Reconnecting with loved ones

All relationships are fraught with dangers, and sometimes we lose contact with friends and those we love. Some of us reach out and reconnect, others don't or take too long to connect. I was at a celebration of life for a cousin a few weeks ago, but his brothers were not there as they had issues that had not been resolved when my cousin was alive. I found that situation sad, and I am sorry that they did not reconnect.

Reconnecting with loved ones can prove to be a beautifully fulfilling experience. Relationships may fade over time, but they also resurge, and the choice to reunite can make a connection that much sweeter. There are countless inspirational examples that illustrate the beauty and power of such reunions. These stories demonstrate the resilience of relationships and the transformative effect that choosing to reconnect can have on individuals and their connections. Let's explore a few of these inspirational examples:

Imagine two childhood friends who were inseparable but eventually drifted apart due to different life paths. Years later, they stumble upon each other's social media profiles and decide to reconnect. As they reminisce about their shared memories and catch up on each other's lives, they realize that their bond remains strong. The joy of rediscovering their friendship brings them closer than ever before, reminding them of the importance of nurturing connections from the past.

Sometimes, romantic relationships can fade and dissolve, leaving both parties with a sense of loss. However, in some instances, fate intervenes and gives these individuals a second chance. Take the story of a couple who, after going their separate ways and experiencing personal growth, find themselves crossing paths again. Recognizing the unfinished business between them, they choose to reunite, reigniting the flame of their love. Their journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of forgiveness, growth, and the willingness to give love another chance.

Family relationships can face challenges due to various circumstances, such as misunderstandings, conflicts, or geographic distance. However, there are remarkable stories of families that mend their broken ties and rediscover the beauty of familial love. One such example involves siblings who, after years of estrangement, come together to confront their past and rebuild their relationship. Through open communication, forgiveness, and a shared commitment to healing, they restore their bond, creating a foundation of support and love for generations to come.

Reconnecting with loved ones doesn't always involve repairing a broken relationship but rather deepening connections across generations. Consider the story of a grandparent who, through efforts to bridge the generational gap, cultivates a meaningful bond with their grandchildren. By embracing their interests, listening attentively, and sharing wisdom, the grandparent becomes a source of inspiration and guidance. This renewed connection not only enriches the lives of the grandchildren but also provides the grandparent with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

These inspirational examples illustrate that relationships have the potential to endure and flourish, even after significant periods of separation. They remind us that the choice to reconnect can bring immeasurable joy, growth, and a deeper appreciation for the people who matter most in our lives. By embracing these stories, we are encouraged to reach out, initiate conversations, and actively pursue the reconnection that can make our relationships that much sweeter.

Connecting with long-lost cousins

I recently connected with a cousin that I had not seen or talked to for over 60 years. It was a rewarding experience to reconnect with her. long-lost cousins, I did not track her down, we were connected by another cousin who had kept in touch with both of us. If you are trying to track down long-lost cousins, here are some steps you can take.

Gather as much information as you can about your cousin. This may include their name, age, and any other details you may have about them.

Use social media to search for your cousin. Many people use social media to stay in touch with family and friends, so it’s worth checking to see if your cousin is on sites like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

Try using online genealogy resources to search for your cousin. There are many websites and databases that can help you track down relatives, such as Ancestry.com or MyHeritage.com.

Contact other relatives to see if they have any information about your cousin. You may find out more about your cousin by talking to other family members who may have stayed in touch or who may have had more information about their whereabouts.

Consider hiring a professional genealogist or investigator. If you cannot find your cousin through other means, you might hire a professional genealogist or investigator to help you track them down.

It’s important to be patient and persistent in your search for your long-lost cousin. It may take some time and effort, but the reward of reconnecting with a family member can be worth it.

Positive thoughts count down to xmas 9

I am grateful for many things and as we are in the holiday season. I will start with my family.  I  know I am lucky, I have a wonderful family. My daughter, her partner and our grandson are world-class skiers, and are full of adventure, and strong, independent people. My son is a very talented musician, and his partner is a professional graphic artist who is managing, producing and doing some directing for an animated children's TV series. My other daughter, is very caring and works with seniors who have disabilities,  has twins and a daughter and we are lucky that she has adopted us as her children's grandparents. The two boys are excellent hockey players and may go far in a very competitive sport, while the girl is turning out to be a very good dancer.

