Are you in Balance?

How Well Do You Maintain Balance?

If trying to maintain balance in your life makes you feel like a tightrope walker, you’re not alone. Most of us have so many demands on our time and energy, life can feel like a three-ring circus. Take this quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants. 

True  False

     1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and emotionally. 

     2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others.

     3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly. 

     4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions.

     5. I set aside personal, quiet time for myself, whether I’m meditating or simply letting my thoughts drift.  

     6. I experience the gifts of each season: ice skating, sledding, bundled-up beach walks; gardening, hiking, more time outside; camping, swimming, barbeques; harvesting the bounty, gathering wood, spending more time inside.

     7. Creativity nurtures me, too. I do what I love, whether that’s cooking, drawing, painting, writing, dancing, singing or another creative pursuit.  

     8. Reaching out to others enriches my life. I spend quality time with family and friends. 

     9. Contributing to the world provides connection and purpose, so I give my time, energy and experience where it is most useful.  

     10. I notice and heed the emotional signals that tell me I’m out of balance: irritability, overwhelm, resentment. 

     11. If I feel that I’m catching a cold, I realize I may have stressed my immune system with overactivity, so I stop and take care of myself. 

     12. When I need or want to, I say no to requests for my time.

     13. I listen to and honor the requests my body makes for such things as a nap, a walk, green vegetables, hot soup. 

     14. If I have something planned for myself, I don’t just toss that aside when someone makes a request of me. 

     15. I’m busy, but I find time to do the things I want to do.

     16. I’m happy. I regularly experience well-being, contentment, even joy.

If you answered false more often than true, you may want to take a look at the questions to which you answered false and see if you can incorporate something of its message into your life.

Signs signs, everywhere are signs

Funny, most folks are waiting for a sign of sorts from heaven or the universe or the gods, or even who knows where, before they make a move, take action, or commit. 

Maybe all these distance and unknown places or deities, are waiting for you to make a move or take action or commit.


Let this be your sign, maybe it is your time, just be and see what happens.

Fathers and Sons

My father was killed in an accident when I was in my early 20's and I never was able to resolve the disputes that fathers and sons face as boys become teens and then men. As a teen, my father and I at times, did not see eye to eye on many issues, and as I think back I realize that on some of these he was correct and on others I probably was correct.

Sudden death of a parent or a partner is unsettling, and can have long term affects on a person. When my father was killed I did not know about the stages of grieving and went through the stages with my wife whose support was strong and needed. One of the interesting things that occurred at the time of his death, is that as the oldest son, the role of what I had to do was well defined by my mothers family.  I was lucky that both my Dad's family and my Mothers family guided me at the time and allowed me to make it through this time by falling into traditional roles and expectations.

Because of the expectations given to me, by my Aunts and Uncles, I was able to handle the role. Fitting into the role, helped me through some of the steps in the grieving process, but during this time I was not a nice person to those that wanted to help and support me. For that I am sorry, but what we go through shape who we later become and working through the anger and pain then helped me later in life.

So as you think of your parents both Fathers and Mothers enjoy the time you have with them, and embrace the feelings that you have for each other. As we grow older, many of our generation, will start to loose their parents and loved ones, and my wish is that you are able to resolve any and all issues that you have with each other in a meaningful manner.

As our parents become seniors, they may have a need to tell their story, I hope you take the time to listen and cherish your parents story as it is also part of your story.

Thought for the day

It's not from the known, but the unknown, that creativity and inventiveness are born.

 

To be defeat the fear of the unkown:

• Turn away from the predictable, cliché, and reliable.
• Trust the quiet, find the stillness, feel the calm.
• Behave as if your vision were clear.
• Anticipate the emotional rush that will come with your triumph.

Focus: Can it work for you?

I am taking a bit of a break from ideas on what to do with children and focusing on ideas that may help in personal goal setting. The reason is that I am back to work in an inner city school and working with some children (teenagers) who have a lot of challenges and I hope that by generating some ideas here I will be in a better position to help them overcome the limitations they put on their own lifes. So I will be looking at focus, confidence and self discipline as well I will continue with my ideas on what to do with children.

Are you doing exactly what you want to do in your life today? Have you attained every goal you ever set yourself? If you can answer yes to these questions, then this book is probably not for you.

But wait! If you answered NO to these questions and your answers to the following questions are still NO, then you NEED this book.

Do you find it EASY to concentrate and focus 100% on the task in hand?

Is it SIMPLE for you to exercise self-discipline when you need to?

Are you CONFIDENT when talking with peers, partners or even your kids?

Have you LEARNT how the art of focus, confidence and self-discipline changes lives?

Can you look yourself in the mirror SMILING about everything you've accomplished so far?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a rut with the feeling that your life is going NOWHERE?

Have you ever felt UNSURE about the steps you have taken, and continue to take in your life?

Are you EXACTLY where you want to be in life right now? No?

Don’t worry, and don’t feel bad. There are lots of other people just like you. People who have no direction, or they could possibly have a direction but just don’t know how to get there. I may just have the answer for you today.

Everybody’s life has its ups and downs, but not everybody is aware that they can actually DO something themselves to turn things around. Knowing how to focus, how to build up confidence and self-esteem, and knowing when to exercise self-discipline are HUGE steps toward a better life for yourself and those around you.

 Ok, let’s get down to why you are REALLY reading this book. Let’s look at focus, confidence and self-discipline and see what we can do to make things work for you!

