Did you ever notice?

Did you ever notice that by:

Avoiding something, it is drawn ever near.

Defending yourself can become a full time job.

Worrying about things that might never happen increases their chances of happening. 

Yet still, you are 10,000 times more likely to laugh than cry, be healthy than sick, live rich than poor, have friends than be alone. 

That's the kind of momentum you've garnered through countless lifetimes of love. That's the kind of power you long ago learned to master. And, quite frankly, those were the odds you negotiated, over a lifetime of experiences of love, joy and sadness. All of these experiences made you the wonderful, gracious and giving person you are today, isn't life grand.

Did you ever stop and notice?

I have always found the changing of the seasons to be a fantastic way to anchor myself in the present moment.  

Here in my part of the world, we are transitioning from the fall to winter, hopefully it will not be a long winter!  

Mother Nature has other ideas and has some of our plants thinking we are now drifting into Spring. A few days ago I saw buds on some bushes and the beginnings of tulips starting to poke through the soil. Before you know it you will wonder where all the flowers have gone.

I like to play a little game of mindfulness with the help of Mother Nature - and I invite you to join in too!  

Simply pick a tree that you can easily see every day. 

Perhaps it's in your yard or maybe you pass it on your daily commute.  I want you to pick one specific branch of that tree and just spend the next week noticing any changes.

If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, you might see some leaves beginning to turn into fall.

If you're in the Southern Hemisphere, you might see the buds starting to bloom.

If you're in the tropics... well, just know that the rest of us would like to come and sit under the palm trees with you!

Happy Birthday to my Grandson

Have a wonderful birthday today and we hope you had a great birthday yesterday on the 28th in Australia. You are lucky that you can have two birthdays, one for your Canadian side and one for your Australian side.

Sorry we could not be there in person, but we love you and send best wishes and wonderful smiles for your special day

Here is something to think about as you get older.

Over time, fear, exhaustion & shame can dim the brightest of lights, and that is why we must, at all times do what we can to keep that flame inside burning bright, choose the path of light and love, and allow our brilliance to be seen.

Fortunately, there are plenty of tools that you can use to rekindle your spark every day, and here are just a few to help you out.

1. Express your gratitude daily.

Tell the people around you that you appreciate them. Give thanks for the food you eat and the roof that you sleep under. Smile. Gratitude magnifies your feelings of goodwill, helping you stay focused on the good stuff.

2. Exercise often.

Sweating and moving for just 20 minutes a day has been clinically shown to improve your mood & boost your health. Try a yoga class, ride your bike around town, or go for a swim, and you’ll easily chase away the grumps.

3. Meditate every morning.

Spending time in silence reconnects you with your source of self-awareness, self-assuredness & happiness. It’s also been shown to greatly reduce stress & improve communication.

What can YOU do to shine a little brighter TODAY? 

To all of the strong women in my life

The One Flaw In Women
Author Unknown

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However, if there is one flaw in women, it is this;
they forget their worth and how remarkable they truly are! 

Thinking about money you shouldn't

Thinking that money will somehow make one happy,  isn't thinking at all. Hey, sorry, I know you know better.  But you might not believe how many people think that just because they don't have much money now, that the lack of money is at the root of their challenges. However, you and I know this is never the case.

Expecting and Preparing for respect is easy

Expecting and preparing for people to be on their very best behavior - in terms of respect, love, kindness, guarantees nothing. But it does maximize your chances of getting it. 

And if you don't insist that such behavior come from a all those you interact with, or a specific person you have in mind then you will not be ready for what you should be prepared for, or better. 

Beliefs about Money

If you want to be financially free and you don’t have to worry about money ever again, here are a few things you must do to clear your mind:.

- You have to have a positive mindset about money

- You have to remove limiting beliefs about money

- You have to take action about these beliefs immediately

Here are 8 beliefs people can have about money:

- Money is the root of all evil
Well have you considered that the love of money is actually the root of all evil? Money is neutral. What you do with determines if it is evil or good.

- Money is not important to me
If you think money is not important, you may not have any money because the universe responds to your belief that it really is not important.