My beautiful wife is a creative force in our house and has pursued hobbies in stain glass, has helped edit a number of books and has acted as the Props Master in numerous plays over the years. Her current creative endeavours are focused on the culinary arts. This has given us some very interesting and tasty meals.

My Mom and Dad, who both died before I reached 40 were both strong characters. They both came from, as my mom would say, strong peasant stock. They both became involved in volunteer work in their community, coaching, working in and running an annual exhibit and fair. They both served the community by sitting on the School Board, my dad for 15 years and my mom for 6 years. Both overcame many adversities while they were growing up and had a strong sense of family. I was given the gift of cousins, Aunts and Uncles as I was growing up. My parents would make sure that at least twice a month we would visit cousins and once or twice a year we would visit Aunts and Uncles or they would visit us. It was not unusual to have one of my dads' sisters and family drop in, or my mom's brother or sister would appear for a visit. 

My 3 brothers and I grew up in a loving home and each of us became successful in his own way and have loving, wonderful children and spouses and grandchildren. A few years ago we discovered we had a half-brother, and as we got to know him we found him to be a quiet, sensitive man, with a loving sister and family. All of my four brothers and I meet once a month via Zoom as we are in different cities and it is hard to get together.

I appreciate my family all year, but at this time of year, I know how lucky I am to have such great people in my life. I hope that you have people in your life who love and support you.

Gifts of love

 When I was talking to a distant cousin, she told me about her mother-in-law and how her mother-in-law made each birthday and holiday special for my cousin's three children. According to my cousin, her mother-in-law took the time to write each child on every special day and relate a story or a family anecdote about the child. The card contained family history, and each child looked forward to receiving the card.

Special days and events are made more memorable by the use of personal family stories. What a gift she is giving to her grandchildren. Our involvement in our grandchildren's lives does not need to be a series of major events. Taking the time to listen, and to tell stories some with morals, some for fun should endear yourself to your grandchildren.

The best gift that you can give your grandchildren and your children is your time, your love and your respect.  The stories and the time will be remembered while the latest and greatest toy you buy will soon be forgotten. Write your stories or record your stories so that when you are no longer around they can be listened to again.

But, as my cousin said, she had to tell her mother-in-law not to write the stories in cursive writing because the children could not read cursive writing. 

Memories are made of this

 My daughter just posted this to her cousin as they were talking about my mom.  I remember just bits, but of her being very warm, smiling, and affectionate. She would be proud to call you her Granddaughter, I'm sure.

I lost my mom early; she was in her 50s and I was in my mid 30’s when she died of cancer. I am glad that my daughter has some memories of her. My mom was a remarkable woman, she was feisty, determined, loving and kind. Her mom left when she was young and she was tasked with raising her younger brother and sister, which she did. She lived in as small town in Saskatchewan in the 30’s and 40’s that was almost all Romanian. This was the language of the community, so she grew up with English as a second language. When she went to high school, people made fun of her accent. Within three years she had lost her accent and when we were growing up, we never knew that she spoke another language.

She was elected to the School Board for two terms and was active in the community in which grew up. She did not talk about her early years very much that I recall. When she died, I and my brothers went through her papers and discovered that she had kept a diary of her early life. It took a while, but I eventually read her words.

Her words allowed me to get to know her better and could understand some of the things that I did not understand as a youngster. Because she wrote her diary and I got the chance to read it, I started writing this blog for my grandson. One day my hope is that he will read it and it will give him some understanding of what my world is like, what I find interesting, my sense of humour and my love for him and my family. I hope my niece gets to read my mom’s diary so that she can have a better understanding of her.

Zooming and Family

Two years ago, my Nephew did a 23 and me DNA test and we discovered that according to 23 and me, we had another brother who was older than I was by three years. I was the eldest of four brothers so this was a shock. So, after a lot of investigation, we were able to reach out and connect with him. 

It was wonderful to meet him and to learn his story. At one point he asked me "What if my dad had known of his birth?" My answer was that I  would not exist, but that is another story.

