Do we exchange information or seek understanding when we communicate?

The essence of human communication goes beyond the mere transmission of information; it is fundamentally about the exchange of understanding. While information exchange is undoubtedly a crucial aspect of communication, the deeper purpose is to bridge the gap between individuals, fostering a shared comprehension and connection. This profound dimension of communication is particularly evident when it transforms into a conduit for the transfer of tenderness.

Consider the spoken language as a primary form of communication. Words, when used with empathy and genuine intent, have the power to convey emotions, thoughts, and experiences. For instance, when someone expresses concern for a friend going through a difficult time, the exchange is not merely about relaying information regarding the friend's struggles. It becomes an opportunity to convey understanding, empathy, and emotional support, creating a shared emotional space that goes beyond the facts of the situation.

Music, often referred to as the universal language, is another poignant example. When individuals share music, they are not just transmitting notes and rhythms; they are sharing an emotional experience. A melancholic melody or an uplifting tune can evoke feelings that surpass the need for explicit information. In this way, music becomes a powerful medium for the transfer of tenderness, as it has the capacity to connect people on a profound emotional level.

The language of flowers provides yet another example of how communication extends beyond information exchange. Different flowers carry distinct meanings and sentiments. When someone receives a bouquet, it is not merely a collection of plants; it is a symbolic expression of emotions. Whether it's love, friendship, or condolences, the choice of flowers serves as a non-verbal language that communicates understanding and emotional resonance.

These diverse forms of communication—spoken language, music, and the language of flowers—demonstrate humanity's inherent need for meaningful connection. They showcase our capacity to transcend the utilitarian aspect of communication and engage in exchanges that touch the core of our emotional existence. The fact that we have invented and embraced these various languages is a testament to our deep-seated desire for the transfer of tenderness and the establishment of profound connections with one another. In essence, communication serves as a rich tapestry of understanding, weaving together the threads of information and emotion to create a fabric that binds us together in shared human experience.

Have you ever thought?

I came across this post on Facebook and I have added my own thoughts to it. I don’t know who the author is, but I am assuming it is a woman of a certain age. I have given an answer in non-italics from all the men who loved and continue to love you.

Have you ever thought: ‘I m fat.” I'm old.’ I'm worn out. “I was young once."?

To all my female friends from 50 years and up Most of us are going through the next phase of our lives. We're at that age where we see wrinkles, gray hair, and extra pounds. We see the cute 25-year-olds and reminisce. But we were also 25, just as they will one day be our age. We aren't the "girls in their summer clothes" anymore.

 “We don’t see the wrinkles, gray hair and extra pounds, we still see the girl in her summer clothes, the girl we fell in love with and with who we spent our lives.”

What they bring to the table with their youth and zest, we bring our wisdom and experience. We have raised families, run households, paid the bills, dealt with diseases, sadness, and everything else life has assigned us. Some of us have lost those that were nearest and dearest to us. We are survivors.

We are the lucky ones, you have kept us on the right path, you have been there for our children when we were absent; our children are better because of your love and your care. You have helped us through sadness, and all of life’s sorrows and we have celebrated together when we experienced life’s joys.

We are warriors in the quiet. We are women, like a classic car or a fine wine. Even if our bodies aren't what they once were, they carry our souls, our courage, and our strength. We shall all enter this chapter of our lives with humility, grace, and pride over everything we have been through, and we should never feel bad about getting older. It's a privilege that is denied to so many.

You do have a quiet strength, which we love. You are our soul, our courage and our strength, and our love. We are privileged to enter the final chapter of our lives with you. We are proud to be at your side and our hope is that we will pass on to the next chapter with you continuing to be at our side.

When love beckons to you, follow

Humans fall in love, sometimes once, sometimes many times, and we feel different types of love, love for our partner, love for our children, our grandchildren, our friends and if we are lucky we learn to love our enemies. Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin, how we navigate our oscillation between these inescapable polarities is governed by the degree of courage, openness, and vulnerability with which we are willing to show up for and to our own hearts.  One of the joys of COVID for me is the time to re-read books that shaped my view when I was going to University one of those books was philosopher Kahlil Gibran (January 6, 1883–April 10, 1931) book The Prophet the 1923 classic that also gave us what may be the finest advice ever offered on the balance of intimacy and independence in healthy relationships.

Speaking to the paradoxical human impulse to cower before the largeness of love — to run from its vulnerable-making uncertainties and necessary frustrations at the cost of its deepest rewards — Gibran offers an incantation of courage:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love

Out of the mouths of babes.

Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers in my family and extended family in Australia. Gifts don't need to be big and expensive, sometimes the simplest and most inexpensive gift can have great meaning, both to the giver and the receiver.

Father's Day in Australia is at a different time of year than here in North America. My daughter and my grandson sent me a great gift for last Father's day. Here is what happened. my grandson picked out an Mt. Buller Bunny Keychain that is the same as the one he has, except it is a different color. My daughter said to him, " What will Grandpa do with that?" He replied, "Cuddle it and think of me." 
So even if it is the least practical Father Day gift, it stems from his love for me and his understanding of why the gift was important and how it could be used. I have used it every day to cuddle it and think of my grandson. 

Six Words

I do believe that the single most important thing I could ever, ever share with you, with regard to maximizing the health, harmony, and happiness in your life, not to mention expediting the manifestation of your heart's fondest desires, can be summed up in just one word:  Love yourself.  Okay, two words.  Love yourself all of the time! Okay, 6 words.

Happy Birthday to a wonderful lady

Happy Birthday to my daughter, on this date many years ago, I fell crazy in love with a beautiful, magical, wonderful child who changed my life and over time made be a better man. 