- You need money to make money
In this time and age, you can use ingenuity and creativity to make a lot of money. 

- I am not good at managing money
You can also learn to be a good money manager or hire those who can manage well
.
- There is only this much money to go around
Every day, trillions of dollars are changing hands. If you work smart, you can be rich as well

- I have to work very hard to be rich
No you also have have passion and ;you have to work smart to be rich.

- If I have to be rich I will sacrifice my happiness
Have you considered that money can make you happier? Especially when you are not motivated by greed but by helping others?

- It’s greedy to want too much money
 What you do with the money is important. If you use your money to help others, then having money is good, if you use money to enrich yourself then yes you may be considered greedy by others.

Question: What are your other limiting beliefs about money?

Thought for today:

I am a money magnet! I see opportunities everywhere!

Remember when

Remember when it was really fun  to:

Catch raindrops on the tip of your tongue
Laugh and sing like you were young
Walk under archways because they were there 
Roll in the sand, at the beach without care

Go all the way to the store for a tiny treat
Make a funny noise with your hands and your feet
Lie on the grass looking for "God" in the air
Jump out and scare your mom from under the stairs
Make scary monster faces in the mirror in the hall
Have mum wash away all your fears when you fall

Laugh at the stars because they are winking at you
Tell your lover you would always be true
Count the flowers in the garden by the door 
Roll around and giggle on the rug on the floor? 

Well I'm happy to inform you,its still OK to go play. 
So go out and enjoy the rest of the day

Twenty Ways To Enjoy Your Solitude

A great article for those who have lost partners written by Sylvie Malaborsa and published in Canadian Senior Years

In today's society, many people live alone, some by choice, others as a result of regrettable events, such as marriage failure or a spouse'death. Loneliness is feared by a large percentage of people.

A few years ago, a prominent Canadian businessman revealed he panicked whenever he was alone more than 30 minutes. On the other hand, many women, who became mothers at an early age, sometimes prefer night shifts when they return to the workforce, in order to have the whole day by themselves, while their husbands are at work and their children are in school.

For a certain period, solitude is greatly beneficial. It permits us to get out of our shelves, explore new horizons, build self-confidence, and grow spiritually. The following activities will help you break and enjoy your solitude.

Do volunteer work
Hospitals, schools, shelters, community centers are always on the look-out for extra pairs of hands. Serving meals, accompanying seniors to the chapel or to the dining room, helping out with general housework, supervising lunch periods, serving committees, etc. No only will you fill some time and make new acquaintances, you will also feel gratified.

Get involved in your parish
You may help with secretarial work, effectuate the washing and drying of the rectory's personnel, join the liturgy committee, participate in special projects, aid with the decorations, give a hand during the preparation of the children's First Communion and Confirmation. There are a variety of tasks to be accomplished. It all depends on your talents and preferences.

Attend conferences and seminars
There are exposés on practically every topic, given by interesting, articulate experts. Many are free, others at minimal costs. It is an excellent alternative to gain knowledge while having a pleasant time. Conferences often take place in universities and colleges, so check students' publications as well as local and national newspapers. 

Follow Bible classes
If more people knew about these classes, there would not be enough teachers to meet the demand! Presented by very knowledgeable experts, Bible courses are extremely enriching. Each reunion ordinarily lasts no more than two hours, time which is spent reading and dissecting Bible passages. Although it is a course and valuable lessons are taught, taking notes is optional. Once a week, it is an excellent way to break your solitude, while being part of a cozy little group who shares your faith and your values.

Take exercise classes
Not only is it beneficial to your health, but it forces you to get out of the house, breathe some fresh air and meet people. Staying indoors too much brings about slugginess and has a negative effect on the morale.

Plan dinner dates
You may wish to have these gatherings once a week with your friends and/or family. It is a wonderful way to savour a good meal, have a good time and break the routine while being surrounded by loved ones.

Visit the library on a regular basis
You may spend hours browsing magazines, books, for your own enjoyment, enrichment or for research. Visiting different librairies also adds a touch of novelty.

Play games
Spend entertaining evenings around the table with your family and/or friends. Play bingo, cards, Trivial pursuit, Monopoly or any other social games.