Because he is on the other side of North America, and because of COVID and Travel restrictions we knew we were unlikely to meet in person so we set up a monthly ZOOM meeting.  Once a month my brothers and I meet to talk and to catch up. Last year we had a family ZOOM meeting but without my older brother as we were in the process of investigating and figuring out our new relations. This year we had the second family meeting and my older brother was invited and he invited his family. His sister, his daughter and her husband and two grandsons and their children were there at the meeting. As none of us use ZOOM on a regular basis, we take advantage of the 40-minute limit, but for some reason, ZOOM upgraded us to unlimited minutes. 

This extra time was used well and before I knew it two and half hours had flown by. My older brother's family and our family explored our stories and learned a lot about each other. As one of the children said, "It is so nice to meet a family we did not know we had." It was one of the highlights of my Christmas this year and look forward to meeting them again.

One of my great-nieces is learning to read and she had her favourite book and she read it to us another highlight of the ZOOM meeting. Technology brings people together and as COVID continues to advance and attack we will, I think, be using more technology to keep in touch.

Another ZOOM meeting

My niece, Jessica, suggested and then set up a Family ZOOM meeting on December 27. It was fun after everyone figured out what they had to do to make it work. It was a pleasure to see all the Nephews, Nieces great Nephews and Nieces and my brothers and their families. In a time of isolation, we do what we can to stay in touch.

In order to not make too big of fools of themselves, my brothers decided in early December to have a practice meeting. I received an email invitation from my youngest brother who was trying to set up the practice meeting. It was wrong, and I knew it as I have participated, as many of you have, many ZOOM meetings and I recognize what the script looks like. I emailed my brother back and then he phoned me. I then set up a ZOOM meeting with him, sent him the invitation and I talked him through how to enter the meeting on the phone.

He was on, so then we went to my second oldest brother and he was talking to his daughter about what he was doing wrong and I sent him an invitation and he joined us. We walked him through the process on the phone. My last brother was being helped by his daughter and we finally were all on the ZOOM meeting. It was very good to see everyone again, as throughout the Pandemic and the various lockdowns we had only communicated by phone.

My brother Sid said why have we not done this before, and I said because we didn't think about it until Jessica came up with the idea of having the family meeting.  We agreed to set-up meetings once or twice a month in the new year so we could stay closer and see each other more.

Another ZOOM meeting is coming up soon and I am starting to look forward to them. 

Rebuilding Bridges

Family is important.  Sadly it’s easy to get completely absorbed with taking care of your immediate family of your spouse and kids and dealing with issues of career, home ownership, finances and all of the other worries of life that so often we lose touch with old friends and sometime family.  The outcome is that many of us reach retirement and then do inventory of their life, they realize that their relationship with old friends and or family including, brothers or sisters, cousins is not what you want or need it to be now.

There are many reasons, some good some bad that cause us to lose contact with family and friends. One of those reason is you married, have kids got busy and forgot to stay in touch. Another reason could be that there was a dispute or a perceived or actual insult that was not resolved and as the years went by it became harder and harder to resolve the issue.  If the latter is the case, it’s easy to feel remorse and a desire to “bury the hatchet” and rebuild those bridges.

Easier said then done, I am lucky my family is close (within three hours) and I can see them when I need to, (not now of course due to COVID). I know in my family my grandmother and her sisters did not speak for over 45 years and only made up when one of them was dying. It is sad not to have family close, but how to go about making things right with your siblings? If you don’t exchange greetings even at the holidays and if you have not seen each other in years, this effort to reconnect with family before it’s too late is going to take courage to put past resentments and broken relationships behind you and make things right again.

Here are some ideas, first, if you are lucky enough to have a relationship with a spouse of the sibling reach out and try to connect. One of my younger brothers believed that when we were young I had treated him badly so over the years, I understand, he became more withdrawn and I was not aware of any issues. One day his wife phoned me and told me of his concerns. I was shocked as I did not believe I had treated him any worse or better than I had my other brother. I was smart enough to listen to her story. She also told me that he did not know she was talking to me. So, the next time I talked to my brother, I brought up stories of our youth and I also talked about how much I respected what he had done with his life. I also talked about how over the years I may have been harder on him than I should have been. I also talked about love and forgiveness and we parted on better terms, and have been closer in the past few years then we were prior to my understanding and apologising for my poor treatment of him in our youth.