Concerns for Baby Boomers

Back in 1990, when I was teaching seminars on "How to Start a Business", I incorporated the following information (not in italics) on what I thought Baby Boomers would do/need in the future into my seminar; today I read "Generation Reinvention" and Business: Opportunities for Baby Boomers" from Boomers A trip into the Heart of this generation and I have included this information in Italics, after my information. I think it is interesting to note what has changed and what has not changed over the last 20 years with my generation.

By understanding what this group and Baby Boomers want and need, you can take advantage of new business opportunities. Unprecedented societal aging engenders new opportunities for business creation and career reinvention. Boomers busy reinventing themselves, and younger entrepreneurs interested in profiting from this “silver tsunami,” can take advantage of numerous opportunities to develop creative new businesses, products and services.

Entirely new industries will be in demand by an aging generation that changes societal and cultural expectations around every life stage it passes through, including life past 50, 60, 70 and 80. Boomers will also transform traditional industries serving aging consumers with their unique imprints and styles. The following ideas have been organized around ten major themes of Boomer aging, based on recent consumer research studies and sociological insights into this generation’s emerging motivations.

1. Cocooning Baby boomers are retreating into the home. The home is seen as a sanctuary from the outside world. Items catering to the home market will be big. Today the concept of cocooning has changed into the idea of leaving legacies as shown below:

Legacies
Heirloom gifts – luxury gifts that can be purchased and then handed down to children and grandchildren as heirlooms, including jewelry, watches, collectible currencies, fine art, and valuable antiques.
Endowments/ foundations – small family foundations and endowments that can be managed by retiring Boomers who have the resources and inclinations to share their good fortune with those needing help and support.
Multi-generational vacations – retreats designed to appeal to multiple generations, including grandparents, parents and children; vacation experiences segmented by gender such as grandfathers, fathers and grandsons.

2. Time Management The average person worked at least 49 hours a week in 1990 compared to 40 hours in the 1960's. Time becomes very precious. Baby boomers are looking for control of their time. If you provide a product that will save time at a reasonable price, you should have good opportunity for success. Convience and the control of time have shifted to the better use of time as noted here:
Education
Community colleges – traditional public educational institution specializing in retraining of those leaving their primary occupations to become prepared for work in other fields such as health care, information technologies, graphic design, financial planning, and teaching.

Lifelong learning – online and offline short-term workshops and seminars to provide skills-based training, such as computer skills, business accounting, foreign languages, cooking, Internet marketing, and digital photography.

Contributions
NGA and nonprofit participation – community boards, nonprofit boards, grassroots organizing committees, and foundations dedicated to improving quality of life and social/economic equality.
Civic engagement – events and initiatives conceived to provide assistance and support to disadvantaged groups such as inner city kids, seniors belonging to minority groups, victims of myriad disease conditions, and the homeless.

Volunteerism – travel planning for those interested in turning vacations into meaningful engagement experiences, for example to help less fortunate and disaster victims in all parts of the world.
Political engagement – political action committees and issues-oriented communities conceived to promote favorable public policies, while influencing and electing political leaders.

3. Attractive Aging Baby boomers, as a group, believe in the youth, so as they mature they will fight the aging process. Products that help us feel or look younger will be popular.

Cosmeceuticals – integration of nutritional ingredients with cosmetic formulations to improve skin health, mitigate obvious signs of aging and address specific signs of aging such as gray hair, wrinkles, age spots, and sagging skin.

Anti-aging hormones – synthetic formulations of hormones that can supplement endocrine chemicals that decline due to aging; some of these hormone formulations can be prepared from natural sources and thus bypass scrutiny and oversight by governmental authorities.
Vitality
Fitness training – strength, aerobic and flexibility training using new methods to accommodate aging fitness devotees; equipment designed to protect older exercisers from injuries while improving muscle tone, resilience, and stamina.
Brain training – computer and exponentially based training to help older learners maintain cognitive health and mitigate cognitive decline due to aging; nutritional supplements and diets designed to support brain health.
Nutritional supplements – myriad consumer products in the form of vitamins, minerals, drinks, meals, and herbal remedies developed and marketed to support nutritional needs and mitigate impact of diseases associated with aging.

4. Wellness Concern for the environment, and the ecology which had its roots in the 60's is alive and well in the 90's. The terms have changed but the concern still continues today;

LOHAS (Lifestyles of Health & Sustainability)
Natural /organic products – consumer packaged goods products developed from natural ingredients and sustainable sources, such as prepackaged nutritional foods, clothing made from organic cloths, and produce grown using organic and sustainable farming methods.
Energy efficient everything – building materials using recycled materials, homes designed to use solar and alternative energy sources, energy consulting services to help consumers reduce use of energy from fossil fuels.

5. Quality With more disposable income, people will pay for quality. But the shift for quality has now shifted to Quality of Soul as well as life:

Spirituality
Spiritual retreats /training – as Boomers age, they will inevitably develop in their motivations to explore spiritual and religious modalities, thus investing more in spiritual products such as books, DVD’s, and live or online educational experiences
Medical spas – rejuvenation spas that blend traditional medical care such as weight reduction and smoking cessation with benefits of classic spa pampering, to include relaxation, refocusing, and reconnecting with core values.