Plan outings with friends
A few times a month, dining out and viewing a big-screen movie or play with a friend is the favorite entertainment of many people.

Visit new places in your city
There must be museums, churches, parks, shopping centres, bookstores, libraries which you have never heard about. Make a point to visit one every week.

Go back to school
Whether it is during the day or evening, as a challenge or for your own personal development, you may wish to attend classes on bookkeeping, sewing, etc. This initiative also offers the possibility of meeting people who share similar interests.

Put together our own in-house cinema
Make a library of your favorite movies which you have taped or purchased. Curling up in front of the television several times a week, especially during bad weather, to view a good movie is pure delight!

Read
Whether you prefer classics, sagas, biographies, adventures, suspense, love stories, self-improvement or religious publications, an absorbing book will keep your mind busy for hours. As the saying goes - "You are never alone in the company of a good book". Looking forward to reading further every day is also greatly stimulating.

Explore the Internet
You have the options to chat, navigate, participate in contests, research, play games, send E-mails, even earn a little extra money! There is no time to look at the clock when you are engrossed in this captivating universe. 

Start or renew a hobby
Certain periods of the year, such as late fall and winter, as we tend to hibernate like bears, making our loneliness harder to endure. Consequently, the cold season is the ideal season to knit, crochet, needlepoint, sew, assemble jigsaw puzzles, oil paint by numbers, stamp collect, etc. These classic past-times offer hours of unmatched diversion.

Get away for a little while
If you can afford it and have the time, a two-week vacation in your preferred destination is a wonderful privilege. In the eventuality that you have nobody to accompany you, why not consider an organized trip? Except for spending the night alone in your hotel room, you are rarely left by yourself, as practically every activity involves the group.

Spend more time with your kin
Spending time with your nieces, nephews or grandchildren not only breaks your solitude, it also relieves their parents. People today are so busy juggling family life and careers, they don't have much quality time for their offspring. As a result, children confide more in their grandparents, uncles and aunts, who don't have the responsibility to educate them. It is easy to have great relationships with your family. All you really have to do is love, cherish and encourage them.

Enjoy the outdoors
Take long walks, stay outside as much as possible during clement weather. In the summer, gardening is an excellent past-time which keeps our mind and body active while giving us personal satisfaction. Practising winter sports in the cold season such as skating, skiing and sleigh-riding makes the season less rigid and lenghty. By spending more time outside, it also makes our body more resistant to the cold.

Become a sports fan!
Whether it is baseball, hockey or football, if you attend a number of games and watch assiduously most of our favorite team's games on television, you will never be bored! Keeping up with the scores, reading sports' newspapers and magazines and collecting cards procure additional enjoyable moments. If you can't stand professional sports, you might enjoy amateur sports such as figure skating, gymnastics and athletics which offer memorable moments during the Olympics.

Take time to meditate
For a certain period, solitude is not an impasse, it is a blessing, greatly beneficial for the soul. St Catherine of Sienna, who grew up in a family of 25 children, had difficulty finding peace and quiet. She affirmed most people did not have the possibility to seek refuge in a mountain or in a cave, but we all need to discover the sacred space within ourselves. And once we have found it, we become much stronger!

Retirement is a time

Retirement is a time to make the inner journey and come face to face with your flaws, failures, prejudices, and all the factors that generate thoughts of unhappiness. 

Retirement is not a time to sleep, but a time to awaken to the beauty of the world around you and the joy that comes when you cast out all the negative elements that cause confusion and turmoil in your mind and allow serenity to prevail.
— Howard Salzman

One way to cast out the negatives in your life, is to follow these five tips.
First thing is to consider that financial security helps as does good health. In a recent survey 81% of retirees cited it as the most important ingredient for a happy retirement. 

1. Create a predictable paycheck. No doubt about it: More money makes you happier. 
Where your income comes from is just as important as how much savings you have. Retirees with a predictable income—a pension, say, or rental properties—get more enjoyment from spending those dollars than they do using money from a 401(k) or an IRA.