If you have don't want to start a conversation right away, and you have an address, or email or a phone number of your siblings, that is a great start.  Perhaps the best way to “ease into” rekindling those relationships is with an email or a greeting card. I did not ease into the reconciliation because we already had a fair relationship and we could talk, but many do not have even that.  Just buy a nice card with a pleasant or funny greeting message in it and write one or two lines in there when you send one to the sibling with whom you wish to reconnect. 

That or email card will come “out of the blue” to your sibling so the next step is to give it some time for that gesture to be absorbed.  Make sure the card has your current mailing address, your phone number and email address somewhere on it.  Your sibling may not have that information handy and you want to make it easy for them to respond to your gesture of reconciliation.

If your sibling writes, emails or calls and it seems your gesture was well received, you are off on the right foot.  Now you can kick it up a notch with another card but this time with a personal letter enclosed with more verbiage about life and what is going on with you.  This is also a great place to retell some favourite story from childhood such as when the dog pulled over the Christmas tree or when dad did that church skit in drag to get your sibling remembering the good times when you were kids and thinking of anecdotes from your childhood to remind you of.

You may wonder when the time will be right for the “big apology” and the emotional release of all those resentments.  Well keep building that bridge.  You cannot cross a bridge until it is built.  Keep that correspondence going and kick it to the next level with a once a month phone call.  Again, keep those calls light, social, funny and warm.   Catch up with each other and send your love through your sibling to their spouse and children.  This extends the act of reconciliation to your sibling’s family who can be a powerful force to help the process along.

Finally arrange a visit.  And it will be during that visit, after some nice times together, some hugs and laughter with his or her spouse and kids and maybe a couple glasses of wine that you and your brother or sister can bring up the hurt feelings and put those resentments to rest once and for all.  You will feel 30 pounds lighter when you are no longer carrying those hard feelings.  And by going into your retirement years with your relationships restored and bridges rebuilt, you are going a long way toward guaranteeing yourself a happy and peaceful life in your golden years.

Do you take care of your grandchildren?

I have a friend that spends an inordinate, I think, time looking after is grandchildren not just from one of his children but both of them. He does not complain but sometimes he says he is tired and doesn’t know why. He attributes it to be older and to not being in good shape. I think it is from being around very young children without a break. My brother and sister-in-law raised their granddaughter and now are helping out by looking after their great-grandchildren. They are not alone, according to the latest information. There is a large number of grandparents who are the primary caregiver of their grandchildren.

These grandparents who raise their grandchildren, or who play a crucial role in the care and education of their grandchildren, are sometimes faced with problems such as burnout, stress, anxiety and depression. I am not sure if my friend is suffering from stress, anxiety or depression, but I think he is burning out.

According to Statistics Canada, it is estimated that almost 50% of Canadians aged 45 and over are grandparents. Almost 8% of those live with their grandchildren in a shared household. But it is not a Canadian phenomenon. It is estimated that almost 2.7 million grandparents were the primary caregivers of their grandchildren in the United States. In Australia, more than 25% of children under the age of 12 receive regular care from their grandparents. In China, the massive migration of parents to urban centres means that more than 25% of children live with their grandparents in rural areas.

I love my grandchild and believe that being part and helping to care for your grandchildren can be one of the most rewarding experiences. This is because you are able to be much more closely connected to your grandchildren's world, and providing them with stability, safety, wisdom, and love. However, some grandparents (as many other caregivers) may face challenges such as burnout, stress, anxiety and depression

What a year

In early December my brother told me that his son had decided to do a DNA test with a company called 23 and me. My response was that should be interesting. I have from time to time taken an interest but have not done very much in tracing family history. I did start on a site called Family Search and had found some interesting links on a site called a Billion Graves. However, I had not added any information or looked at these sites for at least 7 or 8 months. It might be interesting to find out some of the things my brother's son found out, so I said when he gets the results maybe he would be willing to share some information. My brother said he would ask.

