The basics

Learn to focus on you, instead of others, may be the key you've been seeking to finding what is missing from your life.

If you find that you're comparing yourself to others and coming up short, it's time to stop that destructive habit. Comparisons get you nowhere. Rather than leading to positive improvements, they only cause you pain and discontent.

A better choice is to focus on your own personal needs and wants. You're a unique individual who requires a personal approach! This helps you boost your self-image because you're focused on improving yourself and not trying to beat someone else in some uncharted race.

Learning to focus on you rather than everyone else around you can be a difficult task. Too often, we're so used to focusing on our families and friends that we don't even know how to begin the process of focusing on our own choices and decisions that determine our lives.

Follow these five tips to help you focus on fully enjoying your life:

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1. Devote one hour a day to "me time." During this time, focus completely on yourself and the things you need or desire to feel strong, lovable and important. Reflect on what's important to you. Dream big dreams and figure out small steps you can take to achieve them.

Your "me-time" can be anything you like it to be: take a relaxing bubble bath, go for a walk, take a nap, get a manicure, read a novel, or do something else. Anything that brings you pleasure simply for the sake of pleasure qualifies as me-time.

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2. Take care of your own physical, spiritual and health needs. Relying on someone else to meet your needs only leads to dependence and resentment. Don't wait for someone else to do these things for you. You have the power within you to meet your own needs and the only way you can be truly whole is to do just that.

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3. Feed you mind and body good healthy fuels. You cannot expect your mind and body to function at their best if you don't provide them with the fuels they need to work at full capacity.

Feed your body good foods: fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Drink plenty of water to keep your body fully hydrated.

Feed your mind by reading informative, well-written books,newspapers, and magazines. Choose recreational reading that builds your mind and spirit. Limit your TV watching and spend your time pursuing things that stimulate your thinking instead.

Play board games rather than video games. Listen to music designed to stimulate your brain waves with binary beats.

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4. Spend time each day doing something you love. No matter what your hobby is, it's healthy to indulge in a creative pastime. Gardening, painting, woodcarving and pottery are all hobbies that encourage your creativity while you use your hands to create something beautiful.

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5. Start a gratitude journal. Begin and end each day by listing five unique things you're grateful for in your life. Before long, you'll find that you spend more of your time dwelling on all the good things you have in the world rather than negative obstacles you might face.

Focusing on you helps you take the best possible care of yourself. It allows you to replenish your batteries and regain your strength so you can be fully present and engaged in the rest of your day.

Use these tips to start changing your focus today, and have many happy tomorrows! Believe me, try these methodsout and you'll be pleasantly surprised with the results =)

Do share with me your results. I look forward to hearing from you.  Have a great day

Beliefs

In my opinion, our beliefs can't change the nature of reality, but the force of our beliefs can change ourselves. We are desperate for meaning and value, and if a certain way of relating to the Truth (i.e. faith in God, faith in our fellow beings, faith in the universe, faith in ourselves, faith in life) can grant us all these things, that in itself is a proof that our faith is not misplaced. For the one of the proof's  that something exists is that it produces effects. 
I think when people talk about faith and religion, they tend to overestimate the "truth" factor and underestimate the "attitude" factor. Chesterton expressed this idea when he wrote:  "Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?"

Yes, I think we can thank our parents for the present of birth, and we can thank our genetic makeup for our view of life and our miraculous bodies, if we have the need to thank something or someone for our existence.

What makes you feel alive?

The above question was posted on one of the email lists I subscribe to and I thought Amy had a wonderful answer that struck a chord with me.  What struck me in reading her response is that it is the simple things in life that help her and me and perhaps you. We sometimes get caught up in the struggles of life, the politics of dispair, rather than the joys of life and the politics of hope. Enjoy!

I feel  very peaceful today, and I think I can give it a more accurate response.

The ocean. Listening to the waves, feeling the sand beneath my feet, the  breeze blowing my hair back, smelling the saltspray... and those waves. Endless depths of beauty and majesty. They can seem chaotic when I'm in a sad or grief-stricken place, but they are also beautiful beyond words.

Reading a good book. Letting myself dive beneath its pages, get swept away in the what-ifs. Getting to know the people so much that I cry when they cry, laugh when they laugh, feel I know them, feel let-down when the book ends, as if I'm brought back to the mundain, the bland, as compared with that level of letting my mind go.

