More information on Griefing and loss

 The following is from the Bereavement webpage

Links to Online Resources About Loss – General

 Living Through Loss Counselling Society of BC

Living Through Loss Counselling offers professional grief counselling and emotional support to anyone who is experiencing stress due to life changes or loss.

 Lower Mainland Grief Recovery Society

The Lower Mainland Grief Recovery Society provides support groups for the bereaved in the greater Vancouver area.

 Creating Memorial Albums After Loss

How to make a memorial album after loss.

 Grieving and Ritual Podcast

Author and activist Sobonfu Somé on the importance of grieving and ritual.

Roberts Press

Roberts Press provides information and resources on grief and bereavement.

Recommended Reading – General

Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing in Your Heart, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

 Grief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to Help You Heal After Loss, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

 Finding the Words: How to Talk with Children and Teens About Death, Suicide, Funerals, Homicide, Cremation, and Other End-of-Life Matters, by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

 Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss, by Patrick O'Malley PhD and Tim Madigan.

Life After Loss: A Practical Guide to Renewing Your Life after Experiencing Major Loss, by Bob Deits

 Grief is a Journey: Finding Your Path Through Loss, by Kenneth Doka

 No Enemy to Conquer: Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World, by Michael Henderson

 Facilitating with Heart: Awakening Personal Transformation and Social Change, by Martha Lasley

 

See more reading options at www.centerforloss.com/bookstore/ for more books by grief counsellor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt.

 

BC Bereavement Day

All of us experience loss and some of us don't know where to turn. In my province, there is help for those who suffered a loss.  Every year for 25+ years, the BC Bereavement Helpline has had a Sunday in May declared BC Bereavement Day to raise awareness for the needs of the bereaved in our communities. It is a day to share stories of remembrance, and feelings of loss, and to seek comfort by gathering with others experiencing similar feelings

They are a non-profit, free, and confidential service that connects the public to grief support services within the province of BC. Whether you are looking for bereavement support groups, community events, information on BC Bereavement Day, or information on how to donate or volunteer with us you will find it here. Please call the BC Bereavement Helpline and speak with one of our caring volunteers for information on our bereavement support groups, agencies, and peer-based support.

Your call is free, confidential, and anonymous. We will help you find the most appropriate support for your specific type of loss.

Call the Helpline at 604-738-9950, Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm

Toll-free 1-877-779-2223  or   Email contact@bcbh.ca 

BC Place and Science World will be lighting up blue on Sunday, May 29, to honour BC Bereavement Day, to show solidarity to those in grief, and to remember those we have lost. 

Grief Shared is Grief Diminished

The symbol of Bereavement Day is the black ribbon pin. Wear this pin to honour your loved one, help others acknowledge your loss, or to acknowledge the loss of others.

If you would like to purchase a black ribbon pin to wear in support of bereavement for yourself or your community, please contact the Helpline at 604-738-9950, toll-free at 1-877-779-2223 or email contact@bcbh.ca.

Pins cost $3 each, plus a small shipping fee.

Emotional adjustments when retiring

 There’s an emotional process that most people go through when adjusting to retirement. At first, there’s a feeling of freedom. It’s like you’re on a vacation that’s going to last forever.

That sense of novelty wears off, however, and you will settle into a slower lifestyle. There might be a stage that involves a lot of, “Oh, no! What did I do?” thoughts, followed by anxiety and boredom. You might even feel guilty for not enjoying retirement as much as you think you should.

Suppressing your emotions or denying your feelings can lead to unhealthy coping strategies like relying on alcohol or food. Allow yourself to experience a wide range of emotions, whatever those emotions may be. Look for healthy ways to deal with those feelings. You might find walking, reading, writing, talking to others, or yoga helps you deal with your emotions.

Pre-retirement, you had your routine down pat: Alarm goes off, shower, breakfast, pack a lunch, head out the door. There was probably a similar structure to the end of your days that began when you walked back over the threshold of your home.

