Dear Abby

In my day, when people had problems they would write to the papers to Dear Abby or her sister Ann Landers to get an answer to their problems. Here are some questions that Dear Abby was stumped and could not answer 

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex, and he is a doctor. Now, what do I do?

Dear Abby,

I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Top 10 Ways to Cope with Job Transition

Job transitions can be stressful—whether they’re due to layoff, a new job or working extra hours because others workers were laid off. If you’re facing one, consider the following.

1. Take an honest look at yourself. What are your strengths, weaknesses, skills? How did those influence—positively or negatively—your transition?

2. Step up your self-care. Major changes are physically and emotionally taxing. You need self-care now more than ever.

3. Engage your curiosity. What went wrong, or right? What could you have done better? What worked really well?

4. Focus on what you want, and less on what you don’t want. Keep your eye on the prize.

5. Find support. Since your transition affects your family as well, it may be better to seek the outside support of friends or professionals.

6. Work on your thoughts. Calm your fears and reinforce your sense of hope and happiness.

7. Reassure (or avoid) those who are threatened by, or jealous of, the change.

8. Create your own rite of passage. Ceremony and ritual help with all transitions.

9. Let go of how things were “supposed to be” and accept “how things are.” Find appreciation for what is.

10. Keep things in perspective. Or try on a new perspective. Don’t get stuck. Remember, the only constant is change.

More on Procrastination

On a simple level, procrastination will hold you back if you procrastinate on your workload and deadlines. You will start late, put out poor quality work and not get the recognition and success you deserve for your time.

Most people experience this to some degree, and even in the short term it is serious enough - you get a reputation for being lazy, or slow, or you simply do not give things your best and contribute the quality of work that you know you are capable of.

However, procrastination can get much more serious, and this is why it is known as the killer of dreams, as quite simply put - you don't need to be super intelligent, or to have a lot of money, or to know the right people to get started with your dream, but the ONE THING that will hold you back more than anything is the tendency to procrastinate.

Because success isn't based on how much money you have to start off, or even how intelligent you are - success comes to those who act and those who persist, and if you are procrastinating then simply put you will not create your dream lifestyle and achieve all you are capable of.

Procrastination  can only be addressed to put a stop to procrastination at the root source - your subconscious mind, your subconscious thoughts and beliefs. 
Start projects earlier, and get them done on time without the rush, stress and worry.

Put out better quality work. Because you start earlier you will be able to properly put the time needed into each project and produce quality work you are really proud of and other people will recognise.

Achieve more success. Due to putting out better quality work you will get more recognition and achieve the success you deserve will help - these subliminal audio sessions will penetrate into your mind to give you the mindset of a millionaire too!

Pursue you goals and dreams like never before. You will be motivated and driven like never before. You will follow your dreams and goals and take action to make them happen - starting that business, creating that artwork, moving to a new city - your goals will all start to be accomplished as you take dedicated, focused action towards them.

What boundless really means

If you want to find out how much you've truly been blessed with in terms of love, time, energy, talent, joy, abundance, confidence, intelligence, wit, or any other quality, substance, or dispensation, give of them.

Then you'll know what boundless really means.

As students graduate, and look forward to a wonderful future, I would recommend reading this blog by a young lady who faced and has beaten cancer. Her name is Serena and she writes a blog on Change of Perspective,Serena is the daughter of a couple of former students and she and they have some understanding of being blessed because she has given of the above to help others. 

Holiday tips to help you relax 2

If you do not take the time to let yourself unwind, it can lead to some serious fatigue problems, and you may begin to feel burned out. In a burned out state you are never as productive. There are ways to avoid letting this happen by balancing your work life properly with times of calm, recreation and relaxation. Below there are tips for achieving a good balance for your work life. If you follow some or all of these, it will help to relieve a lot of stress from your day-to-day operations.

6. Take up interesting hobbies.

Hobbies are a great way to have an escape from your work life. They can be very satisfying and rewarding in their own ways. There are many different hobbies that are out there, so you should be able to find one that interests you no matter what your personality type. It could be something as simple as taking up golf, or pick-up basketball games on the weekends. Even collecting comics or other types of memorabilia can turn into a passion. These types of things are needed when seeking balance in life.