Puppies, kittens, my animals. I love cuddling them, feeling the cats purr, the dogs lick my feet or my hands or under my chin. I love pressing my hands to them and feeling their breaths being taken. I love when Toby (my black lab guide dog) gets up in the night, repositions himself, and presses himself against my legs. I almost can't sleep without that comforting body there beside me...

Young life. Something about that endless, amazed, curious wonder. Taking things in wit an innocence unmarred by pain or heartache, age, cynicism. Something about letting the little ones, whether or animal or human, snuggle into you. Being able to hold them, play with them.

Music. I've said for so long now that it runs in my veins. I'd be lost without it. I thank God every day that my hearing loss isn't such that I'll just go deaf one day. Music expresses what I cannot, allows me to get lost in it, gives me comfort or strength, or joy. It expresses even those dark, angry or agrieved emotions that lack words. It's beautiful. Simple, intricate, amazing, soothing...

Writing. Often, the depths of my soul can be poured out in it, when words, the audible ones that require me to think how I want them to sound, fail me. I feel that so many people don't understand that longing to just write, to let go and say what's on my heart is more natural this way, or through singing. It's as if I can speak more openly, without fear of how I'll be erceived or judged or misunderstood. I can organize my thoughts in ways speaking does not allow. It gives me a freedom and a creativity, whereas speaking requires more focus, more rigidity. I feel alive when I write, because it's speaking the essence of who I am, not who I want others to think I am.

Wandering in the wood and serendipity

As part of my daily routine I walk about 6 to 7 km a day and when I was in Australia I did this every day. My daughter lives in a small community of about 100 people in the Alpine region of Victoria State. My daily routine, was that I would walk from her place to a general store in Mirimba,  which was about 7 km return. One day I decided to change the routine and walk in the forested area that Adam had told me about. I walked to a park which was about 2 km from my daughters house, and then started on one of the trails.

The sign at the beginning of the five km walk said there would be historical artifacts and buildings along the path that were left over from the logging done in the earlier part of the last century. I was curious so I set out on the path and was hopeful of finding some artifacts. As I went along the path deeper into the woods, I knew I would be longer than usual but as I walked early in the morning only my wife would know if I was later than normal.

I had not said that I was changing my normal walk so that if I was late she would think I was walking along the highway to the store. It was a beautiful fall day about 18 degrees with the sun shining on the trees. As I walked I noticed the odd piece of machinery and other small artifacts. About 3 km into the walk, I noticed a narrow path snaking into the woods along to a small hill and I thought I noticed a small shack about 300 yards along the path. So being curious I wandered off the main walk and went along the path. As I approached the shack, I noticed that there was mosquito netting along the front of the shack. As I went closer I noticed that there were shelves on the inside of the shack filledr with canned goods.

I thought to myself that this was probably someones supply shack and so I glanced in and did not see anyone and then turned to go. As I turned to go I heard a loud voice say "Hello". I jumped about three feet and returned the greeting  looking around to see where the voice had come from. I could not see anyone in front of  me, behind me or on the hill above me. The voice continued, "No I am in here," I turned back to the shack and looked in again and I could see at the back of the shack, sitting on a bed was a man in his early fifties. 

He asked me some questions, without leaving the back of the shack,  about what I was doing and I explained that I was visiting my new grandson and that I was from Canada and enjoying the walk. He asked me if I had enough water and was indicated that he was willing to share his water with me, if I needed it.  We talked about the joy and meaning of life and the wonder of nature and the peace of the forest. He asked if I was a "true believer". I was not sure of how I should answer this question, but since he did not ask if I was a 'true believe in a God" I answered yes, as I am a true believer in the good of  humans.  He then came off of his bed and approached the entrance and handed me a piece of cardboard with a verse from the Bible written in pencil on it.

I realized at that moment that he had been more afraid of me, then I of him. However, once he had established that I was a "true believer" he relaxed and was willing to come out to see me. I thanked him for his kindness and conversation and continued along my walk.

When I returned to my daughters home I asked her about the man, and she indicated that he was a local hermit living somewhere in the woods but every know and then he would come into the community to knock on doors and spread the word of God to the people. She said he was harmless but she was surprised I had found his home as not very many people knew where he lived.