In late December my brother phoned at said that his son had received his results, and he shared. It was interesting in that it confirmed an Irish connection and confirmed a Polish (now) but at the time an Austrian Hungarian connection along with a British and French connection. My brother also said that there were 1080 third and fourth cousins listed for my nephew with connections. As I listened to some of the names I recognized many but not all. I thought if my Nephew wins the lottery he will have all these people in contact with him.

About two weeks after Christmas, my brother phoned to say that a person had been in touch with my nephew and wanted to know if my nephew had a connection to a family from the town my father was from. This person had been looking, along with another person for two years and my nephew was a link they hoped would lead to more information on their family. It did for both people. After some phoning and talking to an elderly aunt, we were able to confirm that one of the people was a long lost cousin from an aunt who had died in childbirth in the '50s. So arrangements are being made for the reunion of the great aunt and her nephew and we hope that the story has a happy ending.

The other person engaged in the search did contact me via FamilySearch but I ignored the message because I had not been on the site for at least six months. With the investigation going on about my long lost cousin I went back to FamilySearch and finally saw the message in mid-January. I responded and after much investigation, it appears that I  have a half brother who is three years older than I am and who was born in England during the war years. My brothers and I find it (after our initial shock) interesting. 

Since January I have been in contact with my half brother and we have shared our stories both via email and by phone.  He led an interesting life. One question he asked me was "Did our father know about his child in England?" I said, "No because if he did, I and my brothers would not be here."  I hope one day to meet my half brother, but he has not shared the revelation of his birth father with his daughters, sons or any of his mom's relatives who did not know of his situation. He did share with his sister, who was as surprised as he was. 2019 is shaping up to be a very interesting and exciting year.

Happy Birthday to my daughter

Happy Birthday Danielle​! When you came into our life you changed our world. We watched you grow from a tiny person we could hold in our hands to a strong, beautiful person with a wonderful sense of humour, and love of life. You always knew your own mind and that trait has served you well over the years. You are courageous, strong yet gentle soul. Your mom and I are proud of the person you became. As your father I can say that as I watched you grow  you enriched me and made me a better person and I love you with all my heart.

You deserve the best that life can give you and we know that you have made a wonderful life for yourself,  Adam and Ryder in Australia. Enjoy the day, with your friends, family and my hope is that we will see you soon. Happy Birthday

Seashells: Artifacts of the Ocean

My  last post on artifacts for a while, I recently took a vacation to the beach in Maui. I love the smell of the ocean breeze and the way the sun beats down on me as the  motion of the waves calms my every worry in the world. I could literally spend years on the beach and never regret a moment of it.

I had a thought when I was walking on the beach looking for seashells.  The ocean is a vast body of secrets that has a story underneath that no one really knows about. So, in essence, each sea shell tells a different, but small, portion of the ocean’s story. They are truly artifacts of the ocean that show what the ocean has been, is now and will be in the future.

Pretty deep if you think about it. Just like each person has a different story and a different set of artifacts that they take with them from day to day, so do the seashells at the beach. Each has experienced it’s own part of the story of the vast ocean and has lived to tell about it. Making it on to the beach is its way of trying to get the story out to the world.

There are millions of seashells in the ocean that come from a wide variety of creatures. They all look different and each has their own personalities that comes across in the divots and impressions in the shells.

I kept thinking about this as I made my way down the beach. Each shell has a different shape, color and texture and each was beautiful in its own way. 

We have our own stories so in essence, we are like the seashells in the ocean of life. We each carry our own personal artifacts with us that are a representation of what we have experienced in our lives and we really cannot share our true experiences with anyone other than ourselves. Other people will see the artifacts on our skin and the laugh lines on our face, but they will never truly know our story, just like we will never know the story of the ocean or the seashells.

The point was not to be too philosophical, but to realize that people are all unique and we are special in all of our own ways. People do not take the time to realize that any more and when they don’t realize it, they lose a bit of their identity each time they forget about it. 

So remember you are an artifact of the world and you tell your own unique story in the world, just like seashells tell the story of the ocean, piece by piece. People don’t feel like they are important enough and thinking about this idealistic notion will make you feel better about your place in the world and realize that we are all important in our own way.