7. Have goals that are not related to your work.

If you can have aspirations outside of your work place, it will help you in the effort of balancing your life. These goals could be something such as losing weight or fixing up your house to a certain level. It would be good to focus on these things when not working. It will give a sense of purpose.

8. Devote time to exercise.

Exercising is not only an important aspect of making sure you stay healthy, but it is also a mentally rewarding experience. When people exercise, it makes them feel like they’re doing positive things for themselves. When you start to see the results of your hard work, you will take pride in your physique and looking the best that you can. People who overwork themselves sometimes have the tendency to neglect their health in favor of focusing on work. This dedicated personality type can be flipped and used to focus on getting into shape.

9. Give to charity and do things for your community.

Giving to charities is often a highly personal thing. It is dependent on the individual whether or not they are inclined to give to an organization they find worthy. Giving to these organizations can bring a lot of peace to a person’s mind and it can help those less fortunate. Taking the time to do some, volunteer work now and again can be a nice change of pace from your daily grind and give you a positive outlet to do something truly helpful. There are many organizations in nearly every community that could use the help of a able-bodied individual.

10. When it is time to stop working, stop.

Set a schedule for yourself. If you are supposed to work a nine to five style schedule, then stop when that clock hits five. When you are on  you can dedicate your all to the job, but when it is time to quit you need to switch modes from professional into your personal life. There is a time and a place for everything. Make sure you stick to that dedicated work time and do not cut into your down time unnecessarily.

A $100 Dollar Bill

I came accross this the oher day and thought I should share it

A $100 Dollar Bill  by Author Unknown

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $100 bill. In the  room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $100 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $100 to one of you -  but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 100 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still  wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I  did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It  was still worth $100.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt  by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as  though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to God and to those who love you.

The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do, what we have or who we know, but by...WHO WE ARE.

You are so special in all the world there is only one you -- don't ever forget it.

Remember, you may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Please share this very important message with your friends, family and associates. Especially our youth. Thank you!

Are you being heard?

A short book that might be helpful to those wanting to get their point across is: "How to get your point across in 30 seconds or less".

Here are other things that could help working/diagnosing the 'issue':

• Whether you 'bake' your ideas inside before they come out to the external world.
• Observe your feelings/emotions when the thoughts come out and correlate those feelings to the outcome: people understood/did not understand.
• If you do not 'bake' your thoughts inside, do you do better when you make a point in a one on one (or even in a small group you are comfort with) versus a larger group?
• Whether your thoughts come in a linear way (easier to follow) or in leaps (some people might have difficulty following your reasoning).
• Tape record yourself - in a meeting for example - and assess yourself
• If there is a person you are comfortable with, ask: "I realized I said the same thing earlier but I felt people did not understand me. Did you understand what I said? Was there any missing link between the ideas I conveyed?".
• Focus on the practical things than focus on diagnosing the issue, simply because of the satisfaction of 'seeing things working'.make it sensory", spell it out in sensory details.
• Give the executive summary at the beginning and the end -- "I'm here to talk a deal on the XYZ....
• Phrase it as an achievable action, I find this particularly works well with tradesmen.
• Credit any interruption they give, with an "oh yeah... " like your listeners said something amazing and then turn the topic right back to what you're saying.
• If they still don't hear then I use a bit of drama, an unexpected swear word or exasperation. Create a bit of social tension.

Thought for the day

It's not from the known, but the unknown, that creativity and inventiveness are born.

 

To be defeat the fear of the unkown:

• Turn away from the predictable, cliché, and reliable.
• Trust the quiet, find the stillness, feel the calm.
• Behave as if your vision were clear.
• Anticipate the emotional rush that will come with your triumph.

32 Ways to Keep the Kids Occupied

My grandson will be visiting us soon, and I began to think about how you can keep kids occupied when they start to get a little bit bored. Throughout the years, we’ve come up with lots of things we can do together as a family that don’t cost the earth. A lot of them are even free, so over the next few days I am going to focus my posts on these ideas.