6. Service Baby boomers are getting others to do the more routine tasks for them. Those who like helping others will do well. But as we near the end of life, we are looking for a different type of help as shown below:

Retirement/financial planning – online webinars and live seminars designed to help Boomers become more sophisticated in managing their retirement assets, planning estates, finding reverse mortgages, buying longevity insurance, and planning long-term care.
Hospice/end-of-Life – with over 4 million projected to die each year by the middle of the century, Boomers will be seeking creative and alternative ways to pass away, thus creating new pathways for end-of-life care such as theme-oriented dying experiences.
High-tech funeral businesses – inventing new technologies that provide avenues for the dying to permanently capture and record their values, histories and wishes for future generations, including grave site videos and Internet-based tribute websites.

Self-care
Compression of morbidity – all therapeutic and self-care methodologies and products to help aging Boomers maintain vitality throughout their remaining years, live longer lives, and then to pass away from final illnesses of short duration.

Preventative/diagnostic medicine – medical methods and inventions designed to help aging consumers prevent chronic diseases, diagnose these diseases at an early stage, and identify hidden precursors to serious, life-threatening illnesses; bio marker diagnostics used at home with nutrient and fitness recommendations.

7. Exotica and Small Indulgences Once the first group of baby boomers pay off their mortgages and they will have more disposable income. They will use this income on personal items. Sports such as golf will be very popular

Eco-tourism – organizing, planning and conducting travel experiences that minimize impact on the environment and support third-world destinations by using alternative energy and low-impact visitations

8. Traditions As career and ambition mature, baby boomers will become more concerned about family. The traditions of the 50's are coming back into style. People will and do spend more time with their families. As baby boomers become grandparents they will spend some disposable income grand children. Many of my generation will have lost partners and will be looking for new partners because love, relationships, the need to belong and family are still important. This need will result in the following opportunities:

Dating
Mature dating websites – online gathering places for divorced, widowed, and never-married single Boomers to help lonely hearts find companions and future spouses.

9. Customization Baby boomers want to be the same but different. New technology that allows for shorter production runs and businesses that cater to the desire to be different will do well.
Lifestyle pursuits – consumer products, services and social networks to help Boomers pursue their recreational passions, whether sports, artistic endeavors, or cultural experiences.
Adventure vacations – travel to exotic, off-the-beaten path destinations, including immersion into local culture and history, often with subject-area experts as tour guides.

10. Afford ability Not all baby boomers are rich, nor are they all YUPPIES. Government taxes, the cost of living, retirement, all causes Baby boomers to look for low prices. This need to have money will continue and Business creation will flourish

Business creation
Franchises – proven franchises that Boomers can purchase and manage to generate income after retirement from primary occupations; highest value franchises will be those that don’t demand enormous weekly time commitments yet generate good cash flow.

Web-based businesses – online stores offering myriad specialty products including arts and crafts, hobby support resources, valuable information services, celebrity fan sites, etc.
Business brokering – for every Boomer trying to sell a business, there are other Boomers interested in buying the business, so putting buyers and sellers together offers lucrative potential, both online and through traditional direct sales channels.

Everything in Italics has been excerpted from Generation Reinvention: How Boomers Today Are Changing Business, Marketing, Aging and the Future. Coming Fall 2010!

Everything not in Italics was taken from Starting a Small Business presented by Royce Shook, self published, Seminar In Print Publications, 1990

Balance Part Two

 3) Relationships. The savage truth is that, in relationships, you can have anything you can afford. The coin is passion, health, intelligence, self-respect, and confidence. Men and women get into terrible trouble because they are attracted to people more attractive than themselves, and can’t be honest about it. Women complain that men want beauty, while men complain that women want power.

Get over it. We’re wired up that way genetically, although the specific symbols of beauty and power vary across culture and time. The sooner you stop complaining about this immutable fact, the faster you’ll be able to make decisions about the level of beauty or power you are willing (or able) to manifest in your own life to get what you want.

And no, it isn’t fair. No one said life is fair. But each gender seems to think that the other side has rigged the game to its advantage. In fact, the less successful a man or woman is in this arena, the less likely they are to grasp a central truth: if women were men, they’d behave like men. If men were women, they’d behave like women. Stop finger pointing, and get into the game!

In each of these three arenas, there are painful truths we must face: human beings are wise, and good, and strong, and spiritual. Unfortunately we are also lazy, dishonest, confused, and childishly wish the world would simply recognize our genius and follow our advice. Why should the world, our customers, our audience, our children, listen to us when we cannot communicate honestly with ourselves?

In the creation of fictional characters, often all one has to do is create a flaw in one of these three arenas, and then create a plot situation that will teach the character a lesson they need to heal. In the world of advertising, almost all products are sold with an appeal to one of these three areas: sex, power, or health. Fail to understand how human beings are driven by these needs: or how almost EVERYONE fails to balance in all three of them, and you will miss a primary motivation in human history. If we cannot understand or effectively communicate with our own psyches. What hope have we to effectively understand one another?

Mastery is a road, not a location. We needn’t be millionaires with bodybuilder physiques married to movie stars with in order to progress toward clarity and power. But we must take responsibility. We must admit that we want health, and happiness, and love. And move with both discipline and joy toward a future we can cherish. What we learn along that road is the Truth of what we are. And the truth will set you free.

Balance Part One

Who has not watched intelligent, educated, good-hearted people unable to create the lives they desired, who eventually give up, consumed with despair and anger? They flail like gorillas on roller skates, with great strength, but no leverage at all.