Similarly, a Towers Watson happiness survey found that retirees who rely mostly on investments had the highest financial anxiety. Almost a third of retirees who get less than 25% of their income from a pension or annuity were worried about their financial future; of those who receive 50% or more of their income from such a predictable source, just under a quarter expressed the same anxiety.

You can engineer a steady income by buying an immediate fixed annuity. According to ImmediateAnnuities.com, a 65-year-old man who puts $100,000 into an immediate annuity today would collect about $500 a month throughout retirement.

2. Stick with what you know. People who work past 65 are happier than their fully retired peers—with a big asterisk. If you have no choice but to work, the results are the opposite. On a scale of 1 to 10, seniors who voluntarily pick up part-time work rate their happiness a 6.5 on average; that drops to 4.4 for those who are forced to take a part-time job.

The benefit of working isn’t just financial. It’s also a boon to your health—a key driver of retirement happiness. The physical activity and social connections a job provides are a good antidote to an unhealthy sedentary and lonely lifestyle.

A 2009 study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that retirees with part-time or temporary jobs have fewer major diseases, including high blood pressure and heart disease, than those who stop working altogether, even after factoring in their pre-retirement health.

Switching careers in retirement, though, isn’t as beneficial. Retirees who take jobs in their field reported the best mental health, says lead researcher Yujie Zhan of Canada’s Laurier University, perhaps because adapting to a new work environment and duties is stressful.

3. Find four hobbies. Busy retirees tend to be happier. But just how active do you have to be? The happiest retirees engage in three to four activities regularly; the least happy, only one or two.  For the biggest boost to your happiness, pick a hobby that’s social. The top pursuits of the happiest retirees include volunteering, travel, and golf; for the unhappiest, they’re reading, hunting, fishing, and writing. People 65 and older get far more enjoyment out of socializing than younger people do.

4. Rent late in life. In retirement, as in your working years, owning a home brings you more joy than renting does. But as time goes on, that changes. The hassles of home-ownership build as you age, and a house can be isolating. Most people want to stay put in retirement. Yet, you need to plan for a transition to living in an environment with more social interaction and less home responsibility.

5. Keep your kids at arm’s length. Once you suddenly have a lot more time on your hands, your closest relationships can have a big impact on your mood. Married retirees, particularly those who retire around the same time, report higher satisfaction than nonmarrieds—but only if the couple get along well. A poor relationship more than erases the positive effects of being married.


Children don’t make much of a difference, with one twist. Living within 10 miles of their kids leaves retirees less happy. “People overestimate the amount of satisfaction they get from their kids,however the reason is unclear—could being a too accessible babysitter be the problem?

Something to think about

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand. 
— Woodrow Wilson

So if you have not enriched the world while you were working, now is your time to enrich and empower the world in your retirement.

Take action

If you want to get anything done, it is important to start and to take action.

But let's face it, there are just some days where taking action seems impossible.

• Maybe something has happened and you feel completely discouraged.
• Maybe you've been taking action yet the results just aren't showing up so you feel dejected.
• Maybe you simply just can't get yourself into the right frame of mind to take action.

We've all been there.

I want you to stop right now and think for a second about this question:

What moves you?

What gets you moving? What inspires you? Brings a smile to your face?

For me it's music, good time rock and roll, Credence or Presley it doesn't matter. Music grounds me and gets me out of my mood.

For others it might be looking at fine art or inspiring photography. Gourmet coffee or motivational posters with kittens on them

Think for a moment about what gets you moving. Got it? Good!

Now the next time you're lacking the drive to get into action, try using that to kickstart yourself.

Magic

The very same magic, the very same that you used to get your first job, to find a best friend, and to heal what hurt, that even now finishes your sentences, beats your heart, and inspires your dreams, is the exact same "grade" of stuff that can make what you most want today come to pass. 

Point being: You've already done it. You've already commanded it. You've already done the impossible... So what's the big deal about doing it again? 

Oh go on... 

A nice day for Poetry

Sometimes it pays to relax, read some excellent poetry  and think about what the poet is trying to tell us,. It helps to  pass the time and ease the soul.

THE TIGER

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

In the forests of the night,

What immortal hand or eye

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art

Could twist the sinews of thy heart?

And when thy heart began to beat,

What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?