Some things we’ve thought up ourselves, other things are ideas passed down through generations and yet other things are what we have been lucky enough to learn about from various books, people and situations.

At first I thought it would be hard work coming up with so many ideas for you to use and adapt to suit your own needs, but once I got started it actually turned out to be quite easy.

I’m sure both you and your child/children (or even your grandchildren) will find lots of great things to do together.   

Great Ideas for Indoor Activities

1. Story time:

Read and discuss a book or a chapter of a book, make up your own endings. You can even make up your own stories by sitting the kids in a ring and letting them "add a sentence". We've made up lots of really funny stories this way.

 2. Giant Easel:
Go to a charity shop or wallpaper shop and buy leftover rolls of wallpaper. Cover a wall with the paper, back to front; stick it up with blu-tac or drawing pins.

Give the kids paints, crayons, chalks pens etc and let them create their own frieze. The little ones reach the bottom, whilst the big ones can reach up to the top.

Believe in yourself

As I gain a bit more awareness of the reality of who I am, something that seems to come only in the minutest of bits and pieces, I am discovering that the shadows of my youth are still the same shadows of my later years. The joyful spirit and the sadness of the contents of childhood and youth are starting to make themselves known to me again. And to my surprise, the gifts of my youth are still there. All it takes is a willingness to allow them to come into the light where they can flourish.

One day I hope my grandson reads this and although he may not learn from this he will hopefully gain some ideas that will be useful to him as he grows. First, let me say there are many who claim to have the answer, but I think they are wrong. There are no answers only more questions. The adventure of life is  the wonderful journey of discovery that we all take. On any journey we may get lost, but if we have a good compass we will find our way. The best compass you could have is your belief in yourself.  I have been fortunate in that over the years I have made many mistakes and learned a few things on my journey, but the joy of life is that we are always presented with new problems, which leads to new discoveries and to  new adventures.

When I was in high school, I was a star athlete in Track, I was on a community football team that won a Canadian Championship, and on softball teams that won BC Championships, but I did not see myself as an athlete. I was involved in Drama and acted and worked behind the scenes for five years in our schools theater productions, but I di not see mayself as a creative person. I was on the school newspaper, and an editor of the school annual on the honour roll, and a member of Junior Achievement, and managed a band for two years,  but I did not see myself as an academic or business minded. I did all these things because I was having fun exploring all that was open to me, and not once did I think about what others thought.  I enjoyed doing these things but I was not classified by them, nor were my friends from one group. I had friends from all groups. What I did have and did not know at the time was a belief in myself that was strong and when I did things, I brought a passion to the task, that was strong and believable. The key to being is belief in self and passion for the task. For  me, discovering my passions, is what made me unique. Discovering your passion may  not always spur an immediate shift from what you are doing to what you could be doing, but in the right circumstances it may.

I choose to go to a new university because of what I did not have to take and became one of about 2,500 charter students. I helped start the first student newspaper, helped set up and was on the first student government as the Cultural Director, and helped run the first dances at the university. I was involved in student protests, and trying to find social justice for all. I did all of this with a hunger and a passion in my beliefs.  I was also one of 1500 Charter students that graduated on time. Again, I had fun and did not allow others to distract me from what needed to be done in each of the areas that I chose to do.  I was successful in each of the areas that I chose to participate in, not because I was good, but because I was able to work well with all sorts of people. I did not choose my areas lightly, I thought about each endeavor and weighed the pros's and con's of getting involved against my personal belief system and criteria. There are no correct answers but I urge you to find a way to believe in yourself, develop personal criteria for making decisions that are right for you and then go for it (whatever it is) and when you do, bring your passion to the task. If you have passion, and trust yourself, trust your friends, trust your instincts and be true to yourself, life will be an adventure that you will enjoy and you will be a positive force for those around you.