I love the serendipity moments of life, and the wonderful characters that come into our paths and that enrich our souls and make life so exciting. I thought that my grandson will be growing up in a very special community that tolerates and perhaps celebrates those that are different and unique.

Life is a puzzle

As I was driving by the church, I noticed the sign inviting people to attend the worship. The sign said, "Life is a puzzle, find the answer here", which to me is wrong. If life is a puzzle then you find the answer from within, not by looking outside of one's self.  Most of what we see, do, feel, comes from within and is a result of listening to our inner voice. That inner voice is very powerful in determining how we view life. I love the quote from Vincent Van Gogh so please lend me your mind, thoughts and ears (:-).  "If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."  

The puzzle of life is easier to understand if we silence the negative inner voices, or if we understand why we listen to the negative voices that try to drown us. Some of you believe that we are here for a purpose, others believe that the universe or some other outside force is directing your life. I believe that we are not here for a purpose, nor is there any outside force directing or helping us in our life. We are here, we exist and we interact with others and in our interactions we have influence. Our influence may be small, or large and we will be remembered, not for our work but for our interactions with others. When you go to a funeral, people don't talk about the work the person did, they talk about the influence the person who died had at work, his/her interactions with his colleagues, his/her interactions with family members and close friends. 

Life is precious,  and we have a strong will to live, I believe we should be living in the positive not the negative. So what is stopping you from picking up your brush, whatever your brush is and get your brush ready and enjoy your painting!

 

Balance Part One

Who has not watched intelligent, educated, good-hearted people unable to create the lives they desired, who eventually give up, consumed with despair and anger? They flail like gorillas on roller skates, with great strength, but no leverage at all.

Why does this happen? One possible answer is that they had theories, models for everything around them in life, but no way to check the accuracy of their ideas. They failed to grasp that EVERYONE deletes information from their conscious input. It is simply impossible to take in all the data that streams past our senses. Note the recent experiments proving that those self-identified with either the political Right or Left can see the flaws in the other party’s arguments, but not in their own. This is typical of religious or gender bias as well. Men and women, Christian and Moslem, Believer and Atheist…all are vulnerable to this tendency.

If we are to be successful salesmen, artists, leaders, teachers, or simply human beings, we must have a cosmology—a world view. But we must also have an epistemology—an understanding of the way we gather information, and a method to determine if our methods of gathering or correlation or extrapolation are accurate. Since experimentation with the outside world is often beyond us, the only laboratory we have to test our ideas is our own lives: our bodies, our careers, our relationships.

To be certain, some aspects of these are beyond us as well, but we have infinitely greater control here than we have of events in the outside world, let alone events on the level of international politics. How can we address our customers’ needs if we don’t really understand human strength and frailty? How can a novelist create realistic characters if he indulges in massive self-deception? How can a parent or teacher help raise a child to maturity without actually maturing herself?

How, in other words, can we be certain that we actually know what we think we know? Consider the possibility that we can increase the accuracy of our thoughts through examining our interactions with the three major aspects of our own lives: our bodies, our careers, and our relationships.

1) Body. Our bodies are created by our daily behaviors. They obey the laws of physics: the balance between calories in and calories out must be maintained. But our emotions get in the way. Yes, some people have slower metabolisms than others. Perfectly true. But that is simply a fact, much like the reality that some are born into poverty. While it is more difficult for those with disadvantages to reach success, there are countless examples of those who have done so, and if you wish to be happy in life, you should study what they did, and keep your mind tightly closed to the nay-sayers. You have NO obligation to match some culturally determined standard of beauty, but you SHOULD feel healthy, have the energy you desire, and match your own values. How can you know if you do? Strip down in front of a mirror. Do you find your own body attractive? If not, you have work to do—either physically, or emotionally. Probably both!

2) Career. We have to balance income with expenditure. It is possible to be happy (or content, or at peace) in any life situation. If you are miserable at work, then it is your responsibility to either make change, or to change your own attitude. We’ve all known people who waste their entire lives blaming their jobs, when it is their own lack of courage and emotional/creative flexibility that keeps them locked into a joyless existence. Our money flow is based upon many things, including the degree of service we provide for our communities, the self-respect that motivates us to demand what we are worth, and the intelligence and discipline with which we manage our finances. Creativity, empathy, determination, energy, honesty, risk-taking…all of these things factor in. One can either make more money, or develop the ability to find greater satisfaction within the current financial level. But without the ability to find peace and satisfaction here, much of the joy of life will elude you.

