple things such as treating others with kindness, being slow to anger and accepting others for who they are regardless of personal prejudices are great ways to start.

6. Ideas need action to give them meaning.

Ideas are an incredible thing. Concepts such as democracy, freedom and justice look great on paper or in an individual’s head. What if those ideas had never come to fruition though? Without action the ideas are just pretty thoughts floating in the air. Action is what can bring an idea to life and help change our surroundings for the better.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

Letting your ideas be known is positive in its’ own way, but showing people how they work through individual action is the way to go. Dialogue is a part of the process of initiating changes, but ideas must be put into practice. Get out there and start that neighborhood watch to try to deter the heightening crime rate in your neighborhood. Put your ideas and words to good use.

7. Understand that we live in the present.

The past and future are great concerns for many. People look to the past longingly for times that they cherished. They worry about the future for the sake of their children, wondering what type of world we are leaving to them. In order to honor the memory of the past and ensure the future is a great one to leave to our children, we must live in the present.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

The present moment in time is the one we have control over. We can change the way things are now by living our lives as best we can. We can mold the future through our actions now, but if we do nothing but think about times past and times to come the moment will pass us by. There is no going back to a moment in time. Let your mind live in the here and now.

8. Possess the spirit to endure.

Things in life that are worth achieving often do not come in the blink of an eye. Having a spirit that is willing to endure tough times and continue to strive forward is an important quality in achieving great things in this world. One cannot give up due to not getting the result they want the first time out of the gate.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Being an individual who will persist in the pursuit of your ideals or goals can win you the day. Those who oppose your progress will fall by the wayside while you remain unwavering. It is the person with the most resolve who gets their desire.

9. See the good in your fellow man.

No person is without their faults. Understanding that all human beings are prone to being imperfect, we must see the good in our fellow man. By helping one another and promoting good will the whole world’s situation can improve.

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

By understanding that we all have things we wish to improve on, we can help each other live fuller lives. Humanity never would have come as far as it has if not for men working together to build civilization to this point. Our continued partnerships and relationships will propel us forward for years to com. It is important to get along with each other and to be accepting. When you are with a person understand the goodness within them. Don’t judge them for what they aren’t, form a bond with what they are.

10. Continually evolve and grow.

We possess the abilities to learn, increase our skills, and come to a better understanding of so many different things. It is important not to be stagnant in life, because only by continuing to improve one’s self can one keep up with the changing world around us.

“Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

If you are a man who is unwilling to adapt you will not last in the world. Certainly, elasticity is a great quality to possess. Rigidity of belief and expectations can be a person’s undoing. Continually be willing to learn new things and change accordingly.

Are you constantly and improving yourself each day?

Some thoughts on Peace at this time of year 1

Mahatma Gandhi is a renowned figure in world history. His dedication to the principles of peacefulness is legendary and he was able to accomplish many great things in his life. He is the man who led his Indian people to gain their independence from British rule in 1947, and the philosophy of the man lives on in the hearts of many to this day. Gandhi’s ideas were simple and came from a positive place in his heart, mind, and soul. Here are some of best ideas or pieces of advice we can glean from Gandhi to change our world for the better.

1. Learn to forgive your friends as well as your enemies.

This is a principle you can find in many religions, and the intent and concept behind it come from love and a desire to abstain from violence and negative thoughts. When you are wronged or hurt by another the natural response may be to lash out or seek revenge. So many times we hear of jilted lovers doing terrible things in the heat of passion or friendships ending due to misunderstandings.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

It does take a certain strength to forgive someone who has wronged you. Realize that revenge will not erase the wrong that was done, it will only create more hurt. Do not let yourself become a part of a vicious cycle of revenge. Listen to these famous words from Gandhi himself:

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Revenge is a cyclical thing. Once you carry out your vengeance, you will bring more negativity and wrong down upon your head. If you can search within and find the strength to forgive your friends and foes alike, then that is far more admirable and better for the world.

2. Realize that no one is perfect.

Perfection is an ideal that no man can realistically attain. We are all flawed beings despite our best intentions. It takes a humble sprit to continue to become better and better. The way to achieve this is through admitting your mistakes and learning from them as best you can.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

With a spirit of humility you can see where you went wrong. You can’t let pride blind you in this regard. To do so would be to never truly evolve. The same mistakes would continually pop up in your life because you never properly learn your lesson.

3. To thine own self be true.

Yes, that line was from the famous Shakespeare play Hamlet. The words of Gandhi speak to us and say that we would do well to align our thoughts, actions and words. In doing so we stay true to ourselves.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”

If more people were truly happy it would make the world a better place. Negativity in the world often comes from a bitter spirit, jealousy and hate. Happiness embodies all of the great things about the world such as love, prosperity and justice. When you are not afraid to do what you are thinking and the words coming out of your mouth ring true you are living your life as you see fit. To be true to yourself is a great thing. Follow your heart and let all facets of your being be guided by it.

4. Understand you are in control of your own life.

Sometimes people blame others for their misfortune. They try to find a convenient scapegoat so that they don’t have to feel bad about their failures. This isn’t a healthy way to think of things though and it leads to a bad place. It must be understood that each human is in control of his or her life. Certainly other people can influence you in many ways. Even if others lead you down a bad path the choice was yours to follow that individual.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

Gandhi understood that ultimately each person is responsible for their choices and actions in life. Be mindful of this when living your life and it will help you to want to make the best decisions possible. If you follow the crowd and do not like where you end up, you were still in control of what you were doing. Forge your own path in life, and have a smile on your face when you reach your destination.

