Baking at Christmas

An oldie but a goodie. Once again, this year, I’ve had requests for my Whisky Christmas Cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)

1 cup sugar,

1 tsp. baking powder,

1 cup water,

1 tsp. salt,

1 cup brown sugar,

Lemon juice,

4 large eggs,

Nuts,

2 bottles Whisky,

2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Whisky to check quality.

Take a large bowl,

check the Whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality

then Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the Whisky is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor,

wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers,

just pry it loose with a drewscriver

Sample the other bottle of Whisky to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

Check the Whisky.

Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find sample the whiskers

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the door

Finish the Whisky and wipe the counter with the cat.

Advice on Children and other thoughts

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding.

He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "l sure hope this parrot can talk.

I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer. "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

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A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it.

The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car.

They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said, "Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never

changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.   Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

Facebook wisdom

Facebook has some people that post stuff that they think is interesting, and wise. So, I took the time on a rainy day to compile a number of posts that pass for Facebook wisdom, enjoy:

I Googled my symptoms: It turns out I’m just lazy.

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Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “HA HA, HA you think that’s bad? Watch this!

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Papa Bear is such a sweet may to describe the fact that I'll tear you open and eat your insides if you hurt my child. 
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It doesn’t matter who hurt you or broke you down what matters is who made you smile again. 
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Just because l disagree with you does not mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society. 
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I know I don't have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with...

I would hate to be wasteful 
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Not everyone is given the chance to grow old. So, appreciate and be thankful for every single day of your life. 
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Children raised in chaos become adults who live in chaos. Give your child a childhood they don't have to heal from. 
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Our well-behaved firstborn, gave us the confidence to be good parents. Our wild-child second kid, taught us not to judge other parents. 
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Have you ever walked up to a car that looks like yours in a parking lot and you try to open the door? “Whoops.” 
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September 22nd is the first day of Fall. Not today. Not tomorrow. Put down the pumpkin, and stop being a life ruiner.

PS. Pumpkin spice causes constipation.

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How to tell you're a senior:

· you gain 3O lbs overnight

· you would rather sleep than go out

· everything hurts

· comfort comes before style

· you have a favorite spatula

· everything feels like a chore

· college students look like they are 12 years old

· you're always annoyed at people younger than you 
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A Grandparent thinks about their Grandchildren Day and Night. Even if they are not with them, they are always in their heart.

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Parenting is wanting to be with your child forever one minute and being tempted to sell them the next. 
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If we all just switched to cursive and stick shift cars, we could cripple an entire generation. 
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When family or friends go through life not speaking to one another, the day will come when you regret it. It's called "the funeral!" 
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Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the one’s grammar use to make? Now I'm blocked. 
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"You are still a Rock-star”, I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin & climb in bed at 9:45 
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The older I get the earlier it gets late. 
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Me: “ALEXA, remind me to go to the gym.”

ALEXA: “I have added gin to your shopping list.” 
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Never walk a mile in my shoes. You'll just end up Drunk, Lost, and looking for your shoes! 
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Don’t compare your life to others. There's no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it's their time. 
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Accept the good in your life. Like me. I am a fantastic delight. 
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To the person that stole my glasses. I will find you. I have contacts. 
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And finally a question, “What's the right age to Stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?  
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Initiatives to reduce isolation 2

Governments funding of programs for seniors are not enough, which means many of the programs are underutilized because of a lack of awareness. These services move frequently and change service providers  who have to promote their services and when they do they change the name so seniors who are familiar with one program may be unfamiliar with other local services that provide the same help

We realize that part of developing an awareness of programs and services for seniors will require us identifying which populations are underutilizing needed services and targeting those seniors (and their networks) specifically when promoting and marketing programs.

Supporting informal caregivers

The preference by receivers of care for caregivers appears to be informal support (family, friends) over formal agency services. This works because of the many informal sources of care directly replace formal sources and possibly delay or avoid entry of seniors into long term care.

Increasing the capacity of small service organizations

Because of government policy and perhaps inaction, many programs for seniors are delivered by small non-profit service agencies indirectly funded through different levels of government. It is important that our government support the capacity of these agencies to deliver their community-specific programming.

Suggestions for increasing opportunities for social interaction included offering local and low-cost leisure and educational activities for seniors and congregate meals. Whatever the program intervention may be, it is important that government support the efforts of small and medium-size local organizations in serving local populations as often these organizations have a unique familiarity with the population and its needs.

Developing volunteer-based outreach programs

Peer counsellor or volunteer visitor outreach programs appear to have had a fair amount of success in improving the health outcomes of seniors through the reduction of isolation. The government should support these types of partnerships with the volunteer sector.

Programs that initiate and facilitate contact between seniors and health professionals (or other individuals who act as resource people) can serve to encourage the timely and appropriate usage of health services. Outreach programming can take a variety of formats. For example, the intervention could be a group activity, such as a drop-in blood pressure clinic or information session; an individual face-to-face effort such as a coffee cart or friendly visitor/helper; or a telephone or email check-in by a health professional. These types of outreach efforts to socially isolated seniors could be done within the context of small service agencies, as mentioned above, or could involve larger provincial or national efforts by government or other