So my question is: what are you doing that is of importance?

As we  move closer to Xmas, I have been thinking about life -- a pretty common activity for many of us as we approach our mid 60's I think  As I have done that and read my lists and books over time  two good themes developed. The first is "I'm blessed -- and you are, too."

The second is that people aren't simply individuals-- they make choices to belong to each other in communities -- these can be family, faith communities, work, friends, and many others.

Each year life seems a little more fragile to me, and more precious, too. I see more about the hardships people go through, and also see the wonderful things they do despite those limitations that tell me that life in all its forms is exciting and challenging and that people are remarkable in their ability to survive and to keep what is important to them at the forefront of what they do.

So my question to you and to myself is: what are you doing big or small that is of importance to you and how do you show you care?

Another proud grandparent moment

More photos of my grandson, in a warmer climate, while here the first breath of winter is making life interesting for all of us. I can hardly wait until Feb when we will be in Australia for the month. My daughters back yard, sure looks like any West Coast yard, hard to believe it is in the mountains of Australia.



The Magic of Self-Love

The following is by Aine Belton and is in two parts, part one today and part two tomorrow

Loving yourself is easy when you own your inherent innocence and worth and acknowledge the divinity that you are.

Your essential true self – the you beyond your personality, identity and negative beliefs, is so ineffably beautiful, loving and magnificent, when you awaken to it, self-love is inevitable.

In the light of self-love you come to realize that you are not your darkness, failings or mistakes, and that your negative self-concepts are sourced in misunderstandings about yourself and life.

To not love yourself is to be blind to your true nature and the loving nature of the universe. It is to be caught in the lies of ego and shrouding traps such as guilt, shame, undeserving and self-loathing.

“There is nothing but love, and all else is illusion.” - Dr. John Demartini

When you awaken to your inherent nature, self-love is inevitable.

Forgiving yourself for perceived ‘wrong doings’ and ‘mistakes’ can help you let go of and release more of what you are not so you can open to and embrace more of who you are, and the love at the heart of your being.

It is easy to love what’s beautiful in you, but it’s the ugly parts that need your love the most.

To truly love yourself is to love yourself unconditionally beyond reasons why.

To love yourself because you did a good deed, got a pay rise, secured a new job, are popular, funny, attractive or wealthy, is conditional. Love yourself for who you are, your strengths and weaknesses. And love yourself because you are - that you exist.

The essence of who you are is love itself. You are born of love, returning to love.

There is nothing you need do to win that love and nothing you can do to lose it, for you are loved completely.

States of pain and constriction are symptoms that you are out of alignment with truth - the truth of who you are and the true nature of reality.

Self-love is ultimately self-knowing. It is accepting yourself compassionately in entirety and understanding that you are more than your personality and identity. You are pure spirit.

All that you desire is yours to receive. Love unlocks the door to that receiving. When you awaken to the love that you are abundance reins, and there is a renewed flow of giving and receiving between yourself, others and the universe.

In the wake of love, dreams come true. Wounds heal and the pain of separation lessens.

You become free from ego games and agendas that can otherwise thwart your growth and success and side-track you from the truth.

Fear, loss, worthlessness, loneliness and other constricting states transform in the light of love.

"There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open." - Emmet Fox

When you love yourself neediness subsides and you relinquish futile attempts to ‘get love’ from ‘out there’, and the control, manipulation, dependency, sacrifice and struggle that can otherwise ensue.

The ego’s quest to earn love, and to compete, compare and prove your lovability dissolves in the nourishing repose and revitalizing wonder of self-love.

You are the one you have been waiting for; it is your love and the truth of your being that lies wait within.

If you’re not having the kinds of experiences you want in your relationships, the key is to awaken to this infinite supply within, and open to receive this limitless reservoir of self-love and universal love.

Your Higher Self, the eternal transcendent being that you really are, loves you more than you may ever now. It loves you totally and unconditionally.

The cliché ‘No one can love you until you love yourself’, is true in that, until you love yourself you will not be able to wholeheartedly receive love from others. You may be blind or blinkered to that love. You may deny, discount or avoid it. You may be cynical and doubt it. You may push it away or sabotage it. You may feel you do not deserve it. You may even fail to attract it due to blocks around your lovability and corresponding limiting self-beliefs.

