Aging: The inevitability and challenges of growing older

As I am now officially an "old age pensioner" I think many believe that I should be looking at the world through different eyes. I am not sure that as I age, my perception will or should change. I know that my definition of "old" has not changed for many years.

I define a person that is "old" as someone who is at least 10 years older then me. I find that I am not alone in this perception, and this article presents a slightly different view of the idea of aging.

This is an interesting article that speaks to an issue that I find interesting. Published Wednesday, November 9, 2011 written by Rebecca Lippel,who is the manager of Family Centers' Friendly Connections senior outreach program

One's age is often a sensitive topic and is very much a part of the aging process and how we embrace it. In general, individuals have a hard time dealing with getting older -- and understandably so. Our roles personally and professionally shift, children begin their own lives and families, responsibilities change and so do our bodies. All of these life changes can be very challenging for someone and no matter when it happens it seems to sneak up on us.

One of the most interesting aspects of the aging process is perception. Here, perception relates to how a person perceives themselves and what age they feel like. Here is a challenge, call or visit with a family member who is older than you and ask them what age they feel like they are. Very few people will respond that they feel like their actual chronological age.

For example, a senior who is 88-years-old may be speaking to his/her case manager and in order to get them more socially active to improve his/her health the case manager may suggest they get involved with the local senior center or a senior outreach program. However, the senior responds with, "No, that's for old people." This type of a response indicates the 88-year-old does not perceive himself/herself as a senior citizen and as someone who is entitled to take advantage of a service designed for older adults though being a seasoned octogenarian it would be expected that he/she accepts the services.

Because of personal perception we must be sensitive to people and their aging process whether this be personally -- with our family and friends, ourselves even -- or professionally, when working with aging clients. For example, AARP is marketed as a membership organization for adults 50 and older. As we know, 50 does not look like what it used to. To engage 50 year olds as older adults is no longer appropriate for our quickly changing society.

Because there seems to be an increased sensitivity to the aging process, people tend to struggle when it comes time to care for an aging family member or loved one. This is certainly a very challenging role on its own, but with the added weight of internalizing the process it becomes daunting. Becoming a familial caregiver can remind a person of their own aging process and mortality. No one wants to be reminded that they are getting older and life is changing. Change in general is a hard thing for many people, and when it is in the form of aging it is easy to become anxious. Change is not always easy, but it is a common element of life, and while we are not always able to embrace it with open arms, we can work on accepting that various aspects such as aging will change at some point and work on it from there.

The aging process is an odd element of life. It is not cookie cutter and will not look the same for each person. It can be challenging but it doesn't always have to be. Many of history's greatest inventors, artists and musicians have produced masterpieces well into their golden years.

More commonly, many use their retirement years as a time to engage in volunteer activities to give back, travel, enjoy family and loved ones and engage in activities that they find personally fulfilling.

At the end of the day there are two inevitabilities in life that just simply cannot be avoided: Paying your taxes and aging.

What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

My brother-in-law has a simple yet effective visual which he uses to explain why people should retire or move on things they are waffling on. First here is a chart of life expectancy in various countries (The pic is from this link and was posted on November 10, 2007 by Greg Mankiw

 So back to the visual

============================================================

0          10        20        20        40        50        60        70        77.3

==============================================

0          10        20        20        40        50        60    65            77.3

                                                                              X (where I am on the scale)

If you are a Canadian your average life expectancy is 77.3 years. So if you take your age and show it on the chart you will see how much time you have left. The question to ask is how many of those years are productive healthy years and how many will be spent battling sickness. My chart is below the age expectancy chart. My brother in law uses a tape measure for greater effect. Try it at home. Take a tape measure and using the chart above measure out your life expectancy, then check how much time you have left. The last few years will go quickly, so use them wisely as there is no second chance at life

The good news is the younger you are the longer you may live. The chart below shows the life expectancy of those born in the various decades in Canada since 1920 by sex and by province. So if you want to be exact then use the figures below when you create your own measurement. It may make you feel better.