Why does this happen? One possible answer is that they had theories, models for everything around them in life, but no way to check the accuracy of their ideas. They failed to grasp that EVERYONE deletes information from their conscious input. It is simply impossible to take in all the data that streams past our senses. Note the recent experiments proving that those self-identified with either the political Right or Left can see the flaws in the other party’s arguments, but not in their own. This is typical of religious or gender bias as well. Men and women, Christian and Moslem, Believer and Atheist…all are vulnerable to this tendency.

If we are to be successful salesmen, artists, leaders, teachers, or simply human beings, we must have a cosmology—a world view. But we must also have an epistemology—an understanding of the way we gather information, and a method to determine if our methods of gathering or correlation or extrapolation are accurate. Since experimentation with the outside world is often beyond us, the only laboratory we have to test our ideas is our own lives: our bodies, our careers, our relationships.

To be certain, some aspects of these are beyond us as well, but we have infinitely greater control here than we have of events in the outside world, let alone events on the level of international politics. How can we address our customers’ needs if we don’t really understand human strength and frailty? How can a novelist create realistic characters if he indulges in massive self-deception? How can a parent or teacher help raise a child to maturity without actually maturing herself?

How, in other words, can we be certain that we actually know what we think we know? Consider the possibility that we can increase the accuracy of our thoughts through examining our interactions with the three major aspects of our own lives: our bodies, our careers, and our relationships.

1) Body. Our bodies are created by our daily behaviors. They obey the laws of physics: the balance between calories in and calories out must be maintained. But our emotions get in the way. Yes, some people have slower metabolisms than others. Perfectly true. But that is simply a fact, much like the reality that some are born into poverty. While it is more difficult for those with disadvantages to reach success, there are countless examples of those who have done so, and if you wish to be happy in life, you should study what they did, and keep your mind tightly closed to the nay-sayers. You have NO obligation to match some culturally determined standard of beauty, but you SHOULD feel healthy, have the energy you desire, and match your own values. How can you know if you do? Strip down in front of a mirror. Do you find your own body attractive? If not, you have work to do—either physically, or emotionally. Probably both!

2) Career. We have to balance income with expenditure. It is possible to be happy (or content, or at peace) in any life situation. If you are miserable at work, then it is your responsibility to either make change, or to change your own attitude. We’ve all known people who waste their entire lives blaming their jobs, when it is their own lack of courage and emotional/creative flexibility that keeps them locked into a joyless existence. Our money flow is based upon many things, including the degree of service we provide for our communities, the self-respect that motivates us to demand what we are worth, and the intelligence and discipline with which we manage our finances. Creativity, empathy, determination, energy, honesty, risk-taking…all of these things factor in. One can either make more money, or develop the ability to find greater satisfaction within the current financial level. But without the ability to find peace and satisfaction here, much of the joy of life will elude you.

Predicting the unpredictable--part one

The following article is by By Dr Amantha Imber  and it deals wih the idea about what makes a person creative at work and I would submit creative in their social and personal live.

About 12 months ago, we set out to see if it was possible to do what was previously thought to be impossible - accurately predicting whether a person would be an effective creative thinker at work. To our knowledge, there was not a single scientifically validated process to do this. We found that in the majority of cases, most companies were not using any method for assessing creativity, despite claiming it to be a critical competency for staff to possess.

There were a couple of exceptions. In “creative industries”, such as advertising and design, recruiters would typically look at a job applicant’s portfolio of past work to see how creative they were. Of course, we all know people’s tendencies to stretch the truth. I used to work at the advertising agency that came up with the idea for Earth Hour. And despite the fact that only one person came up with the idea, I heard about many people from the agency claiming that they were the one who gave birth to this idea and had put it in their portfolio.

In other industries, creative thinking is sometimes assessed by giving people a difficult problem to solve and observing how they answer the problem. For example, Microsoft famously ask job applicants how they would move Mount Fuji, and use people’s answers as a test as to how creative they are. However, this process has never been scientifically validated and is only testing a small component of workplace creativity.

So 12 months after we set ourselves the challenge of measuring the unmeasurable. We tested over 1300 people, across industries as diverse as advertising to engineering, through to insurance. And we have found out that yes, we could indeed predict a person’s ability to think creatively and work. Moreover, we could do so extremely accurately. It was all a matter of identifying the right variables to measure.

There are several components to creative thinking that we found that our test could predict. These included a person’s ability to:

• generate new and effective solutions.
• collaborate well with others.
• sell and communicate ideas to others.
• think creatively under stressful situations. 

 Our test incorporated over 25 “predictors” - things that we knew were predictive of creative performance as shown by leading researchers in the field. Here are some of the variables that came out as the top predictors of creative performance in the workplace that you can use to help your own predictive powers.

1. Openness to Experience 

There are hundreds of different personality traits, but we found that there was one trait in particular that was most predictive of creative performance. This trait, called ‘Openness to Experience’ is all about our inclination to seek out and appreciate new experiences. People who score high on this trait tend to enjoy having a lot of variety in their life, have a high level of curiosity, and use their imagination a lot. As a result, they perform significantly more creatively at work. 

If you want to try to foster this trait in yourself or in others, start by becoming consciously aware of routines that you have in your life - it might be reading the same types of magazines, gravitating towards the same types of movies or restaurants - and actively encourage yourself to try something different. Being open to experiencing new activities, and following through on this, will help improve your openness to experience and thus significantly boost your creative performance.