In loving yourself you fill up with nectar from within and can radiate and share that sweetness with others and the world. The wondrous vibration of love will exude and attract happy, harmonious, beautiful realities in line with your heart’s desires.

You are source, not subject, of your world.

When you love yourself, the world will love you back.

You judge others less as you judge yourself less. Compassion is a natural by-product of self-love.

In loving yourself you are more connected to your Higher Self – the vast being that you are - and are more open, trusting, loving and happy.

You become less self-conscious and more spontaneous, less self-absorbed and more giving, less of a victim and more of a leader, contributor and inspiration to others.

Your life is graced with flow.

Problems and struggle lessen and ease.

You stop fighting yourself and others and start joining, giving forth, celebrating and having fun!

You revel in the wonder of who you are, the love of the universe, and the love the universe has for you.

The meaning of (On Canada Day)

 I read this article put out by Steve Denning  on his blog "The leaders Guide to Radical Management" and I thought this could also be about life.

Steve is taking about how business set compelling goals and at one point he says:  "The solution is simple.  In 1973, Peter Drucker provided a clue as to where to look: 'There is only one valid definition of business purpose: to create a customer. . . . It is the customer who determines what a business is. It is the customer alone whose willingness to pay for a good or for a service converts economic resources into wealth, things into goods. . . . The customer is the foundation of a business and keeps it in existence.'


The shift in focus from things to people is a first step, but by itself, it’s not enough to constitute a compelling goal today. In 1973, it might have been enough for an organization to have a customer—someone who is willing to pay for the good or service. In today’s more intensively competitive world, merely having a customer who is willing to pay for the good or service is a precarious existence for any firm. The key to an enduring future is to have a customer who is willing to buy goods and services both today and tomorrow. It’s not about a transaction; it’s about forging a relationship. For this to happen, it isn’t enough that the customer be passively satisfied. The customer must be delighted.

Delighting customers is not only a requirement of business survival; it also offers a solution to the dilemma of how to articulate a morally worthwhile and inspiring goal that is closely related to what the organization does. That’s because delighting other people is inherently motivating. It leads to an understanding of the meaning of work, which relates to people, not things.

The meaning of work isn’t in the bread that we’re baking: it’s in the enjoyment the customers get from eating the bread.

The meaning of work isn’t in the words the actor is reciting; it’s in the response of the audience to those words.

The meaning of work isn’t in the toy that we’re putting together; it’s in the smile on the face of the child.

The meaning of work isn’t in the bricks and mortar of the house we’re building; it’s in the happiness we generate in a family with a house that precisely meets their needs.

The meaning of work isn’t in the words or the musical notes of the song that we’re writing; it’s in the feeling of yearning we generate in the heart of the listener.

The meaning of work isn’t in the paper and print of the insurance policy we’ve issued; it’s in the security that we’re providing to the spouse and the children.

The meaning of the boutique hotel that we’re running isn’t in the rooms and the physical facilities; it’s in the feeling of being at home away from home that we generate in people who stay there.

The meaning of the software we’re coding doesn’t lie in bits and bytes; it’s in the cool things that users can do with the software.

The meaning that we see in work resides in the responses of the people for whom we are doing the work.

What would happen if we apply this concept to our lives as well as our business. Make it our goal to delight those with whom we have relationships. Make it your mission that the meaning of your life resides in the responses of the people that are in relationships with us. Think of the fun and joy you would bring to your life and to others..

What is the real backstory

As I walked by I stopped for a second to listen. The group was talking about the movie Avatar and the teacher said to the class, "the only purpose of life is to love, build relationship and care about others. There is no other reason for life."  None of  the students disagreed, I thought interesting that the teacher chose this movie to lead a discussion on the meaning of life. I would have chosen, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life as a better starting off point for that discussion. Not only is the movie funny, but it is totally irreverent and that in itself is a reason to celebrate life

There, of course, is more than one reason for living and I suspect the teacher was trying to make a point to get some discussion from the students. I hope she did because before I heard any responses, I had to move on.

I  notice that as I wonder around life that I hear snippets of conversation and it becomes fun for me to imagine a back story to the conversation and put the characters into focus for me. I don't do it all the time, but from time to time it is fun. Using my imagination to create the back story or the continuation of the conversation is an enjoyable pastime, and goes along well with people watching.