Preventing Stress make a decision

Make Decisions - here are two techniques:

 A. Can't make up your mind? Maybe your subconscious can help you.

1. Before going to bed, think about your problem and the various choices you could make. Think about each choice clearly in your mind. Tell yourself you're going to make the decision while you sleep.
2. You may not name the solution the next morning but if you keep trying, you will eventually awaken with your mind made up.

B.Sit down with a pencil and paper and make some lists.

1. List your options.
2. List the consequences of each option.
3. Write your response(s) to this question: What will happen if I don't choose at all? If you don't make a decision, that's a decision in itself and it also has consequences. Once you realize that something is going to happen whether you make a decision or not, you may find the decision easier to make.

C.  Avoid Procrastination

1. If procrastination causes stress in your life, learn to stop putting things off. People don't do their best work under pressure. However, some people convince themselves that if they do so they can avoid dealing with their habit of procrastination.
2. Make a weekly schedule and fill it with lots of time for leisure as well as work. That way, you'll enjoy your playtime because you'll be doing it at the right time, not when you should be working. And when you are working, you won't resent it because you'll know that your leisure time is coming up soon.

D.  Delegate

1. People who haven't learned to delegate often feel needlessly stressed. Some are poor delegators because of too little or too much ego.
2. Delegating isn't a matter of dictating to others; it's asking others to assist you by doing tasks they can handle. This gives you more time to do those tasks that perhaps only you can do.

What Really Makes You Tick?

10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, well they are wrong.

1. What do I really want?
The question of the ages, and for any age. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?
The Boomer generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the we are saying.
If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?
There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving person to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the my significant other (or to the opposite sex if my siginificant other has not found me yet)?
So maybe I don't have an answer to that. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?
What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

What is a developmental opportunity?

The following is from a newsletter I receive called Resistance-Free Change newsletter and I thought it was interesting and could help you with the small steps one has to take to find, love and trust yourself again as we all look forward to a wonderful 2011

Developmental opportunities are a situation, relationship, condition that puts pressure on you to develop your:

 Skills - so you can take more powerful, courageous actions in the world

• Character - so you can more completely and authentically express your gifts
• Consciousness - so you can resolve obstacles in ways that promote greater personal integration and collective solidarity

 It's an experience that comes into your life unbidden (at least as far as your conscious mind is concerned). It pushes, challenges, and causes you to grow in ways that you never anticipated, and it is an experience that you do not usually like to be in, while you are learning from it.

It's a full court press that corners your soul and demands that you dig deep to bring forth untapped resources and unexpressed ways of being in the world and many times during this opportunity, you want to chuck in the towel, and give in. While it's happening, a developmental opportunity causes more gnashing of teeth and shedding of tears - than outpourings of gratitude. But, when you're through it - you'll see that it was happening for you, not to you

It's only when you're on the tail end of the process, when the learning's have been integrated, that you're able to appreciate and recognize the value you've gained.

My question is . . . why wait?
Why wait until the end of the process to appreciate it?
Why grit your teeth and struggle through, when you could, with a bit more clarity, move through the developmental process with greater ease?

You don't need positive thinking to accomplish this move. You simply need to change your perspective from seeing what is happening to you in order to see what is happening for you.

Complete this exercise:
Identify your developmental opportunity:

Complete these phrases:
This event is happening for me so that I can develop the courage to . . .

And develop the skills to . . .

What will they think of next

My thanks to Pat and Sharon for this:

A new supermarket opened in Davenport, Iowa. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.


When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I would recommend that you don't go near the toilet paper isle there anymore.

Depressed, some ideas on how to overcome

I suspect many of us have had that gut-feeling depressed mood at some time in our life. In order to get my internal state balanced I discovered that setting my body to work on routine activities works well for me. Things like gardening, little jobs around the house or even sorting out my screws and bolts, help distract me from the unpleasant gut feeling and makes me physically tired.