About the Author 

 Dr Amantha Imber is the Founder of Inventium and the inventor of the Inventium Creative Aptitude Tool, the world’s first psychometric tool designed to measure and predict creativity at work. Amantha can be contacted on amantha@inventium.com.au or go to http://www.blogger.com/goog_964162633

Another Flawed study makes news

I am not sure what is going on in the newspaper business but reporting news is being phased out for opinions and non news stories.  This was posted earlier and at first read it sounds as if Facebook users are narcissists or have low self esteem. Yet reading to through the story I found that this was a survey of one hundred people, so the validity and reliability of the study are very low. So a non-study, makes the news. How boring.

A new study of Canadian university students suggests Facebook is a magnet for narcissists and people with low self-esteem.
Participants who were deemed narcissistic, and others shown to have low self-esteem, spent more time on the massively popular social-networking website, the York University research found.
Researcher Soraya Mehdizadeh also found that these people use Facebook as a means of self-promotion.

Mehdizadeh admits the sample group of just 100 participants from such a specific demographic doesn't necessarily reflect everybody who uses Facebook. (my emphasis)

But she expects the findings to prompt the site's users, who number roughly 16 million in Canada, to take a closer look at themselves — and their Facebook "friends."

"I think people get sort of defensive about it, like: 'I don't use my Facebook for that reason' — because it's a label that you don't want to be slapped with," she said Tuesday in an interview.
"I don't know if self-fulfilling prophecy is the word, but it's sort of like you've been believing it at the back of your head . . . and it's like, 'I knew they were a narcissist.' "

The surveys studied the online habits and personalities of 50 female and 50 male Facebook users between the ages of 18 and 25.

Participants, all York students, took psychological tests that measured their sense of self-esteem and assessed their levels of narcissism. Sections of their Facebook pages were also examined.

The study defined narcissism as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Self-esteem was identified as a person's overall self-evaluation or their worth.

Students who scored lower on the self-esteem scale, as well as those rated higher on the narcissism test, were correlated with a greater number of Facebook checks per day and more time spent on it.

The surveys were conducted two years ago. The findings, published last month in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, also suggest differences between the men and women who use Facebook.

The women surveyed were more likely to self-promote through a carefully selected main photo that might offer a flashy, doctored or revealing image of their physical appearance.

Male participants promoted themselves more though written postings describing themselves in the "About Me" or "Notes" sections.

"It's really interesting to look at the differences between the online self and the off-line self and to sort of bridge the gap between the two," Mehdizadeh said of the research, part of her undergraduate thesis.

She painted Facebook as an ideal setting for narcissists who can monitor how many "friends" they have.

It can also serve as a "social lubricant" for those with low self-esteem, since it's so easy for them to connect with so many people.

For example, Facebook friends can boost the confidence of someone who doesn't feel good about their physical appearance by posting flattering comments on photos, she added.

"That's obviously something that might help someone deal with their low self-esteem," said Mehdizadeh, who is now preparing for medical school.

"If (Facebook) would improve their self-esteem, what great benefits that would have to the health and well-being of people who use the site."

Facebook said in July that it had 500 million users worldwide, up from the 250 million users it had the year before.
Canada eclipsed the 16-million users mark in May, according to research firm Inside Network.

Does this mean that everyone who spends more than three hours a day on Facebook is narcissistic or has low self-esteem?

"Maybe not," Mehdizadeh says. "But what this study does meaningfully achieve, in my opinion, is a contribution to the already existing literature." As  the author of the study, she would say this, but I think she makes too much of a difference
Still, questions remain in a relatively new area of psychology, she added.

"Is it that narcissists are more likely to use Facebook, or people who use Facebook are more likely to become narcissists?"

Thanksgiving

According to some, the Thanksgiving holiday is a very depressing time of year for some people and I can see how this can be. Thanksgiving is a time when we celebrate the year that has been with friends and family, mostly family. No gifts are exchanged, except for the gift of time and love and gathering together. For those who do not have family close this can be a hard time of year. At Xmas we go out of our way to remember friends and invite them into our home to help us celebrate the birth of Christ. We sometimes do not do this at Thanksgiving we should remember to reach out to all of those who we are close to at this time of the year.

Some of the wonderful people I am thankful for knowing are (in no particular order):
My daughter Danielle, and her guy Adam, they are strong, loving . beautiful, and caring people who work hard and enjoy life to the fullest and new grandson Ryder, I am looking forward to some new vistas and adventures to share with you.
My other daughter Ann-Marie, although we do not see her as often as we would like, she is also a strong, caring and wonderful young lady, who I was blessed to have in my life as her and Danielle grew to be the wonderful women they are today.

My son Joel, who may  be struggling to find his way at this time, is creative, sensitive and thoughtful about life and has a wonderful talent for music, both playng, singing and writing songs that make you think.

My wife Colleen, who is creative, strong willed, determined, carng and thoughtful and who has made me a stronger person by not allowing my weaknesses to overpower me.

My brother Sid and his wife Barb, a very creative photographer,  who although they are more conservative in some aspects of their life then I am, they are more adverturous in others and I love to hear about their adventures bike riding or mountain climbing or stories about their home town.

My brother Bill and his wife Sandra, who have kept me in touch since my youth and who have done the major share of keeping  me in constant communications with life on the island and what my other brothers and their families are up to, and who have almost every year since the 80's allowed the gathering of the clan to be at their place at Xmas.