Health-adjusted life expectancy, by sex

	20011
	Life expectancy at birth2	Health-adjusted life expectancy at birth3	Difference
	years
Canada4
Males	76.9	68.3	8.6
Females	82.0	70.8	11.2
Difference between females and males	5.1	2.5	...
Newfoundland and Labrador
Males	75.1	68.4	6.7
Females	80.4	70.2	10.2
Difference between females and males	5.3	1.8	...
Prince Edward Island
Males	75.2	67.3	7.9
Females	82.0	71.7	10.3
Difference between females and males	6.8	4.4	...
Nova Scotia
Males	76.2	66.5	9.7
Females	81.3	70.1	11.2
Difference between females and males	5.1	3.6	...
New Brunswick
Males	76.0	67.4	8.6
Females	81.8	70.9	10.9
Difference between females and males	5.8	3.5	...
Quebec
Males	76.3	69.0	7.3
Females	82.1	72.0	10.1
Difference between females and males	5.8	3.0	...
Ontario
Males	77.3	68.2	9.1
Females	82.0	70.1	11.9
Difference between females and males	4.7	1.9	...
Manitoba
Males	75.5	66.7	8.8
Females	81.2	70.4	10.8
Difference between females and males	5.7	3.7	...
Saskatchewan
Males	76.2	67.3	8.9
Females	81.7	70.2	11.5
Difference between females and males	5.5	2.9	...
Alberta
Males	77.0	67.6	9.4
Females	82.1	69.7	12.4
Difference between females and males	5.1	2.1	...
British Columbia
Males	78.0	68.9	9.1
Females	82.9	71.2	11.7
Difference between females and males	4.9	2.3	...
1. The estimates are based on two years of death data (2000 and 2001). 2. Life expectancy is the number of years a person would be expected to live, starting at birth, if the age- and sex-specific mortality rates for a given observation period (such as a calendar year) were held constant over the estimated life span. 3. Health-adjusted life expectancy is a more comprehensive indicator than that of life expectancy because it introduces the concept of quality of life. Health-adjusted life expectancy is the number of years in full health that an individual can expect to live given the current morbidity and mortality conditions. Health-adjusted life expectancy uses the Health Utility Index (HUI) to weigh years lived in good health higher than years lived in poor health. Thus, health-adjusted life expectancy is not only a measure of quantity of life but also a measure of quality of life. Life expectancy at birth, by sex, by province Males Females years Canada 1920 to 1922 59 61 1930 to 1932 60 62 1940 to 1942 63 66 1950 to 1952 66 71 1960 to 1962 68 74 1970 to 1972 69 76 1980 to 1982 72 79 1990 to 1992 75 81 2000 to 2002 77 82 2005 to 2007 Canada 78 83 Newfoundland and Labrador 76 81 Prince Edward Island 78 83 Nova Scotia 77 82 New Brunswick 77 83 Quebec 78 83 Ontario 79 83 Manitoba 77 82 Saskatchewan 77 82 Alberta 78 83 British Columbia 79 84 Source: Statistics Canada, CANSIM, table 102-0512 and Catalogue no. 84-537-XIE. Last modified: 2010-06-21. For more information, consult Health in Canada

Agism alive and well

Sixty isn't the new 40, and 80 isn't the new 60. I know it. You know it. So why do we buy into it?

By Lillian B. Rubin published Wednesday, Aug 3, 2011 21:01 ET published here.

 I don't know about you, but the chirpy tales that dominate the public discussion about aging -- you know, the ones that tell us that age is just a state of mind, that "60 is the new 40" and "80 the new 60" -- irritate me. What's next: 100 as the new middle age?