Besides that, the tiredness sometimes helps to get a  good (what is "good" for you...?) night sleep afterwards. To get maximum seclusion and give my neurons something to chew on without giving them an overload I put on an earphone with music that I like and that usually cheers me up. Just light, familiar music that "plays" just enough with my subconscious mind to keep it busy without burden. Also, taking a warm bath with the music on, lights off and resting there helps me a lot..I assume it's a combination of the solitude and the womb-like atmosphere

And because I'm only human, on those days I see myself as someone that suffers and that deserves some consolation and wellness I treat myself to little things that make me physically feel good. On these days I am a candy-loving  person and on those down days I allow myself to stretch up my normal restrictions on that. And sometimes I'm lucky to be able to be around a special friend that really understand me I indulge myself on their strength and understanding.

I also believe the first thing to do is confront the problem - find out what really is making you feel like this. It's not because of who you are that's most  irrelevant. Search for the root-cause, but to sort this out you've got to have enough energy and stability. In my opinion it's in our own perspective whether something is making us sad or that we ALLOW something to influence us in that way. We, ourselves, give the meaning to the things that reach us....and we can choose not to be touched by them. I wish you strenght and flexibility....and Iknow you will come through!!

Naming a child

Being a parent and a new grandparent, I am finding the naming of a child can sometimes be strange. I received this email a while back  from someone who does research into names.  I agree with him when he said that htere are some names one should never subject someone to. Here are some I've seen, mostly in my own research.

Fleming Biles

Pansy Pinkstaff.

Preserved Fish

Ulva G. James

Ophelia Sappington Peters

John Sample Bowels

Woody Goins

George Manley Tree


Both sad and funny at the same time to me. My empathy may be lacking.

Teaching Stories three

My friends and I were talking about responsibility and how we did our best to instill this into the young minds that we had the opportunity to serve when we were teaching.

One of my friends related the story of when he was teaching in a small interior town, and coaching basketball. His team was playing in the semi finals for the season on a cold wintry, early Saturday morning game. If his team won the game,  they would be in the regional playoffs for the BC championships. So on the Friday night after the game, he held a meeting and talked about responsibility and making sure that everyone should get enough sleep and show up full of energy in the morning. Everyone on the team was pumped and they were all there in the morning except for his star defense man. The young man lived about 30 miles outside of town and had no phone. The first half was a very tight game, and my friends team was down by a couple of baskets at the end of the first half.  The star defensive player showed up just before the half. At the break my friend who was very upset, took the player aside and gave him holly hell for letting the team down and not showing up in time. My friend then told the player to get dressed and the young man played the second half. My friends team one the game by a very close margin.

After the game, the defense man came and apologized to my friend who by then had calmed down. So my friend asked the boy what had happened. The young man replied. Everyone at home had gotten drunk on Friday night and there was no one available to drive him into the game, so rather than let the team down, the young player had run into town in the cold wearing only a light jacket, which my friend had not noticed when the boy had first showed up.

My friend said, there was no need to teach this young man responsibility, as he had it in spades, but what he learned as a teacher was to ask questions and listen to explanations before passing judgment. A good lesson for a new teacher to learn early in his career.

Relationship Secrets for Highly Empathic People

Over the years I have met and worked with a lot of highly empathetic people so I thought some of you may enjoy the following advice:

Judith Orloff MDJudith Orloff, M.D.,Author of Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yoursef From negative Emotions and Transform Your Life postedthe following on June 30, 2010 08:00 AM

Relationship Secrets for Highly Empathic People

Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn't always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my psychiatric practice in Los Angeles and in my workshops I've been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call "emotional empaths" come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years. Or else they're in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn't simply that "there aren't enough emotionally available people 'out there,'" nor is their burnout "neurotic." Personally and professionally, I've discovered that something more is going on.

In "Emotional Freedom" I describe emotional empaths as a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner's energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don't have time to decompress in our own space. We're super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 50 fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they're afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn't understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely. We want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn't feel safe. One empath patient told me, "It helps explain why at 32 I've only had two serious relationships, each lasting less than a year." Once we empaths learn to set boundaries and negotiate our energetic preferences, intimacy becomes possible.

For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs -- the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don't feel they're on top of you. Empaths can't fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm's length. In doctors' waiting rooms I'll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away.