Question of the Day

I got this idea from reading Shakesville, and thought since writers block has come over me again, I would try it for a day or so here so my first question was suggested by JetGirl:

If you could go back and redo one year of your life, with the full knowledge and maturity you have now, which would it be?
Comments welcome

Vanishing white males--my age group is in decline--who knew?

According to the pundits in the US the election was lost by the Republicans because the older white male is a vanishing breed. For sake of full disclosure, I am a white older male. I don't like stereotyping, so when the pundits start talking about the breakdown of the election in the US by breaking the voters down by race, age, sex, etc, it made me sad. I am saddened because they appear to take the numbers and then broadly generalize about people, and that is wrong.

Statistical analysis makes sense in the aggregate, not on the micro level. If a group moves in a certain direction for a reason, it does not mean that I as an individual within the group move in the same direction for the same reasons and for the pundits to classify the movement of the group and then attribute the reasons at an individual level is applying fuzzy logic, but it does keep them employed.


White males governed the United States exclusively for a very long time, and the integration of other ethnicities into their power structure has been slow at best. Despite the presence of many non-whites in their country throughout history, there is some truth that early Americans largely perceived the United States to be a country by and for white people.

Abraham Lincoln was among many presidents who, at least for most of his life, firmly believed this. Until about the time he became president, he believed the final solution to our racial problem was to create a Negro colony somewhere and move American Negroes there. (The bravery of African American troops in the Civil War helped convince him otherwise.)

White (Caucasian) Americans remain in the majority, but by the time but if you follow the demographic trends out a century or so, Hispanics will likely form a new plurality of Americans, and white Americans will be just another sizeable minority. Like Afrikaners, White men are likely to exert a political and financial power that will seem inconsistent with our size

I am glad that the old white men of my age are declining in power. I think of an old saying that goes something like this for Canadians, :"When you are young you are a New Democrat, when you are middle aged you become a Liberal, and when you are old you become a Conservative". For others the saying might be paraphrased as" When you are young you are a progressive, and when you are middle aged you become a moderae, and when you are older you become a conservative" 

When I was young I was a progressive, and when I was middle aged I was a progressive and as I age I still am a progessive. Perhaps I have not grown up as much as some of my friends who have become more conservative in their views. I still believe that we can become a just and open society, that provides opportunities for all no matter what they are or what background they have.

I also believe that to do this individuals need help in understanding their own paradigms as well as help to overcome and to change those paradigms. My friends for the most part do not share this ideal and put more emphasis on the need for the individual to "pull themselves  up and become successful", just like my friends did.

My friends however, forget that they had help along the way in many ways, one of which was to be born as an early Baby Boomer.  As a result of being born at the head of a giant wave of humanity, we have been able to take advantage and move into jobs and leadership positions.

When I was younger I saw many injustices against people because of who they were, or what they believed, and did what I could to change societal views.  We need to continue to fight against injustice and if that means that my generation of men is sidelined so much the better for humanity.

I also believe that some of us as older white male have contributed enormously to success and our efforts  may predict future success.  But this will only happen if we stop feeling sorry for our loss of power and start working to the common good and the pundits stop downplaying our impact.

Fear of Change

 People facing unexpected challenges in their lives often experience a great deal of fear, helplessness, and hopelessness, or they have anxiety of the unforeseeable outcome of surviving the challenging event which can lead to feelings of powerlessness and being out of control. In some cases people crumble under the challenge of surviving in every dimensions of their lives: physical, emotional and Spiritual The following is taken from Jamesjimessina.com

To help a person survive sudden change or an unexpected challenge I want to talk about spirituality. This is at one level, the way in which people understand their lives in view of their ultimate meaning and value. Many people also believe that spirituality gives a person a sense of peace, purpose, and connection to others, and gives meaning to the beliefs one has about the meaning of life. At a higher level Spirituality is a universal concept found in all cultures considered to encompass a search for existential or ultimate meaning through religion or other paths

People facing unexpected challenges or changes, often wonder about concerns related to:

·         Control – How can I retain control in my life?

·         Identity – Just who am I and who will I be once I go through this challenge in my life?

·         Relationships – What will my relationships be like once I go through this challenge in my life?

·         Meaning – What is the meaning of my life now that I am facing this unexpected challenge in my life?

In his groundbreaking work Man’s Search for Meaning-An Introduction to Logotherapy (Frankl, 1963) Frankl, who survived life in a concentration camp in which he lost all of those people he loved, gave us an insight into the spiritual issues faced by people challenged by the unexpected in life:

1.    “That which does not kill me, makes me stronger”-Nietzsche quoted by Frankl

2.    “Suffering will not destroy humans; rather suffering without meaning destroys”

3.     Love "is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire."  (1963, pp. 58-59)

4.    "Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation."   (1963, p. 68)

5.    "...everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."  (1963, p. 104)

6.    “(T)here is also purpose in that life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior:  namely, in man's attitude to his existence, and existence restricted by external forces....  Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.”  (1963, p. 106)

7.    Man "can only live by looking to the future." (1963 , p. 115) 

8.    "The prisoner who had lost faith in the future -- his future -- was doomed." (1963, p. 117)

9.    “He who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how." (Friedrich Nietzsche, quoted in 1963, p. 121)

10. "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." (1963 , p. 172)