Creating Artifacts for the Future

When you die, how would you like to be remembered? Would you like to be remembered for your fast cars, beautiful women and flashy designer wardrobe? Or, would you rather be remembered as a kind person who cared for others while selflessly serving your fellow man and saving animals in the process? 

However you want to be remembered, you must remember this: the artifacts that you will leave behind when you die will serve as the means for people to remember you and what you stood for. 

So, it’s safe to say that you really aren’t interested in thinking about death and your eventual mortality, right? 

However, today is the perfect time to take stock in your life so far and decide how you would like to be remembered by friends, your children, grandchildren and extended family after you have passed on from this life. 

Take a look around your house. These items will more or less be the artifacts left behind from your life if you died today. Is this mess of pizza boxes, beer cans and old magazines how you would like your legacy to be remembered? Probably not. 

So what should you do today to help change your life and start creating a legacy for yourself that will last after you are gone from this life? Start by looking at your friends. 

Are they people you enjoy being around? Are they people who will stick up for you when times get tough and come to your aid if you ever need it? Your friends are part of the artifacts you will leave behind when you die. If they aren’t the type of people you would want to be involved with, look to find other friends.

Also, look at your personal hobbies and habits. What do you think your reputation is, are you proud of your reputation as you think it stands? if you are not you may want to rethink that as you continue to age and are looking to improve your life and the artifacts you leave behind. If you have a bad reputation and a bad attitude towards people, those are more artifacts that you will leave behind. 

Of course, you do not have to turn in to a saint, but you should be conscious of what you are portraying yourself as in the future. If you don’t care about the type of artifacts you leave behind in this life, continue on the same path you are going. You will be remembered either fondly or negatively, that is your choice. Or, if you change your life and make better decisions, your life will be remembered with great joy and people will solace in the fact that you were a good person who created a good life and left the world a little bit better than how you found it.

The choice is up to you. Just know that the artifacts you leave behind will remain forever. Forever is a long time. You have only one life so live it the way you best see fit and create your own happiness and reputation.

Family Artifacts: Gateways to the Past

There is a famous saying that says you must understand the past to know where you are going in the future. This is certainly true when you think about your past and what that will mean for you and your future.

If you take a look at your family’s artifacts, heirlooms and photos, you will find a huge history in your family that you were not aware of previously. This past will clue you in to a number of things, including what your great-grandparents, grandparents and parents were like in their younger days to what types of fashions they wore and what they enjoyed doing.

Or, studying family artifacts and records can clue you in to the history of the health of your family and give you an opportunity to understand what types of illnesses are common in your family and what you should be on the lookout for when you visit your doctor.

Studying family artifacts will also help you piece together the history of your family. Where did your family immigrate from? Most likely, artifacts that your family still has will give insight to the lives the family led in their old country and give an idea of why they decided that risking it all and coming to America was the best choice for them.

You could most likely spend hours looking at old records, artifacts and photos. It takes you back to a time that you were not a part of and never will know firsthand. However, taking the time to look at all of it will give you an idea of what it takes to make your future bright.

If you can see examples of mistakes your family has made in the past, you can take those mistakes and in turn find a way to keep from making those same mistakes in your own life. You can also find a way to have potential family illnesses diagnosed early and taken care of before they turn into serious problems.

So, if you have not already, schedule an afternoon to visit with your Grandparents about the past and ask them to relive their good memories with you. Then, ask if you can see some of the mementos and artifacts that they have kept for years. They will most likely be excited to share their lives with you and be thankful that you care. You, in turn, will find out interesting facts about the past and where your family came from and where you can help take it in the future.

Understanding the past is indeed the key to understanding the future. Take your opportunity to find out more about the family artifacts in your family while your Grandparents are still around. They will appreciate your gesture and you will sit in awe of the stories and events that they have lived through in their lives. 

Make Your Own Family Artifacts for Future Generations

Do you remember when you were a child and you found time capsules to be so interesting? I know I did. I can remember looking at a time capsule filled with artifacts from several decades prior to that time and I just sat and stared in awe of what was inside.