Sure, aging is different than it was a generation or two ago and there are more possibilities now than ever before, if only because we live so much longer. it just seems to me that, whether at 60 or 80, the good news is only half the story. For it's also true that old age -- even now when old age often isn't what it used to be -- is a time of loss, decline and stigma.
Yes, I said stigma. A harsh word, I know, but one that speaks to a truth that's affirmed by social researchers who have consistently found that racial and ethnic stereotypes are likely to give way over time and with contact, but not those about age. And where there are stereotypes, there are prejudice and discrimination -- feelings and behavior that are deeply rooted in our social world and, consequently, make themselves felt in our inner psychological world as well.
I felt the sting of that discrimination recently when a large and reputable company offered me an auto insurance policy that cost significantly less than I'd been paying. After I signed up, the woman at the other end of the phone suggested that I consider their umbrella policy as well, which was not only cheaper than the one I had, but would, in addition, create what she called "a package" that would decrease my auto insurance premium by another hundred dollars. How could I pass up that kind of deal?
Well ... not so fast. After a moment or two on her computer, she turned her attention back to me with an apology: "I'm sorry, but I can't offer the umbrella policy because our records show that you had an accident in the last five years." Puzzled, I explained that it was just a fender bender in a parking lot and reminded her that she had just sold me an insurance policy. Why that and not the umbrella policy?

• Continue reading

She went silent, clearly flustered, and finally said, "It's different." Not satisfied, I persisted, until she became impatient and burst out, "It's company policy: If you're over 80 and had an accident in the last five years, we can't offer you an umbrella policy." Surprised, I was rendered mute for a moment. After what seemed like a long time, she spoke into the silence, "I'm really sorry. It's just policy." To continue reading go here

Another year older

Tennessee Ernie Ford in the 50's had a great song that I used to listen to on my transistor radio when I delivered papers. 16 tons was a rockabilly song about a depressing subject but it was great to dance and listen to if you did not pay much attention to the lyrics and the message of the song.
Today I am another day older, and I hope that St. Peter Don't call me cause I can't go
I have to much energy to release my soul

As we move into the new year I wish all of you a  great and wonderful year and one that I hope you get your wishes and  what your hearts truly values. As I turn 64 I consider myself and my generation very lucky and still alive and making a difference. What we do as individuals is important to us and to the people around us, stay positive, stay in touch and stay focused on what you think is important in the year 2011.

To those of us born 1946-1960

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,

 WE ARE AWESOME !!!

OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF !!!

To Those of   Us  Born

1946 - 1960 :

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

'40s, '50s, '60s !!

 

First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank
While they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that trauma, we were

 

Put to sleep on our tummies
In baby cribs covered
With bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,

And, when we rode our bikes,
We had baseball caps,
Not helmets, or no caps at all on our heads.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

 

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

 

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight.

WHY?

 Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.
--And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building
Our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill,

Only to find out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem..

We did not have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were

• No video games, no 150 channels on cable,
• No video movies or DVDs,
• No surround-sound or CDs,
• No cell phones,
• No personal computers,
• No Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS

And we went outside and found  them!

 

We fell out of trees, got cut,
Broke bones and teeth,
And there were no lawsuits
From those accidents.

 

 We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms, and mud pies
Made from dirt, and
The worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and
although we were told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes.

 

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Team Sports had tryouts
And not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn
To deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our generations has produced some of the best   risk-takers, Problem solvers, and inventors ever.

The past 50 to years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas..We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.  if YOU are one of those born

  

Between 1946-1960, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives  for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

A partial response to thoughts on middle aged sex appeal by Lance Mannion

I read this blog the other day and I laughed as the humour speaks to me and probably many other men, thank you Mr. Mannion for an enjoyable read on a gray cloudy day. You can find the blog at this Lance Mannion

But for now, there’s also the problem of that hormone drop which has the effect of making women of a certain ageless interested in sex (at least for a certain key number of years) and one of the things that makes a person interested in having sex with another person is that person’s interest in having sex.



But the same thing does happen to men. That certain age does arrive, and sooner than the men themselves know.

I agree, as a boomer, I am sure that I did not start to understand myself until I was well passed my prime and I also don't think men are ready to admit to this at any age. I think the Mac Davis song Hard to be Humble says a lot about where some men think they want to rate.

Sooner than they are ready to admit, at any rate.