My brother Ed and his wife Sandy, who through their faith have brought about change in their community, and who, while in China brought two wonderful, cute and talented young ladies as new members of our family.

My brother in Law Tom and his wife Colleen, who have a unique way of looking at life and who have opened their hearts and home to us on more than one occasion

All of my beautiful Nieces (Sandy, Nicole, Jessica and Christyna,  Nicolle) and Nephews (John, Hayden, Christopher, Joe, Cameron, Martin, Travis and Shane, and Mike),who have filled my life with wonder at their accomplisments, skills and love of life.

These are only a few of the people who occupy my thoughts at this time of the year. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I want to thank them all for making me a better person

For all my men friends who have not yet been trained :-)

WICOE

(Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN! OPEN TO MEN ONLY. ALL ARE WELCOME!

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

-HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS - Step by step guide with slide presentation

-TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? - Roundtable discussion

-DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR - Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

-DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

-REMOTE CONTROL - Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

- LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS. Starting with looking in the right place, instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum.

DAY TWO

-EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? Group discussion and role play

- HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH -PowerPoint presentation

- REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST - Real life testimonial from the one man who did

- IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? -Driving simulation

- LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER -Online class and role playing

- HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION -Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

- REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE -Bring your calendar or PDA to class

- GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME -Individual counsellors available

Have Fun!

The Magic of Self Love Part Two

Practical ways to love yourself!

 

There are, of course, infinite ways to love and to care for yourself. The possibilities are endless, and will depend on what is most appropriate for you at a given time, what brings you greatest joy, and what honours and fulfulls your heart’s wishes and soul’s purpose.

You already do love yourself, likely more than you are aware, yet if self-love feels new to you and you want to experience and develop more of it, there’s no shame in what may initially feel like ‘faking it till you make it’.

When you start to act more loving to yourself you will ignite a renewed relationship with yourself and step onto a path to a blossom-rich horizon. You will also reprogram your subconscious mind with a new way of being and relating with yourself.

Loving yourself may involve pampering and treating yourself in luxurious ways, yet it may also include less glamorous endeavours, for self-love is about doing what most serves you and your soul at a given time, and honouring and respecting yourself accordingly.

Loving yourself could be:

• Cleaning your home, organising papers and accounts, eating healthy food, paying bills, clearing debts, etc.
• Ending sabotaging patterns, habits or addictions.
• Seeking the help, healing and support that will help you make the transition to a brighter future.
• Setting new inspiring and enlivening goals, raising your standards and reaching for more.
• No longer sacrificing to please others.
• Being honest and intimate with yourself and others.
• No longer settling for less and setting respecting boundaries.
• Living somewhere that you truly love, or transforming, decorating or renovating your existing home to surround yourself with an environment that is beautiful, meaningful and heart-warming.
• Nourishing and caring for your body, such as eating healthy food and exercising regularly. You might join a gym, get a personal trainer, or begin fun healthy activities like salsa, yoga, or a new sport or activity like hiking or running.
• Doing 'nothing' and spending time relaxing, reflecting, de-stressing or simply ‘being’.
• Treating yourself to the pleasures of massage, a facial, pedicure, beauty treatments or a new hair-do.
• Buying new clothes that reflect your truer self.
• Taking up or renewing a creative hobby or passion, be that singing, writing, walking, painting, sailing, or photography, for example.
• Listening to and honouring your feelings.
• Going on weekends away, short breaks and holidays to inject greater fun, happiness and adventure into your life.
• Being in touch with friends and loved ones, and expressing the love you have for them, which will be nourishing not just to them, but to you as well.
• Speaking kindly to yourself, seeing your value and goodness, affirming your positives and being grateful to yourself.
• Having a night out on the town: going out for a fabulous dinner, dancing, to the movies or theatre, whether alone, with a friend a friend, or romantic partner.
• Meditating.
• Being true to yourself, upholding principles and standing your ground if required.
• If you tend to save or hoard money, it could be having a care-free ‘splurge’.
• Treating yourself does not need to be a great expense, however, and can be having breakfast in the garden on a sunny morning, taking a walk in the afternoon, having a bubble bath, a candlelight dinner in, going for a swim or watching the sunset.
• Spending time in nature to bask in its beauty and grace. We all have favourite nature spots. For some it is the ocean side, for others the beauty of a spring meadow, for some it is to walk down country lanes, or enter a forest or grove. Perhaps you love riversides or waterfalls, or wide vistas and open landscapes with far reaching views, or hill tops and mountains.
• Appreciating yourself for all your gifts, qualities, strengths and achievements, and having compassion and love for any perceived 'ugly sides', weaknesses, stresses, trials and tribulations.
• Forgiving yourself for all 'mistakes' the lost or wounded you may have made, and letting go of negative self-concepts and beliefs.

"All my limitations are self-imposed and my liberation can only come from true self-love."

The Magic of Self-Love

The following is by Aine Belton and is in two parts, part one today and part two tomorrow

Loving yourself is easy when you own your inherent innocence and worth and acknowledge the divinity that you are.

Your essential true self – the you beyond your personality, identity and negative beliefs, is so ineffably beautiful, loving and magnificent, when you awaken to it, self-love is inevitable.

In the light of self-love you come to realize that you are not your darkness, failings or mistakes, and that your negative self-concepts are sourced in misunderstandings about yourself and life.