The artifacts in the time capsule were things like magazines, newspapers, photographs, and records dating back to the time when the time capsule was buried underground for unearthing years later.

Now, if you have kids, think about how much fun it would be for them if you created a time capsule with things that will be considered artifacts when the capsule is opened in fifty years. You can make it into a fun game where your kids can brainstorm ideas of what they would want to include in the time capsule that would be good artifacts and examples of this day in age and a representation of your family.

They will probably come up with a ton of crazy ideas. However, let them figure out what they would like to include and then whittle the list down from there. Some ideas for artifacts include a current model cell phone, an mp3 player, some photographs, newspapers and magazines from the current month and possibly some candy that people can look at and compare to the candy in the future.

The fun will come when your kids will help formulate what you will put in the time capsule and then you can watch the excitement in their faces when you prepare to bury the time capsule and then cover it for release in 50 years. Be sure to record it somewhere so your children or their children will be able to open it at that time to take a look and compare what has evolved between now and then.

This can turn in to a fun and educational game for your children that they will no doubt remember for the rest of their lives. They could even do a demonstration of it in their classrooms and maybe inspire other children to pursue time capsules full of family artifacts of their very own.

It will also be fun doing it together. There are so few activities anymore where kids and their parents can really get into it and do it together all while having fun at the same time. Your kids grow up so fast that it is important to take the time to help them grow and learn while spending as much quality time with them as you can.

Before you and your children know it, they will be grown up and have children of their own. Seize opportunities to create lasting bonds that will last more than a lifetime. When they open the time capsules, they will no doubt remember the good times you had together and your work as a parent will be done. Then hopefully they will carry on the tradition with their own kids and grandkids. 

History

When my mother died,  I had the opportunity to read her diaries from when she first was married until my father was killed, and it gave me great insight into her journey and to some extent my own journey. 

Family is an important part of who you are and helps give you the attitudes, ambition, focus and outlook on life. Yet many of us do not know our family history as well as we should. Many families are blessed because they have one member who becomes a family historian and keeps the stories alive in the family memory.

 I am finding as I get older I value finding out "family facts", (family facts are not necessarily true but) they help create the myths and stories that shape our outlook on life. So for my grandson, who one day will read this I give you some family facts. First both sets of my grandparents were born outside of Canada, while your grannies family came from Newfoundland, which was not part of Canada when the came to BC, but Newfoundland joined Canada in 1949 and now is part of Canada.

My grandmother and grandfather on my fathers side were born in the United States of America and came to Canada in the 1920's and settled in Southern Saskatchewan, prospered as small farmers. I still have Aunts, Uncles and Cousins who live in Saskatchewan. My grandmothers family came from Ireland in the 1840's to escape the great famine and they settled in the Great Lake area.

My grandmother and my grandfather on my mothers side were both born in Romania and came to Canada in  the first 10 years of the 20th Century. My grandfather on my mom's side came to Canada when he was 14 with the help of the people in the village in which he lived, and he moved to  Southern Saskatchewan, where he homesteaded a medium sized farm. My grandmother also born in Romania, came to Canada when she was only one year. Her family settled in the US and worked as indentured farm hands until they could get the money to move to Southern Saskatchewan where her family also homesteaded a medium sized farm.

We are all travellers in life and should embrace our sense of adventure. We continue to spread out and to face new challenges. When my daughter (your mom) moved to Australia in her mid 20's to take on a new life with Adam (your Dad)  she may not have realized that she was following a grand tradition on her mothers side. 

My wife's great grandmother and her great grandfather were from Newfoundland. He came to BC to escape the need to kill baby seals for a living, and set up as a boat builder in New Westminster. My wife's great grandmother followed him to New Westminster a year later and they were married. Travelling across Canada in the very early 20th Century a challenge for anyone, but it most of been more difficult for a woman traveller. 

Canada provides an opportunity for all of its citizens to grow and prosper if they work hard, and I believe we as Canadians should continue to welcome all those who want to immigrate here.

Morning hugs and what’s gamma doining

Those of you who are grandparents know the pleasure of meeting your grandson or daughter in the morning and knowing that for a brief time their world is yours to shape and to fill with love.