Actually, I think a lot of women admit to it too soon, that they underestimate the allure of a good figure, a youthful attitude, and a sparkling personality, but that’s another post, and probably one I don’t have the courage to write, but back to men.
Lance, you are, I think partially right, in that both men and women, do underestimate the allures you mention, but as a boomer, I think our definitions of what makes a good figure has changed as has my definitions of youthful attitude and sparkling personality. My "maturity" may come into play, or maybe just my failing eyesight.

A trouble people have adjusting to getting older is that bodies don’t age all of a piece. The parts of us that make us desirable age faster than the parts of us that make us desire.  Our spirits and personalities do age and they age in response to the aging of our bodies, and you would think that a man who knows he can’t vault parking meters anymore would know he can’t do other things either. But as other parts of our psyches decline, one thing seems to grow stronger. Our vanity.

Many of us have heard the quote "Vanity, thy name is woman" and attribute it to William Shakespeare. What he actually wrote was: “Frailty, thy name is woman”, which Hamlet said about the marriage of his mother, Queen Gertrude, to her husband’s brother Claudius only a month after the King had passed away. Over the years the quote changed to the quote we hear today. Maybe it was probably created by some editor trying to think of a good title, a pun really, for his piece on why women are obsessed with looking young.

That certain age arrives. The hormone levels drop. The bald spot expands, the wrinkles deepen, the jeans start hanging slack in the rear. And Vanity says, Nah!

Vanity says It’s not happening or if it is it doesn’t matter or if it does matter, it matters generally, but not to a stud like you.


Vanity says, And anyway, you deserve one last chance.


And vanity isn’t always talking about sex.


I agree that this isn’t just an issue women face. Men are equally as temperamental about their body image and will seek unusual and even extreme methods. Today men are just as likely to get plastic surgery as women. The field of employable men grows as new members are entering the job market at younger ages and the older members are staying on the market longer. It isn’t unusual for men to get liposuction, eye and chin lifts, and hair implants. All this for the appearance of youth. All this for the ability to say, “I have the experience and I look fit enough to use it.” Beyond the superficial though, men are also want to be perceived as sexually whole and functional.


It’s just that in this case that’s what I’m talking about.


Vanity conquers some men right way and with obvious sad results. They buy the convertible. They do the comb-over or the equivalent, applying Rograine, shaving the whole head, buying the rug, or going in for plugs. They start thinking that biochemically induced four hour erections are what nature intended.


They might as well wear signs. “I Am One of Those Middle-Aged Men.”
In my 40's and 50's I watched as many of my friends went through this stage, I was amazed at the number of ways that my colleagues could make fools of themselves, what surprised me is that the women in their lives never told them.


But for other men, Vanity lies in wait. It sits back, reading a newspaper or surfing the web, patiently, knowing that the moment of weakness will come when the man in question, whom Vanity has been indulging with the foolish idea that he will never be one of those middle-aged men is suddenly shaken by the realization that he misses going to the beach with Cameron Diaz lookalikes and that an older, dumpier, grayer, dweebier man like Mark Souder has been enjoying the company of a cute Hoosier hausfrau who looks good in, and probably out of, her Christmas sweaters. And when that moment arrives Vanity puts aside its paper, sets down its iPad, steps up and throws a friendly arm around the poor, disappointed, and self-loathing man’s slumping shoulders and says, Why not you too?


The issue here, then, Nance, and now I’m addressing you as a pal and not just as a rhetorical device, isn’t whether or not I’d give in to temptation and why I’d be such an old fool.


I don’t know.
The issue is that I want to know.


One way or the other.

I want the temptation.



More humiliating to admit. I still expect the temptation.
The disappointing point is that I failed in my resolve.
I am one of those middle-aged men.

But the good news is that you will outgrow this wish and realize that there is a  rich tapestry of life that surrounds you and keeps you young without being foolish. Maintain your sense of humour, laugh, and enjoy the freedom that being young means and you will never one of those middle aged men, you will be one of those middle aged boomers who is well on the way to becoming a boomer not a senior.