In what furnace was thy brain?

What the anvil? What dread grasp

Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,

And water'd heaven with their tears,

Did He smile His work to see?

Did He who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

In the forests of the night,

What immortal hand or eye

Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

William Blake

HUMMING-BIRD

I can imagine, in some otherworld

Primeval-dumb, far back

In that most awful stillness, that only gasped and hummed,

Humming-birds raced down the avenues.

Before anything had a soul,

While life was a heave of Matter, half inanimate,

This little bit chipped off in brilliance

And went whizzing through the slow, vast, succulent stems.

I believe there were no flowers, then,

In the world where the humming-bird flashed ahead of creation.

I believe he pierced the slow vegetable veins with his long beak.

Probably he was big

As mosses, and little lizards, they say were once big.

Probably he was a jabbing, terrifying monster.

We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time,

Luckily for us.

D.H. Lawrence 

CATERPILLAR

Brown and furry

Caterpillar in a hurry,

Take your walk

To the shady leaf, or stalk,

Or what not,

Which may be the chosen spot.

No toad spy you,

Hovering bird of prey pass by you;

Spin and die,

To live again a butterfly.

Christina Rosetti

THE CROCODILE

How doth the little crocodile

Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile

On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,

How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in,

With gently smiling jaws!
Lewis Carroll

THE PELICAN

Captain Jonathan

Found a pelican

On an island in the Far East.

In the morning

Jonathan's pelican

Laid an egg all round and white.

Out of the egg

Came another pelican

That resembled the first a lot.

In its turn

The second pelican

Laid another round white egg.

And predictably

One more pelican

Came out and laid one more white egg.

This story could go on forever

Unless someone makes an omelet.

Robert Desnos

DREAM SONG

Sunlight, moonlight,

Twilight, starlight–

Gloaming at the close of day,

And an owl calling,

Cool dews falling

In a wood of oak and may.

Lantern-light, taper-light,

Torchlight, no-light:

Darkness at the shut of day,

And lions roaring,

Their wrath pouring

In wild waste places far away.

Elf-light, bat-light,

Touchwood-light and toad-light,

And the sea a shimmering gloom of grey,

And a small face smiling

In a dream's beguiling

In a world of wonders far away.

Walter de la Mare

Focus on now

Focus on the day that's right in front of you and ask:

Who am I today?
What do I want today?
How am I going to get it today?

Put yourself ahead in time

Just put yourself ahead in time, pretend that it's next month already, and imagine that the past 4 weeks just totally rocked. 

Every hope you now possess for the coming weeks has manifested. Every challenge was breezed through. Every cool person stayed cool. Every trickster became an ally. There were happy surprises along the way, and you got plenty of sleep. 

Well if you can feel it, see it and act it then it will happen. Nice eh!

It's all part of the ride.

This season is a time for renewal; when I was young and growing up, I found myself asking these questions over and over again, 

• Who am I? 
• What do I want out of live? 
• How am I going to get it and what am I prepared to sacrifice to get it?

But I just want to be clear those questions don't have a magical answer that unlocks the secret to living happily ever after.  If they did we would all be rich, happy and living life to the fullest, wouldn't we?  

I realized that these questions were only tools that we could use to help us find a purpose, a mission or meaning in what we do. They help us explain why we think we need to do what we are doing. These questions are not ones that you answer only once. They are questions you ask over and over again and each time they are asked, you may find you answer them differently, and that is all right.  

As we go through different phases of our lives and because we are constantly shifting, growing and evolving we need to ask ourselves these questions again and again. By the way, when I thought I had all three answers, life threw me a curve ball, one of which I have shared with you for the few months. 

As a result, I am in the process of having to to rethink my answers.

So don't worry if you sometimes feel like you don't have it all figured out. None of us really do, so enjoy searching for the answers and remember  it is all part of the ride.

Christmas what are you thankful for this year?

Xmas Day is a time for celebration with family and friends. Xmas is also a time for Celebration and to give thanks.

I know I have a lot to be thankful for, we are at home, Colleen is recovering and is about 99% of her old self. The other 1% is due to a lack of energy. She still has no recollection of her time at the Alfred and only remembers about one week at the Caulfield.