With friends it's about half that. With a mate it's variable. Sometimes it's rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a "Keep Out" sign for my study door! For me, this was a sign of true love. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you've felt suffocated before. Prospective mates or family members may seem like emotional vampires when you don't know how to broach the issue of personal space. You may need to educate others -- make clear that this isn't about not loving them -- but get the discussion going. Once you can, you're able to build progressive relationships.

If you're an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don't jibe with you; practice the following tips. (to read the article online go to her site at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-orloff-md/relationship-advice-relat_b_628549.html?ir=Daily%20Brief )

Define your personal space needs

Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate
As you're getting to know someone, share that you're a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being "overly sensitive," and won't respect your need.

Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style
Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night's rest, is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleeping together a few nights a week. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible.

Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs
You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn't a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, "What space arrangements are optimal?" Having an area to retreat to, even if it's a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to. I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable. Here's why: conversations, scents, coughing, movement can feel intrusive. Even if my partner's vibes are sublime, sometimes I'd rather not sense them even if they're only hovering near me. I'm not just being finicky; it's about maintaining well-being if I live with someone.

Tip 4. Travel wisely
Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. Whether my companion is romantic or not, I'll always have adjoining rooms with my own bathroom. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. "Out of sight" may make the heart grow fonder.

Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks
Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room. One patient told her boyfriend, "I need to disappear into a quiet room for ten minutes at a party, even if I'm having fun," a form of self-care that he supports.

In my medical practice, I've seen this creative approach to relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who've been lonely and haven't had a long-term partner before. Once you're able to articulate your needs, emotional freedom in your relationships is possible.

Home remedies that may work

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.   If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

And... If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Last comment on Mr. Bubble cop

A few posts ago, I talked about this video from the G20 and I suggest the officer one
Adam Josephs (Male),  Badge #: 731 be fired and the post was angry. I detest the abuse of power and authority  and reacted to his actions in a negative way. I should not have done that I should have done what the folks at Creative revolution did which was to create a game with Adam's picture, which allows us to use good old fashioned ridicule and scorn to react to his actions. I should have been more creative. Here are some of my suggestions for Adam and his superior officers. First show this video from Stan Frieberg about bubbles so that Adam can overcome his fear of bubbles. If he does not want to watch the bubble then I suggest Adam be ordered to stay away from parks, beaches, or playgrounds where young children may be playing with bubbles, as he may go crazy and beat up/bust some three year old for assault.

If Adam is still allowed out, even if he has a fear of bubbles then people when they see him should consider blowing bubbles, now Adam will arrest you if he sees you blowing bubbles out of soap, so perhaps people could blow bubbles from gum.

Perhaps some of the good people of  Canada could send Adam a stick or two of bubble gum, so he could learn to not be afraid of bubbles.

Adam you have done your family proud, as you have forever linked the name of Joseph with the fear of bubbles.  Someone could create a bubble doll of Adam but that might scare the man.

Adam's fear of bubbles may affect his police work, but his superiors probably are just as afraid of bubbles as Adam is. According to the information Adam graduated from Harvey Collegiate in 1979 and so is probable in his late 40's, so I suspect he has not moved very far up the ranks in the police because his fear of bubbles may have interfered with his ability to be promoted.  His facebook page states his occupation as "I collect Human garbage."  so perhaps some of the Human garbage in his city of Toronto, could help Adam by recycling their bubble gum and sending it to him, to help him overcome his fear of bubbles.

Adam, I don't think would have the ability to act independently would however, respond to orders, so there should be a inquiry on who ordered Adam to face down the bubble brigade. I suspect that there will be no inquiry because the conservative Prime Minister Steven Harper would have told the police they had no fear of being charged or arrested as a result of their actions. So I suggest that Steven Harper be called the Bubble King and Adam can still hold the title of Bubble cop.

On reflection anger at Adam's action is counterproductive, lets laugh at him instead. Laughter is the best medicine and thanks to the great people at A Creative Revolution for reminding me or that!