If you thrive with a schedule, you might establish a retirement routine that helps you plan your days. Experiment with various activities and time slots to see how it makes you feel.

Pencil in time for lingering over the newspaper and enjoying a cup of coffee, but add in regular time for exercise, social activities, volunteer opportunities, and family meals. While your days don’t need to be rigid, having a set wake-up time and routine can help you feel more normal now that you aren’t going to work.

Your pre-retirement life was measured in meeting milestones, such as making deadlines, finishing projects, or getting a promotion. You can still focus on goals after you retire, though they might be a little different than they were before. Working on goals can give you a sense of purpose. And accomplishing new things can give you a sense of achievement.

Think about what milestones you might want to meet in the first month, six months, or one year that you’ve been retired and write them down. Do you want to lose 10 pounds? Travel to Europe? (Yes, goals can be fun, too!) Finish five books that you’ve been putting off. The sky’s the limit.

There’s a significant risk of becoming isolated during retirement.⁴ After 30 years of meeting friends through work and seeing them every day, it might not be as easy to keep up with those you hold dear. 

This can play into the restructuring of your daily routine—ask one friend to meet you for lunch every Monday, another friend to go walking through the neighborhood with you on Wednesdays and a third pal to grab a coffee on Friday afternoons.

If you and your spouse are friends with other couples, aim to invite them over for dinner or board games at least once a month. If you don’t feel like you have enough people to keep you socially active, take advantage of the extra time in your life to make new friends.

Check out any programs offered at your church or a local community center, or find a group of like-minded individuals who share an affection for your favorite hobby, whether it’s golf, crafts or cooking. Meetup groups are also available for many hobbies and activities.

 

Retirement and the Pandemic

 According to the 20^th Annual Transamerica Retirement Survey of American Workers, seven in 10 workers (70 percent) are confident they will be able to fully retire with a comfortable lifestyle, including 27 percent saying they are “very confident” and 43 percent saying, “somewhat confident.” Full-time workers are more likely than part-time workers to be confident in their ability to retire comfortably (75 percent and 65 percent, respectively).

 In Light of the Pandemic. Half of the workers (50 percent) say their retirement confidence has stayed the same in light of the pandemic. However, 21 percent say their retirement confidence has declined, including 19 percent of full-time workers and 22 percent of part-time workers. Full-time workers (23 percent) are more likely to say their retirement confidence has improved, compared with part-time workers (15 percent).

 As a result of the coronavirus pandemic, half of the workers (52 percent) say they have experienced one or more impacts on their employment, including reduced work hours (24 percent) and reduced salary (19 percent). Part-time workers (47 percent) are somewhat more likely to have experienced impacts on their own employment situation, compared with full-time workers (40 percent). Three in 10 workers (30 percent) say that their work has not been impacted, with full-time workers being more likely to be unaffected than part-time workers (39 percent and 28 percent, respectively).

Amid the pandemic, three in four workers (75 percent) are currently saving for retirement through their current/former employer’s retirement plan and/or outside the workplace. Most are saving through their current employer’s retirement plan (53 percent) and 30 percent are saving outside of work. Retirement savings vehicles vary across employment status: Full-time workers (70 percent) are significantly more likely than part-time workers (22 percent) to be saving in their current employer’s plan. Part-time workers are more likely to be saving outside of work (37 percent) compared with full-time workers (29 percent). A concerning 33 percent of part-time workers are not saving for retirement, which is significantly more than the 14 percent of full-time workers who are not saving.

Workers are feeling the financial squeeze as a result of the pandemic, and some are dipping or planning to dip into their retirement savings. One in three workers (33 percent) have already and/or plan to take a loan and/or withdraw from their qualified retirement accounts such as a 401(k), 403(b), or similar plan or IRA as a result of the pandemic. Twenty-three percent of workers have already done so and 17 percent plan to do so. Part-time workers (18 percent) are more likely than full-time workers (7 percent) to not have savings in a qualified retirement plan from which they could make such withdrawals.