While in Australia, I had time to rethink old habits and to think about what is important. I realized that over time, attitudes become habitual. Because of this, they can take a bit of effort to change, but such work is well worth your time!

Try these techniques to bring greater happiness and success into your life:

1.    Start each day by making a mental list of things you're thankful for. You can do this while you are lying in bed just before you get up, in the shower, or while driving to work. This simple mental exercise will adjust your focus to the good things that you already have.

2   Love life, not stuff Do you feel that having more possessions will make you happy? What usually happens is that, after you acquire something, it never seems to mean as much to you as you thought it would. After the newness wears off, you are back to wanting some more new stuff!

a.    Therefore, the joy in most new possessions is temporary, at best, and leads to more "wanting." The quality of your life itself is what will bring you the most happiness, not the quantity or quality of your stuff. 

b.   Spend some time each day doing what you love. 

c.    Build meaningful relationships that uplift you.

d.   Take action to create a life filled with what truly means the most to you.

3.   Be patient. Our society has trained us to be in a hurry and expect immediate gratification. However, some of the great things in life take time to bring to fruition.

a.    Enjoy the process of creating the life you desire. Each day will bring you one-step closer. Being impatient tends to push your goals farther away.

4.   Believe in yourself. Life is much more pleasant when you have faith in yourself. Remember: You have already done things that are much more difficult than just about anything you may still wish to accomplish. Therefore, you know you can achieve your plans.

a.    Consider learning to walk. How many times does a baby fall before they finally can stand up unassisted, let alone walk? In addition, we keep learning more over time. Even a 10-year old does not walk as well as a 30-year old. It takes many years of practice.

b.    How many times are you willing to fall down and get back up now? When you believe in yourself and expect success, you are more likely to succeed. Your upbeat attitude will lead you to seek solutions to your challenges until you reach your goal.

5.   Sometimes being smart is sufficient. We often believe that everything worthwhile requires a lot of work. However, many times, approaching challenges by working smart instead of working hard can save a lot of time and grief.

a.    Sit down and reflect on your situation from the perspective that there is a simple solution to each challenge. You might be surprised how clever you can be if you make an effort to find an easy but satisfactory solution.

6.   There is no such thing as failure. Each time your plans fall short, analyze where they went wrong, learn from the experience, and continue moving forward.

a.     When you "fail," all you have really done is discovered an ineffective way of trying to do something. That is all. The knowledge gained only makes you more capable in the future.

b.   Adjusting your attitude and making the changes permanent will take some work, but this effort pays off. Your attitude affects your perspective, what you notice, and what you fail to notice is influenced by your attitude. Therefore, by adjusting your attitude, you can shift your whole reality!

c.    Examine the attitudes you already hold that may be limiting your life and happiness. What perspectives and beliefs would serve you better

Use the above ideas to start the process of adjusting those ineffective attitudes today for a happier tomorrow.

Forgiveness

We are moving into a special time of the year for many, a time for renewal and a time for family, and a time for some of religious significance.  

So lets talk about the the concept of forgiveness and letting go of the past.  As we start to deal with a new reality of life with aneurysms, part of what I have decided is that it is important to let go of past slights and issues that are negative and to look for the good or look to lessons to be learned, rather than hold on to the hurt.

It is not easy to let go of the past and forgive, in my own family, I was not given the opportunity to know my grandmother because my mother and my grandfather could not let go of the past. 

To my mothers credit, she was able to let go of the past just a few years before her mother passed.  So I learned that until we're able to let go of the past, we condemn ourselves to living negative events over and over again, which is what my mother did.

She  choose to replay the wrongs her mother did over and over in her head and rather than letting go and forgiving her mother. She held on to the pain for too many years and denied her children the opportunity to know their grandmother. 

So please do not dwell on the wrongs you think people did to you in the past. The use of the word dwell acknowledges that the past holds lessons for us. What we need to do, however, is to hang on to the lessons and let go of the circumstances that brought them to us. 

As you let go of the past, and forgive, you allow yourself the opportunity to move forward. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about finding inner peace for yourself.