To not love yourself is to be blind to your true nature and the loving nature of the universe. It is to be caught in the lies of ego and shrouding traps such as guilt, shame, undeserving and self-loathing.

“There is nothing but love, and all else is illusion.” - Dr. John Demartini

When you awaken to your inherent nature, self-love is inevitable.

Forgiving yourself for perceived ‘wrong doings’ and ‘mistakes’ can help you let go of and release more of what you are not so you can open to and embrace more of who you are, and the love at the heart of your being.

It is easy to love what’s beautiful in you, but it’s the ugly parts that need your love the most.

To truly love yourself is to love yourself unconditionally beyond reasons why.

To love yourself because you did a good deed, got a pay rise, secured a new job, are popular, funny, attractive or wealthy, is conditional. Love yourself for who you are, your strengths and weaknesses. And love yourself because you are - that you exist.

The essence of who you are is love itself. You are born of love, returning to love.

There is nothing you need do to win that love and nothing you can do to lose it, for you are loved completely.

States of pain and constriction are symptoms that you are out of alignment with truth - the truth of who you are and the true nature of reality.

Self-love is ultimately self-knowing. It is accepting yourself compassionately in entirety and understanding that you are more than your personality and identity. You are pure spirit.

All that you desire is yours to receive. Love unlocks the door to that receiving. When you awaken to the love that you are abundance reins, and there is a renewed flow of giving and receiving between yourself, others and the universe.

In the wake of love, dreams come true. Wounds heal and the pain of separation lessens.

You become free from ego games and agendas that can otherwise thwart your growth and success and side-track you from the truth.

Fear, loss, worthlessness, loneliness and other constricting states transform in the light of love.

"There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open." - Emmet Fox

When you love yourself neediness subsides and you relinquish futile attempts to ‘get love’ from ‘out there’, and the control, manipulation, dependency, sacrifice and struggle that can otherwise ensue.

The ego’s quest to earn love, and to compete, compare and prove your lovability dissolves in the nourishing repose and revitalizing wonder of self-love.

You are the one you have been waiting for; it is your love and the truth of your being that lies wait within.

If you’re not having the kinds of experiences you want in your relationships, the key is to awaken to this infinite supply within, and open to receive this limitless reservoir of self-love and universal love.

Your Higher Self, the eternal transcendent being that you really are, loves you more than you may ever now. It loves you totally and unconditionally.

The cliché ‘No one can love you until you love yourself’, is true in that, until you love yourself you will not be able to wholeheartedly receive love from others. You may be blind or blinkered to that love. You may deny, discount or avoid it. You may be cynical and doubt it. You may push it away or sabotage it. You may feel you do not deserve it. You may even fail to attract it due to blocks around your lovability and corresponding limiting self-beliefs.

In loving yourself you fill up with nectar from within and can radiate and share that sweetness with others and the world. The wondrous vibration of love will exude and attract happy, harmonious, beautiful realities in line with your heart’s desires.

You are source, not subject, of your world.

When you love yourself, the world will love you back.

You judge others less as you judge yourself less. Compassion is a natural by-product of self-love.

In loving yourself you are more connected to your Higher Self – the vast being that you are - and are more open, trusting, loving and happy.

You become less self-conscious and more spontaneous, less self-absorbed and more giving, less of a victim and more of a leader, contributor and inspiration to others.

Your life is graced with flow.

Problems and struggle lessen and ease.

You stop fighting yourself and others and start joining, giving forth, celebrating and having fun!

You revel in the wonder of who you are, the love of the universe, and the love the universe has for you.

The power of attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the power of my attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home, a family or friendship.

 The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play, the one string we have control over and that is our attitude. I'm convinced that life is 1% what happens to me and 99% how I react to it.

NOTE: Please remember to choose your attitude carefully because 1) It's contagious, it'll affect people or infect them(especially children). 2) Your emotions can definitely be positively effected by choosing a positive attitude/outlook. 3) You will enjoy life more and those around you. I encourage you to test it out for yourself!

Another Senior vs Boomer change that is upon us

The following is from Boomers A trip into the heart of the baby boom generation, and the entire article is a great read, but I thought this section was interesting. I suggest you read the entire article for some interesting ideas.

Middle age, edging toward old age, presents many unique challenges for men, and these momentous changes—biological, social and cultural—become greatly magnified when around 5,500 men cross the threshold of 50 every day. For nineteen years, beginning in 1996 and until 2015, roughly two million men can be expected to traverse annually the journey across the age 50 horizon.

Toward Relevance and Reinvention


Although late middle age has been traditionally associated with predictability, quiescence and gradual withdrawal from mainstream society, Boomer men are poised to shatter these stereotypical expectations, challenging, for example, barriers to employment for those over age 50 or 60. The softer side of maturity is a quest for reinvention and self-actualization. Boomer men have spent decades focused on their responsibilities as employers, employees, fathers, husbands, partners, and business and civic leaders. The stage of life after 50 presents renewed opportunities to reach for greater idealism and relevance in life. It’s a time to discover life anew, and this perpetually seeking cohort will pursue later life with questions, a search for meaning, and by finding ways to bring life into perspective while leaving behind meaningful contributions to society.

dreamers

The following is adapted from the Inner Bonding Website

The world needs the dreamers, those people who have faith in themselves and the world and who can see the possiblilites of life. However many of us are held back and even though we dream, we fail to act on those dreams. There are many reasons not to act, here are a few that our self talk may say to us to destroy our dreams:

I cannot do that.
I am too old.
It is too late.
It is pie in the sky.
It is not that important.