When you were born, I became head over heals in love with you. Our first gift to you was your name, we had settled on a name before you were born, but when you arrived, we realized that the name we had chosen did not fit your personality so we found a name that fitted you. 

People in love do crazy things. I have pictures of you minutes after you were born, and in those days, this was not allowed, so I was in trouble with the doctors. 

Over the years you have, at times driven me crazy, made me laugh, made me cry, kept me awake at night and filled my heart with joy. You have always made me proud of you. 

I love you, miss you and wish that on this special birthday you find, peace and love and that your partner, your son and your friends throw you one heck of a party. Your mom and I wish we could be there for this day but remember we will see you soon.

Love Dad

Bees can fly 12 miles without getting lost--amazing but true

Bees can fly 12 miles without getting lost. Albatrosses, 25,000 miles. And flying insects, without eyes, have no trouble whatsoever finding their "soul mates." 

Imagine what  you can do for yourself, when you listen to the voice and the music within. 

10 ideas on life and love

1. You can not win someone over by being aggressive, it has been said that the thrill is in the chase, that may be but the more you chase, the more they run. So for a long term commitment try working on attracting  people to you instead of chasing after them
2. Love is not about “finding your other half”. There is no other half to you, you need to work on yourself and then you will begin to attract others. When you become whole on our own  and you do not need or rely on someone else to complete you, you will begin to attract other individuals that are whole as well
3. If you never ask, the answer is always no. Life is too short to be afraid to reach out.
4. Money is just a means to an end. Sure, people think it would be great to have a lot of money but when we have it, we realize that what we want is what that money can do for us… what it brings us and money no matter what is said does not buy love.
5. There’s no use trying to logically convince anyone to your point of view, you can’t change a anyone's mind unless you change their mood first.
6. Besides “I love you”, the next best thing you can say to someone is “Thank you”. People love to feel appreciated. Why deny them such a wonderful feeling, by withholding two words that don’t cost you anything?
7. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face… and don’t grab your crotch in public, in other words do not make a fool of yourself by doing things that are harmful to yourself or others. Having fun and being foolish is great if the fun and foolish things you do, bring warmth and laughter to others.
8. Facebook isn't real life. Real life is when you go out and do crazy stuff. Facebook just lets your friends know of all those crazy stuff you did.
9. If someone slapped you, you get hurt once. If you keep replaying that movie of the person slapping you in your mind over and over again, you get hurt a thousand times. So when is NOW a good time to stop slapping yourself and start letting go?
10. Nobody likes doormats. Nobody respects doormats. You are a smart person and you have an opinion. It’s attractive when you share it with others.

The ideas here are NOT originally mine. Am simply sharing it. Credit goes to the original author if there is anything that is worth picking.

Never regret

Never regret love! 
No matter how blind, it improved your world view. 
No matter how foolish, it made you wiser. 
And no matter how generous, it made you more.

The cost of love

I found this wonderful post at RateSupermarket.ca  that casts somelight on the cost of falling and staying in love in Canada. Enjoy the research. 

Research Study Finds Average Cost Of Romance Rising Each Year

The Beatles may have crooned “money can’t buy me love”, but it turns out those warm and fuzzy feelings do have a financial impact – $45,151.88, to be precise.

The research team at RateSupermarket.ca has calculated the most recent cost of amour in this year’s Cost of Love study – and found it has increased by $1,309.80 since last year. As all relationships are unique, the study is based on the average expenses associated with a one-year dating period, one-year engagement, followed by the average Canadian nuptials – and found from first date to tying the knot, Canadians are paying up large for puppy love. Penelope Graham, Editor at RateSupermarket.ca, states that while the study is tongue in cheek, the end totals highlight the need for daily budget awareness and forward financial planning. “While you can’t put a price on a personal connection, Canadians should be aware that they will incur expenses as a result of their dating habits and relationships, Graham says. “These costs in turn should be accounted for, along with the long-term impact ongoing relationships will have on a financial plan.”

How Much Does Love Cost You?

Are you a money savvy single, cash-conscious couple or debt incurring duo? TakeCupid’s Cost Cruncher to find out – and WIN 1 of 4 dream dates!

The Cost of Love In Canada

From wooing to weddings, Canadians are paying up large for puppy love. Check out the top expenses couples face from casual dating all the way to the big day.

Life and love

Nobel laureate John Steinbeck was a prolific and eloquent letter-writer, as the magnificent Steinbeck: A Life in Letters reveals. Among his correspondence is this beautiful response to his eldest son Thom’s 1958 letter, in which the teenage boy confesses to have fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan while at boarding school. Steinbeck’s words of wisdom — tender, optimistic, timeless, and infinitely sagacious — should be etched onto the heart and mind of every living, breathing human being.

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

Wildlife and pets

In the last while, we have been collecting other peoples pets and in one case it was very sad. We had a beautiful multicoloured parrot end up dead in our back yard. We gave the bird a proper burial and asked around the neighbourhood about who might have owned the bird, but no one came forth.

A few days ago I was in the back yard and what looked like a Ferret  came into the yard, sniffing around. The Ferret   as not afraid of me and almost allowed me to pet it, but I could not catch it. The Ferret    spent a good 15 minutes exploring my back yard, trying to get into the house and finally going into the garage and out the front of the garage to explore other homes and have other adventures. I worry that the Raccoons who have taken up residence close to us will take up against the Ferret, before the Ferret  can find its way home.

It is  interesting to live in a suburban yet rural area as the changing days make for some interesting visitors