Over the last month we were in Australia, every morning when I first saw my grandson, he would run over, and give me a great big morning hug and he would ask, “What’s gamma doining?” Or if he saw my wife first she would get the hug first and he would ask, “Whats gammpa doining?”

I miss my morning hug.

Bonds Baby Search

My daughter has entered my grandson in a baby search contest in Australia, voting starts March 5th. Check him out and vote for him if you think he is cute. I do. The link is here:
Ryder S | BONDS Baby Search 2013

Thinking back on Xmas

Two years ago, we spent Christmas in the Hawaiian sun and really enjoyed the day but family was not with us, so although we had an enjoyable time, it was not the same. This year we spent Christmas in Australia with family and the Australian sun, so the holiday was wonderful. 

I found it hard to get used to the idea of having the big meal in the middle of the day but it was delightful cooking on the barbecue and enjoying the 30 degree Celsius temperature. I like the idea of spending Christmas out of the rain and snow and enjoying the sun. 

Christmas without family can be a very difficult time of the year for some, so I am thankful that I was able to watch my grandson enjoy opening his presents and start to get into the spirit of the day. 

Vacation saving

SAVING FOR YOUR VACATION

Maybe it is too early to start thinking about saving for your vacation, but as we leave Xmas behind, many of us start to think about New Years Resolutions, and going on a vacation may be on that list. I know this is on our list, as we are planning to go down to Australia for my grandsons second birthday in Sept, so I am starting to consider how we can save up for the trip.

There are many effective ways to save for your family vacation. When you spend 40 hours a week slaving at your job, you deserve to have some time to get away from the rat race, relax, and enjoy your family.

Unless you’re independently wealthy, you’ll need a plan for saving up the money you need. While this may seem like a simple proposition, some people find it difficult to lay aside some money each pay period. The key here is discipline.

Open up a separate savings account specifically meant for your vacation money. If your employer offers direct deposit, you can usually specify a certain amount of money be put into this account. Some banks will schedule an automatic direct transfer to your savings account if you don’t have direct deposit or if you are not able to deposit money into two separate accounts.

Examine the amount of money your family spends weekly or monthly on family entertainment and fast food restaurants. Then reduce that amount, storing the remainder away for your trip. So that a pending vacation doesn't become a joy-buster, shop around for freebie and reduced-cost entertainment options to enjoy during the months before you depart.

Another good way to save up money is to save your change. When you use cash, resolve to use only paper money. Then take the change you receive and put it aside at the end of every day. You’ll be surprised at how quickly it can build up.

One family reported that they kept a “vacation jar” in a convenient place and each family member would deposit change and the occasional dollar bill into it. When they emptied the jar and had it counted, they had managed to save $5,000 – enough for them to enjoy a tropical getaway to Grand Cayman Island!

While you may not have that much in your change jar, emptying it at vacation time can mean extra spending money or that little boost you need to go on your dream vacation.

Be sure and involve your kids in the saving venture. This is a great time to teach the valuable lessons of saving and budgeting money.

Look for other ways to add extra cash to the vacation coffer. One family we know would save aluminum cans and take them into the recycling plant periodically for cash. Throughout the course of a year, they managed to accumulate an extra $1,000 for their vacation.

You could have a rummage sale to earn extra vacation cash as well. There are plenty of opportunities out there to add to your vacation savings. You just need to think outside of the box and resolve that any extra cash you get will go toward your family vacation.

You need to budget realistically. Vacations need not be expensive. Budget an amount and stick to it. If you're driving, set a fixed spending amount ($150 per day, for example). Include all of your expenses, gas, meals, admissions, special activities, etc.

Involve your children in the process. Share with them that conserving money on one day allows them to go to a water park on another day. Be creative.

To save money, you can eat only one meal in a restaurant per day. For the other two, prepare your own food and eat in the hotel room or have a picnic. Take turns letting the kids choose the type of food—and, if you are adventurous, the restaurant—each day. This way, the children feel important and it minimizes arguments.

A good point to keep in mind when determining how much you can afford to spend on a vacation is to be sure that you consider other periodic expenses that may be waiting for you when you return, such as back-to-school costs, holiday expenses, and next year’s taxes.