Subconsciously we hold our dreams back when there are deep unhealed false beliefs that are telling us that we have some kind of limitation. We are not good enough. We are not talented enough. It is not our time yet. Or we need to work very hard.

When we were very young, we expressed our dreams and visions freely, and some of us, instead of being supported got squashed, judged or ridiculed by our caregivers, teachers or friends.

Were you told?
How you dare to ask for that?
I do not have this and that.
I had to give up so much.
Who do you think you are?
Stop dreaming. Hard work is the only thing that matters.

As children we had a choice to either pursue our dream and lose others, or forget our dream and lose ourselves. Most of us had to go with a second choice. Once we silenced our dreaming self, also a source of our creativity and magic, it goes into hiding and stops sharing. This is one of the reason why so many people say: I do not know what I am passionate about. What if I do not have passion at all? I do not know what brings me joy. What if I have to work really hard to figure it out?

If you want to reconnect with your dreaming self you need intent and discipline. You must be willing to stop following dreams that belong to others. You must be willing not to fall under the spell of people who are telling you what you need to do and how. No matter how hard you try to follow what others are telling you still joy and magic will be lacking from your life.

You must be willing to heal false beliefs and become an adult that the child needed to begin with. The adult who is loving, caring, attentive, gentle, curious, supportive and safe. Dreaming self will not show up after a few times when you were in a good and supportive mood. Remember it went hiding as there was no consistent support and safety. However if a loving adult offers a loving hand many times it will accept it. You will experience a boost of joy and good energy. Suddenly you will know what you like, and what you REALY like. There is clarity, and all kind of ideas pop up in your mind. You will remember all the things that you have put aside with explanation: Once time is right.

Sometimes dreaming self needs your permission to fully shine the light out. Here is the permission that Ivanka Jankovic has written to her dreaming self since she was still very hesitant to fully express herself.



Sweetie you do not need to hide any more. Your hiding is over. I give you permission to be who you are. You can have anything you want. You can share anything with me. You can express your dreams. I will fully support you, and I will listen to you. I will be there every step of the way. I am interested to hear what you would like to share.


It is your time now to play, enjoy and relax. You do not need to wait for anyone else until their dreams come true. You are not responsible if they get triggered and feel threatened. People who do not embrace their dreams, will always get triggered by someone who dares to dream and I will handle those situations. You just need to be fully yourself. Shine out your light. We are welcoming you. You are safe, loved and supported.


When you reconnect with your dreaming self and start following your deep dreams Spirit steps up to help. You will meet people that are on a similar path and love to support others and their authentic dreams. And that is true magic and remember you can then join in and experience the magic of the moment.

Golf Easy does it

I am a weekend golfer but once a year my friends and I go off for a week of golf, fun and relaxation. Last year, after the week long tour, my game went from bad to worse. I lost all of the skills sets that I thought I had and for the rest of the summer I golfed as I did when I first started out about 8 years ago. I know that there are many of you who golf on a regular basis and take lessons and golf in the 70's, 80' and 90's. I am no where near those ranges, if I am lucky I can break 105 but usually shot between 105 and 110. Except last year before the tournament I was breaking 100 on a fairly regular basis, (not by much 1 or 2 points) but after the tour I went back to my old habits.

This year I have started out averaging about 102-105 and so I am looking forward to maintaining this range over the summer. I was at the driving range and practising and because I was tired, rather than swinging hard, I relaxed and took 3/4 swings and I found, much to my delight, that the ball went straight and far. I am going to keep working on this idea, the easier you swing, the better the results.

I wonder if this idea can be applied to life, maybe we should try to relax, and go with the flow and remember that there is always beauty or magic in the moment, in any moment and that is the lesson to take away from golf.

On being a grandfather part 2

My daughter informed us that our first grandchild would be a boy as she was driving back home from Melbourne after her ultrasound. She told us that the baby is healthy and she is doing fine. They are now in the process of starting to decide on a name, as she told us they had lots of girls names picked out, but very few boys names and the one they had thought they liked suddenly did not seem appropriate--now that may change as the date of birth comes closer.

One of the first gifts we give our children is their name and it is a very important decision. When my daugter was born, we had a name picked out, but when we saw her, the name did not seem to fit and we changed her name.  I am excited about the fact the baby is healty, now we know that we are having a grandson, we can prepare for him.  I am in the process of looking at when to book a flight to Australia to see her new family and that new adventure in our lives.

Thank you

I have spent the last two  months working in a Learning Center and just want to say thank you to the teachers at the center for making my time enjoyable. In another life I had some district responsibility for helping Learning Centers when the first started in our district. I worked closely with the staff and leadership to help them create the culture of learning, their goals, and their approach to working with the students who end up at the centers. It was a fun time as well as challenging. I am glad to say that the ideals the approach and the goals of the centers. although refined, have not changed that much since the centers were started. As I sat in out lunch room and listened to the teachers talk about the students and their success and their frustrations with students who were not trying, I thought these people really care. The teachers in the centers do not have the luxury of working with the best and the brightest, they work with the students who are one step away from leaving. These students have all arrived at the centers with histories of bad marks, attitudes, drug use, or other problems that make it impossible for the student to be successful in the mainstream. The teachers and the staff at the center work really hard, to make sure the students are successful. I appreciated my time there and wish them well next year